Who deserves a tip? How much? And When?

Hi, Giovanni: You don't want to insult anybody with a small tip that says "I thought your service was lousy. As long as they understand that you are giving from your heart because you appreciate the service, then I guess it's fine. Coffee shops have an atmosphere that is nice. It is a great place to hang out. Bookstores here in US have taken to adding a coffee shop within the store.

Fair enough.

giving big amount of tip is not my idea, really. hehe as long as I appreciate/compensate to their good service, thats enough for me to give them tips. but not at large amounts. hehe

Chulce, sounds like you got it figured out pretty good. For me, the jury is still out on some of the other people. I guess I have to take them one at a time and let them stand on their own merits. In cases like the plumber, I felt used, so he definitely did not deserve a tip.

Chulce: I agree. Each of us has to find our own comfort level. But think about this. If you have a lot, and I mean a whole lot of money, do you think you should still stay within a certain limit so as to not make the service person feel obligated to you? Granted, a really good tipper will get preferenial service. But if you just go way over board, will that service person feel like you are buying them and then maybe they will be embarassed and not want to be your puppet?

Starbright, It is a choice that each of us have to make when it comes to the proper distribution of tipping. Each of us will tip in a different way and each of us have a certain comfort level. I say if you make plenty of money and feel that you can tip, then by all means, go for it. But, if you are like I and many others and live on a tighter budget or live a bit more frugally, you will see that you have to gauge things more differently when it comes to the tipping games.

Limosonia1, that story is absolutely unbelievable! I had to look to see where you are from. Right here in the US. Amazing! A pub that dared to call the cops over a tip? All they did was draw attention to their bad service. I can see an attorney in court with this one. TIPS stand for "To insure prompt service." The pub put it in writing and charged a fee for it but failed to deliver, and still insisted on getting paid. Too funny. Talk about making an A$$ of yourself....This could not have been the owner....

I couldn't believe it at first either. I thought it was some kind of joke on the internet. I think they should sue. Its just embarrasing to have the cops arrest you and for doing the right thing. They didn't get the service that deserved a tip. This owner should be furoius at his employees for doing that.

Thanks for the insight Benny. I'm sure a lot of folks would not tip so well if they knew the server was not getting all of the money. A number of establishments have taken to sharing the tips. It makes a good way for the employer to report the tips to the IRS and have the employees pay taxes on the extra income.

I'm told that at the airport, it's something like $2.00 per bag. I always applied this same standard to the valets at the hotel, with $5.00 being my minimum tip. If I am on a higher floor I may add a little more. I don't know if that is standard or not. It's just me. I agree that servers in a restaurant should be tipped. Food delivery people should also be tipped. Some of them must use their own car and do not get fully imbursed for the wear and tear on their car. I had the opportunity to encounter hospital valet staff a few days before Christmas. My husband had them park the car. The guy was rude and took his time and acted as if he really did not want to be there. His buddy sat there like a bump on a log. My husband was really upset over the service. Two days later when we left the hospital, my husband refused to give a tip when he picked up the car from the same guy. The guy still had the same "I don't give a d@#!" attitude. I felt badly for him, but it wasn't my call. He sort of deserved it.

Hi, Allen: You have a good heart and I'm sure people see that in you. You also appear to have mastered the art of tipping in that you know what you want and how to get it. Sometimes a well-placed tip can open doors that otherwise would be closed - like as you mentioned, getting good seats, a nice table, getting the taxi to wait for you, getting the sky cap to ignore your overweight luggage (been there, done that one), getting information that saves you a ton of time, and the list goes on. It shouldn't be this way, but I have seen cases where service was not so good and I left a tip. The next time I went back to that spot, they remembered and service was excellent. We do have to remember that servers are often grossly underpaid and over-worked. If we put ourselves in their shoes, maybe we can have a little more compassion for them.

Hi, Ace: Like you, when I go out on special occasions, I know tipping is in order. It goes with the territory. Good food, good service, good tip. We can say a nice time was had by all.

Thank you for your insight Novelcai. It sounds like you are very good at what you do. That is why you get the tips. Do your customers give you a percent of the bill or do they just give you money based on how they feel. For example, if a restaurant tab is $100 then the 15 or 20 percent of that would mean a $15 or $20 tip. If they are giving based on how they feel, they may say "keep the change" or give you $10 or even $30. How does it work for you?

I have that same dilemna in some situations. My husband thinks I overtip. I think he is a cheapskate. Life would be so much simpler if we could do as you suggest, set the price and let it be. That also means include the sales tax in the price where appropriate. Give me one price!! Sigh......

Good philosophy. We do tend to worry too much about what is politically and socially correct rather than following our hearts. At the same time, I do not want to offend. Neither do I want to be a show-off. I just want to be fair.

Good practice. That probably covers 99% of the service industry. Most of the jobs are on the low end of the scale, so all of them need it. Don't you think?

That is what TIPS are intended for - to tell the server how well you liked the service. TIPS have been turned into something else - a salary supplement without regard for the service. Maybe we need to take the word back and apply its original meaning.

I think restaurant tipping may be universal. Taxi drivers in the US may drive us into a ditch if they think they will not get a tip. How much I tip depends on the driver's attitude. I remember once when I was traveling, I hailed a taxi home. He let me out on the curb, and would not even lift my luggage out of the car. I had no problem giving him exact change. My greatest pleasure was in seeing his anger when he did not get a tip. I lived in one city where the kids (10-12 year olds) hung out in the grocery store parking lot and hurried to help patrons with their bags so they could make a little extra money. That worked well until several of the kids did not want to play fair. They upset the customers with their arguing and fighting, so the market banned kids from being on the premises without their parent present. We had one gardener who worked for us for several years. During that time, he would quite often do little extra things that he normally charged for free of charge. His was a family business with his brothers and sons. His grandchildren came to help when school was not in session. We always gave him the equivalent of a month's pay as a Christmas gift. He saved us more than that throughout the year. I must say your garbage collectors have some nerve to ask you why you did not give them a tip. Good for you for explaining it to them. They probably still don't get it. Our people are nice to us. If we call and complain, they get in trouble, so they are careful. Of course, we have strict rules about how to handle garbarge, too - lids must be on the cans, certain toxic fluids are not allowed, boxes must be broken down and tied together etc. A tip works wonders. It will get things picked up that they would normally leave behind. A bigger tip gets your trash cans put away where they belong. The guard down the street from you seems like a nice guy. He deserves a present. A tip would not have the same meaning to him because he is doing something from the heart.

I'm a sucker for a friendly greeting and a smile with my service, even at the bakery. If they have a tip jar out and I took my time making my selections, I may drop the change in the jar and even add another dollar if it is a rather large order. If all they are doing is ringing up a sale and there was no service to speak of, then I ignore the jar.

We've had that slot for tips on our receipts for a long time. I agree, sometimes you feel more like you are being hijacked for a tip. I remember eating at a buffet here in Las Vegas. It was at one of the newly renovated hotels. We paid by putting our credit card in a machine while we stood in line. The d#@n machine had the nerve to ask for the tip amount. We actually had to put in zeroes. It would not allow us to skip over that field on the receipt. When I mentioned this to the hostess that seated us, she was stunned that I could not understand why they asked for the tip before we were even seated. Also, I understand if you get a 2-part receipt and you write the tip on only one copy and happen to take that copy home with you, the server does not get the tip. I guess it goes toward company tips instead.