What if you never get to say "I Do"?

Hmmm well I got proposed to once and I found it impossible to say no but I should have. After all we broke up a month after he proposed. In fact it was after we tried to live together that I realised that he was impossible to live with. It was a silly holiday romance that went too far. I think that we are brought up to believe in being proposed to so it is a cultural expectation and women who are not proposed to are described as being left on the shelf as though they are a doll not a person. I doubt I will ever marry but I do live with a man I love very much. We have been together almost 6 years now and we will grow old together but we see no need to marry. I watched my nephew get married 4 years ago in a beautiful church wedding that must have cost the girl's family a lot of money, lovely wedding gown, big reception, all wonderful. 2 years after they were married she asked him to leave as she could not live with him any more and they are now getting divorced. He never stopped loving her and he won't talk about what went wrong. If they had tried living together first they would have realised that it would never work and would never have gone through all that wedding stuff. My other nephew lived with his childhood sweetheart for a few years before they got married. In fact he proposed to his partner the year after his twin got married. This marriage has worked but they already knew it would. They are very happy. I used to dream of a white wedding when I was a child but now I do not see any need. I am just happy to have a man in my life who loves me. I do not see any way a marriage certificate would change that.

To have someone to hold and cherish throughout life, to share with us our lives ups and downs, to cry and laugh with us is such a wonderful feeling, knowing there is always someone to rely upon in times of need. We all hope we get a wonderful life partner in life, but are we all so lucky ?? After having said I do and our vows, there are some who cannot stick to them. There are divorces galore, people who cant bear the sight of each other after marriage etc. Its sad but true. Inspite of having a chance to make a go of our marriage, so many cant, and one is back to square one after having said I DO. However for those who never had the chance, its like missing out on a very important aspect of our life. Marriage - you have it and regret it, or dont have it and regret it. Its all plain luck and upto us to make it work.

I think so, when I was a kid... I always dream to be a bride and have a big party. I did and I didn't want to miss all of those ... and it is very important in our life. dont you think

Whilst it may generally just be women who picture their big day, many men also visualize themselves being married themself one day, maybe not actually visualizing the wedding. I myself always thought that one day I would end up going down that route and have the proverbial 2.4 kids and the happy marriage. But then I realised that for me marriage was not indeed what I wanted, down to that I like my own space and freedom. So when I am old and wrinkly I don't think that I will feel like I have missed out on a major part of life because I realised that it's not something I truly wanted. It's my choice, but if it was something I had truly wanted and it never materialised then of course I will have had regrets. I think if I had never loved or had been loved then I would have had more regrets.

Hi Laydee, Might be because of the culture difference, in our country, no many people get married in a church, so the setence of "I Do" doesn't mean that much to us. But you are right, i think our women all dreak about have someone purposed us, and ask "will you marry me?", and we can say"YES!". HAHA.Don't be sad, if we keep our heart open, we will meet our Mr. Right! Sooner or later!Thanks for reading and responding my discussions!

Hello, I would not worry about it. You will still live and go on with yourlife. it is not the end of your life. There is travel you can do and not have any children around to worry about. If you ahve two or 3 good friends in life than you had a good life. Everything else is gravy. You still have your health and that is awesome and your young age I presume. if not what is your age. Thanks and Have a great day Sincerely unique16

Laydee if I didnt know better I am beginning to detect a theme to your discussions today. Im sorry if your not having a good time in your relationship right now. I read your other discussions as well. If its any consellation you're breaking my heart. I have been there it will get better. I PROMISE! TO answer your discussion, When Alejandro and I first got together all we talked about was getting married someday. Its been five years and many changes later and I dont push it anymore. I wanted to be married so badly. We live together just as if we were husband and wife. I think for him thats enough. Just recently I had told him I dont intend to spend the rest of my life as someones girlfriend. We discussed it and its true we dont have the money right now to pay for a justice of the peace. We had a fire a few years back and we lost everything. We are still trying to get back what we lost. If I never get married, I dont think Ill be upset as I would before this relationship. I know he's the one GOD picked for me. Whether or not we have a peice of paper saying that everyone else knows we are in love doesnt matter to me. I am not going to waste my time worrying about things I am unsure of. If it happens it happens. I already have the love of my life. dl