do you have a good relationship with your mother-in-laws?
By rosey19
@rosey19 (951)
Philippines
January 15, 2010 9:49pm CST
One of the problems in the family are the in-laws especially the mother. I have a friend, since her husband is the only boy among the siblings and when she got a son the whole attention of the grandparents was to the baby boy which makes the baby become spoiled by the grandparents and it came to the point that the grandparents are tolerating the attitude of the child. So it makes now the problem of the couple on how to discipline their son, that is why sometimes they have misunderstanding with her in-laws. Is there an incident that your mother-in-law keep herself involve in your own family especially in the decision making and disciplining of your own children? Do you have similar situation like her? How do you handle the case?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
16 Jan 10
now i do finally it got much better like 4 years ago.
1 person likes this
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
20 Jan 10
we get along really good.. she now say she see how much i love and care for my wife and i go out of my way for my wife as well.
@squaretile (3778)
• Singapore
20 Jan 10
yes i do have a good relationship with my mother in law because i think so far she has been quite reasonable. i think it is natural for grandparents to spoil grandchildren, and we can say all we want, but ultimately the responsibility for disciplining the children should lie with the parents.
if the grandparent is the main caregiver, then the grand parent should be told that if they spoil the child they are just making life more difficult for themselves as caregivers.
unless it gets really bad, i would not step in to interfere. but when i am with the child i will make sure that she behaves by my rules, and not her grandparents'.
1 person likes this
@maharlikah (1045)
• Philippines
16 Jan 10
Don't have kids yet but if it happen to me, I should not keep my kid very close to the in-law to the point of making my child a spoiled brat.
1 person likes this
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
yes it happen to me also but to my own mother. she would sometimes interfere me when i am disciplining my children that is why i explained to her that children of today's generation are not like before so just be quite because i know what i am doing to my children. it hurts for her i know but i need to do it because in the long run it's still my problem to face.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Actually, I would say that I have a pretty good relationship with my mother-in-law. We sometimes do have our disagreements between one another, but I believe that a big part of the reason for that is the fact that we are both very bull-headed. My mother-in-law has never tried to step in and tell us how to raise our children. In fact, for the most part I would say that they are very supportive of the way that we are raising our children.
1 person likes this
@KMaroon (266)
• India
16 Jan 10
Hi rosey
There are many women who are facing this problem, but I am not one of them. I have no complains from my mother-in-law as she don't interfere in our family matters, and don't stay with us. Even if she come to our place she don't interfere in decision making or disciplining our children. She teach my children that they have to listen to their mother if they worry me. I have no such problem so I have not handled it. I too teach my children to listen to their grand mother as she is elder to us.
1 person likes this
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
16 Jan 10
Yes, I am... my mother in-law is so kind, understanding and she loves my son so much.
she's very supportive mother to my husband, she's good in cooking as well, she always cooked delicious food for us. he he
1 person likes this
@hushenglang (64)
• China
16 Jan 10
actually, i didn't meet such situation.
as for me. mother-in-law have responsability to make family decision and decipline your own children. because she has been a person who belongs to your family. thus.
she put her energy on how to make the whole family happy and health.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
i agree with you but i think not really the total disciplining and interfering during the confrontation of the child maybe she can make it without the presence of the child because it might cause the child to be dependent to them. of course they can have the right to share how they handle their children by sharing not really more on interfering.
@Allie_xoxo (1063)
• Canada
16 Jan 10
We aren't married yet but my man's mom is one of the sweetest funniest people I know and we have become good friends who have been through alot together, Sounds cliche, but hey.
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
they said that before you settle for good to your partner you should be able to know and make friends to your in laws to be so that it would be very easy for you to adjust when you get married. and it is really nice to have a close relationship to in-laws so that when you have problems with your partner you can have somebody to lean on and ask for some advice.
@fchalida (196)
• Indonesia
16 Jan 10
My mother in-law always supported me to handle my children. When my children still toddler and a baby i already move to my own house, so she cannot control my children. She just have 2-3 days in a week to play with them. Off course she gave everything my children want. But my children not much to ask. So, my mother in-law just used the times to talk to them. Talking anything, tell and give story to each other, going vacation. For me as a parent, i just thing that is their times to know their grandparents. And now, my mother in-law already pass away, but in my children mind, they have their own memorizes to remember.
1 person likes this
@rosey19 (951)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
it is nice to know that you have a good relationship to your in-laws. we should not forget also that they have the right to show their love and affections tot heir grandchildren because our children also needs it and when they grew up having their own they will imitate what they saw and how they were cared for their grandparents. so they will allow you now to take part in their own children.
@Hazelrose (2179)
• Philippines
16 Jan 10
Hi rosey19,Yes i am,i have a good relationship with my mother in law,because she likes a real mother to me.She is understanding and never done wrong tome.I love my mother in law because she is very supportive for me and to my husband.Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
16 Jan 10
My in-laws are very supportive on our marriage and never had problems with them. I guess I'm the few people who had this luxury in marriage. My wife too never had any angst with my parents. If there will be any problems at all like holiday vacations, gatherings, me and my wife really explain to both sides what are the plans and how we alloted time for each parents. Like for instance, last December, Christmas was spent to my parents and New to hers. Next December, it will be the other way around. I that case, both are happy and never complain about us.
1 person likes this
@chdsandeep (397)
• India
16 Jan 10
I am still unmarried guy buy i feel yes we should have good relations with mother in laws. Whether it is our mother in law or our mother... we should give respect to both. If i don't respect the mother of my wife then how i can hope that she will respect my mother means her mother in law.. its just an example which i said... but in real i think we should respect and should consider like mother.
1 person likes this
