father image...
By atebuds
@atebuds (187)
Philippines
January 21, 2010 12:07am CST
When you have a boyfriend, or husband, do you ever notice some similarities they have with your father that made them attracted to you? Is it why you marry them eventually? Like, is your husband as smart or as industrious as your father? Or maybe as loving and concerned? Is it important that you find some traits similar? And what if after years of being together, you suddenly notice that your husband turns out to be exactly the opposite? Will you regret having married him? Will it matter after all?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@janeajozelle (197)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
yeah, most of the times since i am longing for a guy who have the same attitude as my father i feel safe with them.
1 person likes this
@agv0419 (3022)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
We are not in good terms with my father and I don't want to have a boyfriend or husband that has a same attitude like him. Ever since we don't are not close to our him and we don't get his attitude. Sometimes it makes me angry when he do the things that I don't like. I really give up to my father if I'm going to have a husband or a boyfriend I find a guy that is opposite of my father.
@manunulat (604)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
Well, it may be consciously or subconsciously that you refer to your father as a standard in choosing a life partner. I think there is nothing wrong with that especially when a father has a very good character, you have known and others have high regard of him as a person in the family and with others... workplace, community. However, our boyfriend, husband, partner should not be fashioned according to the figure that our father has shown us. They are their own unique person and they too have some unpleasing character. So to speak, imperfections. I guess the good idea there is us having that "standard" and placing our fathers as good examples of what kind of man we really want to spend the rest of our lives with. If he turns out to be the kind of man that we have been dreaming of or we expect them to be, then it is a chance for us to examine the dynamics of our relationship: how we communicate, how did we resolve the problem, how we envision our family, our life as a couple and individuals in a relationship, etc. For me, regret shouldn't be entertained... we have to treat challenges as something we can always resolve and conquer. It does not matter if my man deviated from the standard that I have pictured. As long as he had turned to be a better person after the challenge. I guess that's what really matters.
1 person likes this
@nimette (338)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
i'm guilty of that. lol. i usually find myself notice how my romantic interests resemble my father especially in their attitude because my father is a really good man. he may not be good in business lol but his hardwork, unwordly wisdom and dedication to us is remarkable. sometimes i can't help but wonder if this is the same reason i've been single for so long. cant find anybody like him. lol.
@longsdogin (454)
• China
21 Jan 10
Hi,atebuds,I always compare my boyfriend to my father.I think my father is the best “boyfriend” of the world.No man in the world can be better than my father in my eyes,my father gives me all he has and keeps dedicating to me.I do compare,bcz I want my boyfriend do better and become more perfect.All the best and enjoy mylotting.:)
1 person likes this
@MimiRemo (418)
• Philippines
21 Jan 10
It's rather the opposite for me. I don't compare my boyfriend's qualities to my father's, never did because I've never set my father's characteristics as the ideals for a boyfriend or husband. What matters to me is how uniquely perfect my man is, and that he shows his love and true colors in his own way.
1 person likes this
@mariemanuel (86)
• India
21 Jan 10
If you had a gentle and loving father you will definitely try and look for someone similar. However, if you had the opposite one would usually go and look for one who is loving and gentle.
When one falls in love with someone it is because of that persons individuality. Of course, it is human tendencies to draw parallels to the person your with. You will notice you do that with your children as well. This doesn't mean you will regret having them.
So I feel it does not really matter as long as you love the person.
1 person likes this
@AcousticSoul (1309)
• United States
21 Jan 10
Unfortunately I didn't grow up knowing my father very well but I've had the pleasure of my uncles being a father figure. I notice that I do look for my uncles traits in my past boyfriends and sometimes I would get upset if they weren't similar, by which I mean my uncle was a very masculine man who was a go getter, took care of home and was a man's man... I've had some sensitive boyfriends in which I felt then were less than a man because they weren't as masculine... but as time progressed I've learned not to compare because that only hindered my relationships. My husband is sensitive but I love him for it. I've grown to like him for him and not to compare him to my uncle
@drakesuyat (1063)
• Philippines
22 Jan 10
physically, she is a mestiza just like my mom. but there is this trait that i never really notice til she became my wife. the thing is, she easily laughs at a very shallow jokes just very like my mom. happy mylotting atebuds. btw we live in iloilo as well.
@codeofuniverse (558)
• India
21 Jan 10
In India most of marriages are arrenged marriages by their families..so there is very less scope to girls to find out this qualities..and wonderfully most of marriages remain succesful till their end of life..
@Cherlove (20)
• China
22 Jan 10
When I was a little girl,I regarded my father as the best man in the world, "I would marry a man just like him, "I thought.But when I grow up, I didn't cline to this notion any more. Maybe it is because I've found the world is bigger than I thought.With time passed by,my father became older and older, maybe I've found his world shink.Anyway, I do not want my boyfriend to be similar with my father any more.
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