Grandma's demise: Why are grand parents this much stuborn?
By Rock_Me_In
@Rock_Me_In (400)
India
January 19, 2010 11:30pm CST
Hello friends.
I lost my grandma on 6th of Jan 2010. She was 76 at the time of death.
She and my grandpa lived in a village. My grandma and grandpa loved eachother soo much. My grandpa took care of her till her last breath.
For the past 6 or 7 years my dad was continuously forcing them to come and live with us that he shall take good care of them in their old age. But they refused totally saying that their arrival may disturb mine and my brother's studies.
Last year my grandma got even more ill and my grandpa started to fear and accepted to come and stay with us on a temperary basis. I could surely say that those were the most happiest days for both my grand parents. I took a photograph of her which was the last photo of her.
Then in 3 months they left to native saying that they'll complete all the procedures and permanently stay with us. They both were to return to my home on 27th of Jan. The tickets were booked. But she died.
My dad's only worry was if they would've come before 3 years his mom would've been living.
Is this right on their part. Share your experiances my friends.
Is this right on their part. Share your experiances my friends.2 people like this
6 responses
@vathsala30 (3732)
• India
21 Jan 10
Hello Rock
I think all the grand parents are having similar natures. They think that by staying with us, they may loose their privacy. Because our parents in law, lives separately. Though we invite them to stay with us, they will give some excuses telling that we may feel disturbed or our privacy may be gone or something like that.
@vathsala30 (3732)
• India
23 Jan 10
Don't feel sad my friend. That is the way they are. What to do. You have done your duty by calling them fondly and affectionately and with whole heart. If they are not interested to stay with you, what else you can do. Moreover, who knows. One day when we attain their age, we may also be thinking like them due to the generation gap. Take it easy my friend.
@Rock_Me_In (400)
• India
21 Jan 10
Thats the thing my friend. Thats the thing with my grandparents too my friend.
After this issue, my dad said me that, "I'll just be teasing you that I won't stay with you in my old age son, but sure I'll be staying along with my children only and with my grand children. I won't be like your grandparents."
I wish my dad maintains it as he grows old my friend.
Have a nice day.
@sutent (1060)
• China
20 Jan 10
Hi friend,
I am sorry to hear about it.
In my opnion, it is their choice of living in native and not disturbing all of you. It can not be simply judged by right or unright. They wanted to living in native mostly because they love you and they want their peace and rapprochement.
But now, you family should require your grandpa to live with you to take good care of him. If he still live in native, he would feel lonely,helpless, and even sorrowful.
@Rock_Me_In (400)
• India
20 Jan 10
Ya thats true my friend.
It has been already decided.
And my dad's still in native to come along with my grandpa my friend.
Have a nice day friend.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
20 Jan 10
I think nobody can really say if she would have lived longer if she lived with you or shorter if she did. However, what you could do is to think of the happiest days in their lives (for your opinion). As long as you got the chance to be with them and they got to be with you, that's more important.
You see, even though you may think that they lived a hard life in their native home town, it's still different if they have their own house and be not in anybody's way. That's how grandparents are and sooner you'd realize or understand why it took them a while to transfer or give up their independence.
@Rock_Me_In (400)
• India
20 Jan 10
Hey my friend. Its not giving up their independence.
My grandma had her left side paralysed. Thus she can't do any job. My grandpa used to do all house hold jobs and not even had a maid.
She was not even able to bath on her own my friend. Medical facilty is also very pour there.
If she would've been here we would've treated for her problem too my friend.
When she returned to native, she said that " I'll return back soon, and after that even if you hit me, I'll stay with you only ".
That much trust she got over us. If she was here before, sure she would've lived longer and would've seen my marriage my friend, which she wanted to see.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
20 Jan 10
That´s a very sad story and I´m sorry for your loss.
Older people particularly value their independence, and I´m sure that would be the reason behind your grandparents´ hesitation. Returning to accept help from family implies that one is getting old and can no longer cope, and that´s not something that many people really want to admit to.
I´m so glad that you had some happy times whilst they stayed with you temporarily, but I´m not sure that their decision not to move in with you sooner would have had a bearing on your grandmother´s lifespan.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Jan 10
There is absolutely no way to know if your grandparents would have come sooner that she would still be alive today. There is no way at all to be sure of that. I think that this characteristic is something that all older adults have. My grandmother was very much the same way. She asked and asked my mother to come up there to live after my father passed away, but my mother didn't want to disrupt our lives as we were still teenagers at the time. However, my mother invited my grandmother to live with us in her later years and she would not do it until about six months before she passed away.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
2 Apr 10
Well, am sorry to hear about this. I accept it grandparents are really stubborn in nature. They are not easy to be convinced as they feel difficult to change their believes and thoughts.
