Autism - Can you use your voice?

Hi, Foxxee. I think I have been in a discussion with you before. My son is 4, he'll be 5 in March. To answer your question about why your son won't talk to you but he sings or talks with "things" is quite simple (after you ask a professional. HEHEHE, I had to ask the doctor.). Your child has autism. It is a SOCIAL disorder and to communicate with you will be a big break through. Sometimes my son has his moments that he will talk to me, maybe one sentence once a month or once every other month. The talking to us is really hard because of the lack of social skills. Most autistic children that I have seen will usually only pick up two words of sign language- more and eat. The sign for both are similar to each other. Some autistic children won't even pick up that because of their motor skills. They can't get their hands to cooperate with their mind. If your son is making noises,or even sounds that could become words, he will learn to talk eventually. Since he is singing clearly, he will eventually be able to talk to you. Mine has come a lot further than I thought he was going to in the past year. He swam on his own at four and then appropriately, announced excitement expressed, that "I can swim, I can swim." I didn't know what to be more proud of, the fact that he could swim, the fact that he realized he could swim, or the fact that he said he could swim. If your son responds to the cards, just keep working with him and remember to talk to him as much as possible.

I guess if I knew how to really answer this question I would have found the cure for Autism. What you are describing is Autism. The fact that your child can be verbal at all makes him a high-functioning autistic. That is a good thing. It also means that he can learn and is learning. Another good thing. Autistics do not know how to be "social" beings. It is not intuitive for them. They do not have the desire or need to ask for your help. They have little to no perspective which means that they cannot see how this is affecting the people around them. This can be very, very difficult for their mothers and people close to them. Their brains have not developed yet in this area. That is why early intervention is crucial for the success of an autistic child. Please get your child into some social skills groups where he can be facilitated by professionals on how to ask for help and how to fit into the group. If you start now then school will be easier for him. I know this because I have a 17 year old autistic son. He was diagnosed around 4 and we put him in an autistic preschool where he could receive the one-on-one care he needed. Then I put him in social skills groups outside of school and MADE the schools here provide social skills training at school. I had to hire a lawyer for this. It was a long fight but it was worthwhile. My son is now in the 11th grade and is an honor student and has friends and a girlfriend. You have to let go of trying to understand, why? Why doesn't my child do this when he can do that? What you are going through is completely normal. It is part of the grieving process. Just make sure that you do not stay in this phase for very long because you need every moment to do everything you can for your child. It is a long every day battle. Some days are really hard, especially when they are young but I can tell you today as I sit here typing this to you that if you put your everything into this you will succeed and your child will start to emerge out of Autism. It will always be there but you can teach them how to cope. When they are little they do not have the coping skills. These have to be taught over and over again and as they age they learn from repetitive teaching. My heart goes out to you. I know where you are and please know you are not alone. There are those of us who completely understand. Hang in there. Sorry this is so lengthy but obviously Autism is a big part of my life. Much peace to you.

Hi Foxxee, I completely understand your frustration. I have an autistic son that turned 4 on Dec. 6th, 2009. Your story sounds extremely familiarly to mine so I wanted to give you some feed back of just my opinions and what I have learned. First off it's great that your son is using his vocabulary even if it is to sing songs. I know my son started off with knowing his whole alphabet by 2 and could write them all before three. He also love the tickers at the bottom of the news channels and was great with his numbers. The issue that we found with him is that it is a social one. He can react to a tv but when he has to make the connection to explain something or to be social with someone, he just doesn't seem to know how to do that. He even was reading at 3 and yet he still wouldn't communicate unless it was in a tantrum. With this being a social issue also, He needs Occupational Therapy to help with that along with speech to understand how to use his words in the right form for the right things. This has really helped my son and as he is not quite there yet, we are seeing little improvements. The biggest help was to find both therapists who worked with children with autism and understands the diagnosis. Hope this helps some! hang in there.

Hi I have three children with different degrees of autism..ages 10,11,22. They have all progressed at very different paces. That is the mistery of autism every child with it is different. My son when he was between ages 4-8 would pick up on tv commericals and loved to repeat movie lines, he had this incredible talent to memorize an entire movie line for line after just seeing it one time.... but other everyday speech was difficult. With my youngest she had issues with connecting words to actually objects we relied heavy on PECS system. We lived and breathed PECS for years and years...developing our own sysem with the boardmaker program and making 1000's of laminated social stories, and keychain to-go pecs for when we were out in the community. Now today she is 10 and they are taking her out of Special Ed and she reads better than most junior high school 8th graders. I have no clue why she excelled so well...we spent equal amounts of therapy time with all 3 and yet they are all very different in their needs and skills. I agree with one other mylotter sign language is VERY useful in working with a child with autism... just forming the letters or words with their hands is tactile sensory input and your spoken word is auditory sensory input. These kids need as much sensory variety in thier day as possible this is how they thrive to get to their personal best. Also we did find out that our son with austim wasnt making as much progress in the areas of speech and landuage due to an auditory processing disorder as well.. speech therapy and occupational therapy can most the time help in finding underlying issues that make it harder for these kids to ...so to say , make the connection.

Hello Foxxee,Yes you can,but sometimes accompanied by actions.Autism child has his own world.He needs love,care,hugs and kisses.Try to understands always his situation. Any way, your lucky because your son can sing sometimes,while other autism cant.Did you bring him to an institution? or in SPED school? Your son needs therapist,Physical or occupational therapist.They can help your son in developing his attitutude and skills.Speech therapist also can helps a lot for him to talk. Early intervention can really helps a bout this matter.Good Luck,Have a nice day!

I do not have any experiences on this issue but the discussion here is very informative. In our country the term is not yet in full use. For kids who do not communicate with people early, they are branded as just plain shy or the quiet type. I understand that this problem is a new one. I wonder what has caused the onslaught of this problem on modern-day kids? The term didn't exist years back, so that does that mean that we did not have autistic people before? It is really confusing.

I do not have a child with Autism but i have worked with children that do. There are many degrees of Autism and each child seems to have their own ablitities. The child I work with now does have some verbal skills much like your son. There are songs he loves and the minute they are put on he will sing but asking him questions he just is unable to reply. He is 5 now and over the year he has improved a lot. This is my second year of working with him and I can tell you that he has improved on his form of communication. Not everyone can understand him but I have found that a good number of us can. He has learned in the past year more ways to show us what it is he wants and needs. If you haven't already I would strongly encourage you to get him in a preschool program that can help him. Playing with other children helps a lot as does the teaching. Make sure you have someone there that can teach him sign language so it gives him another form of communication. As to why they can sing a song and not speak that is something to ask the experts but it is very common. As it is some are great at art. I had one child I worked with that could draw better then any other preschooler. He was detailed in his work. I also know that computers can be something children with autism love as well. They can do wonders with a computer. I can not say if your son will ever talk in full sentences or not time will only tell but working with him will help him as well as you communicate. Best of luck to you both*S*

I don't know why your son does this, though it sounds like maybe he is making a breakthrough. My own autistic son will be 13 years old this summer. He did start talking when he was about a year old, though only a few words at that point. It didn't last long and he stopped talking altogether for years. He didn't start talking again until he was about 10 years old. Though it can be hard to understand...even now. My husband/his father even have a hard time understanding him sometimes. Though if our son takes his time and goes slow it can help...that is, if he doesn't have a meltdown first. Sign language has helped some. Have you given that a try? It might just be the thing your son needs to help with his communication skills. Good luck! Happy mylotting!

Hi Foxxee, i have two sons with autism and same with you we already have the same struggles and wishes for them. my eldest who is now 13 is still in the special education program and my youngest son is finally given the chance to be in the mainstream program. it's his first now and he's making it great in school. my eldest is responding well to his sped and other therapies that the school provide. he has speech delay but is trying his best to be understood. at times when we cannot really understand him he spells out the word and that's how we communicate. he's becoming more articulate now than before. you can check some of my discussions about my son and autism. i am happy that you are there supporting your child. early intervention will help a lot as it realtes to any development that we want our child to achieve. a developmental pedia will help you what best therapy and intervention you will need for your child. good luck.