My hubby's Family is Freaking OUT
By enola1692
@enola1692 (3323)
United States
January 16, 2010 9:07am CST
My daughter has been going with a boy for going on three years an my hubby's family is freaking before they said she will come to her senses an break up with him cause he is black oh she is white but now that they are still together 3 years later I am being told I need to break it up cause its wrong all I know is they both seem happy with each other they both have the same dream about college an going into CSI I don't see a problem with it an my daughter did break up with her boyfriend to make her family happy but they were miserable am I right to tell her not to let it bother her they will have to except it because they are happy but they are comming to vist us in Feb an my daughter want to introduce her boyfriend to the family but is nervous about the outcome but her boyfriend can't hid out everytime hubby's family comes to vist which is 2 times a year
1 person likes this
2 responses
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
16 Jan 10
I have to admit... if my daughter brought home a black guy.. I'd be a little torn. I'm not racist by any means... I just don't care for the mixed race relationships... of any two different races. But that's just me.
I know a lot of people in my area that would give her all kinds of hell for it. And I understand some people have much stronger feelings towards this than others.
However, I feel that its your daughters call. I wouldn't have broken up with him just to make the family happy nor would I have made her. If she was going to do that, they should have done it a long time ago.
As long as your daughter found a man that treats her like a lady, takes care of her emotionally and physically... and that child of yours has a smile on her face, what mother could ask for more?
I think your daughter needs to make a stand with the freaking out relatives. If I were her, I'd tell them "Look. I understand that you're upset with the fact that I'm in love with a black guy - but I thought you guys, after 3 years, would be able to realize and appreciate the kind of genuine love that we have for each other. If you don't want to accept it, that's fine. But he is the man that I'm going to be with and if you don't like it, well, then you can just not bother with me then I do. I would NEVER make you give up something or someone that you love."
Kind of mix up the "guilt trip" with "this is the way it is folks" routines :)
Enola - think of your daughters happiness in this matter. We're not in 1947 anymore.
And if the family only comes 2 times a year - I wouldn't worry about it so much. Your daughter just really needs to take a deep breath, and make her mind up based on how she feels. If she truely loves this dude, she'll do the right thing.
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
16 Jan 10
thank you you said it said it all I will have her read your response she dose smile when you say his name an he is trying so hard to be good to her an yes he is a gentlemen he is always respectful when he is at our home an his dad seems like a nice guy but his mom has a problem with my daughter being white also but I guess after 3 years together she has decided to accept it an like you said I see how happy they both make each other an when she broke up with him for the family i saw how upset they both were an them how they were both so happy when she decided to make herself happy an go back to him the sad thing is the only issue everyone has is his color they thought he was great for her then found out he was black they changed their minds an told me I need to break them up like i can do that once again thank you for your response
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
16 Jan 10
Please let me know what she says after reading it and thinking about things a little more! I'd be very curious to know!
And I'm glad that the guy's mother closed her eyes and opened her heart so to speak. She realizes that your daughter is a good girl - and that's wonderful. I only wish your in'laws could do the same for your daughter.
I wish her the best of luck and I'll pray for her for strength and direction because its going to be nerve-wracking as hell talking to the inlaws if she chooses to go that route :)
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
16 Jan 10
My daughter said the same thing you are right an she will follow her heart
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
17 Jan 10
No Offence but those Days are over, also it is nothing to do with the Family, if she is happy and he treats her right why should she let go, they must love one another if they have been together that long, it is nobodies business but theirs, what right does the Family have to tell you to break it up, none, I know I would tell them to mind their own business and keep out of mine and that my Daughters happiness comes first, not what the Family wants, they have no right to meddle in your or your Daughters Life, I hope your Daughter is very happy and stays that way,
I am sorry Enola I do not believe in Family meddling with each others Life's and telling them how to run it and to try and split People up because of their Colour it is not right
@enola1692 (3323)
• United States
17 Jan 10
Well the same thing happen when my hubby married me they are Baptist an I am a wiccan an we are 18 years strong so I totally agree with you ani have told the family that has a problem I will not lose my daughter over this she will be 18 soon an then what an like she said when they get married an have kids its up to they want to be apart of her life she loves them an won't turn them away but like she told them she is not a baby anymore
