How to deal with the loss of my father

Hi there arystine, my wife also lost her father just five days back,`12th january to be exact. I know the pain of loosing somebodys father.She was inconsolable, and I am slowly trying to bring her back to normal. Even though I was not terribly close to my father, I really felt a lot of pain, when my father passed away about 10 years back. The only thing I can say to you, is what my father told me, when my beloved grandmother passed away "Time is a Great Healer".

When I lost my father 3 years ago was quite heavy for me too, because I am his only daughter, and I love him so much. Every time I felt sad, I try to understand it from his point of view : he was very old, and he was in coma. He already lived his best part of life, and now he wants to be with the Lord in heaven, to rest and enjoy the peace. I told myself I must not be selfish and hang on to him, but I must let him go to rest. Everytime I'm sad, I pray and imagine him happy in heaven, and soon we will see each other again too. We do need time to heal. I avoid going to his house for the first few months. we even moved our mother to another house so as not to remember the past anymore. Now all we have are memories. Yes, I still feel a kind of sadness if I remember the good memories, but I always tell myself...this is life..this is what we have to face. The older we get, the more deaths of loved ones we will face. So, cry if you need to, but don't linger too long on the sadness. I'm sure he's looking from heaven and would be sad too to see us this way.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and that really is a tragic experience. I lost my father many years ago when I was fifteen years of age and I remember feeling so sorrowful and I didn't want to do anything. There truly was a huge gap that had appeared when my father passed on. Still, when I think about it now I guess I just remember him and what he stood for. Time is a great healer and it's very difficult for you now but things will improve for you. Everyone is different so it may take longer for you or shorter but what is important is that you have a support network around you! You should have friends and other family members close to you so that you can chat about things. You also have My Lot and this is one huge family! Yes, there were tears in the beginning but now I accept that he has gone and things really are ok. Andrew

So sorry with u arystaine. It is realy a painful incident in our life if we have to lost someone beloved. Although my parents are alive yet i lost my best friend in 2005. I had some survival problems and did nt know how to deal with it. Then i diverted my mind to some constructive thoughts like writting, acting and so on. U may take a trail. But u know time is d best medicine to heal every pain. Hope u will easily cope with it. Praying for ur fathers internal soul. Lol.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.... Maybe some encouraged words will help but I'll say, this is what you must experience.I've lost my grandfather 3 years ago. I cried for days thought I'm a boy. Boy could't cry....no. So, I believe you'll get throught it by yourself. You just need time. Time will rush all the things. Maybe some day you'll find that you can face the truth and still your father is in your heart.Come on! Wish your father a good day in the heaven~~

Hello arystine. I'm sorry for your loss. I wouldn't pretend to understand the pain that you're feeling, because I haven't had to experience such a loss. And that's one of my biggest fears, as I'm sure I wouldn't be able to handle it. My heart and prayers goes out to you. And I'm wishing that you hang in there.

i lost my father also it has been 10 years now and you know i still get tears in my eyes when i think of him..... i think of all the good memories we had together . and you know you have to be strong . he will always be with you and yes you will cry but that is okay to cry ... talk about him to friends, family . and keep the faith.