My ex would rather die than pay child support and he's proving it.

Hi Marti. I raised all three of my children without child support, welfare or any other kind of help except the help of God and my wages from working my finger to the bones. But I look back on my life and I made it. I thank God everyday. I understand where you are coming from. I am going to say just let all the hatred, and bitterness go. Because all those things that he did can't be undone and he will have to go before God for all those things. Don't hold that bitterness inside of you and get in the way of your blessings. You are truly blessed with loving children and you can give yourself credit for their upbringing. You have a kind loving heart and this you have shown to me. Keep thinking good and pleasant thoughts tell the devil he is a lie and he is not going to spoil your life or your days anymore. Yes I do think some people have no conscience (heartless). I don't want to be one of those people and I don't want to be in their shoes either . I don't have much but I am at peace and I am happy. I give all the glory to God and I praise Him everyday for it. Luv ya girl with all my heart and I truly want the best for you.

I feel for you and your problems with child support, but I really think it is pretty mean for someone to say well he got cancer, guess I wont be getting paid. Forgiveness is a good thing. Some people have problems realizing their responsibilities and may really change once married. However you must forgive them and move on. I will hope that this condition will help him see the error of his ways.

Hey MW! As they say "What goes around, comes around! And your ex is getting his due! So don't feel sorry for him one little bit! And neither should any of his "baby mama's" or his other kids! What else can you say! He made alot of mistakes in his life and now he is paying the price! I hate to say that about anyone with Cancer, but in his case I have no sympathy for him! He is just another piece of garbage that never cared for anyone but himself! So, unfortunately he is getting what he, I guess deserves! Sorry, to be so blunt! God forgive me, but I have no sympathy for the devil!

well its awful when anyone gets cancer or any of the main killers in life, but its equally sad when he won't accept responsibility for the kids he helped bring into the world. I guess what goes around comes around at a certain point.

Oh no he avoids paying child support,that's sad because he needs to take responsibility for his actions.He has to step up and be a man not just try to avoid it.I don't know if anyone can be cold and heartless.I always wan't to believe that their is good in everyone.That everyone does care for one another,but I sometimes just don't know what to think when I hear about situations like this.I hope that you are doing good for yourself.

well that's really sad. he is dying yet there is no one beside him to care for him. but the blame is really on him. he shouldn't have womanized. i guess you're right that it is karma. and to answer one of your question, i don't really believe that there are some people who have no conscience. maybe there's a reason behind it.

It's sad that he has cancer. I'm sorry about that. At the same time, it's just as sad that he has children and rather than choosing to be responsible or a part of their lives, he just wants to remain a child himself. I've met people like that. The guy I know is manipulative, too...he dates very bright girls and manages to convince them that they have to be supportive and encouraging of him: he gets them so twisted up they can't even see that it's not a normal relationship. They always have an excuse for him. I know another guy who is just content to sponge off his wife; his whole family is like this. And she can't really see it, she just thinks he's going through a rough time. But she can see it in other people.

wow... I never know about someone who does this at all... it is hard for everyone now and I am trying my best to keep my head up. And who has to deal with child support thing... will be like double stress on them cuz they dont have much money like they use to. I dont understand why they choose to do this (divorce)... now as you can see, it is hard to get a job out. I wish him all the best

Well, it sounds like my ex wasn't quite as bad as yours, as we never had kids to make it as complicated a situation as yours. But he lived off me for years, always claiming to have back problems that prevented him from going to work, but he was able to play golf and bowl and play computer games. He never helped around the house and spent most of his free time while not golfing or bowling at the race track losing money that should have been used to pay bills. I finally got my belly full and got up the nerve to divorce him about 20 years ago. I met a wonderful man after that who is everything my first husband was not. I have never seen my ex since our divorce and don't want to ever again. He was a big mistake I made when I was 19, young and stupid.

I'm with you on your feelings Marti. The only thing I can say is, don't put yourself on his level and wish him the best. That way karma will be good to you. Everybody gets their due when they right or wrong another so don't let it come back to you, one who does NOT deserve it. How is everything going with you these days? It's been a while since I've been on mylot on a regular basis so I'm a wee bit behind on everything.

I would not wish cancer upon anyone but I can appreciate what it feels like not to care for someone who has continuously hurt you over and over again. I had someone like that in my life and I too can honestly say I don’t care what happens to him. I believe that what goes around comes around and perhaps it is his time to suffer now…I don’t know if that is why this has happened to him but I think that the best way for you to go on with your life is to forgive him and move on. Forgiveness does not mean condoning all the crappy stuff he’s done but freeing yourself from his memory and as far as his cancer goes, it appears as though he has a tough battle ahead.

I have met and interacted with every type of personality you listed here and some more losers to boot. I even stayed with a homicidal maniac one time, but when I discovered I was pregnant I left. At that time in my life my own self esteem was so low it didn't matter to me what he could do to me but as soon as I knew that I carried a child I could not put that life in danger. That baby was a turning point for me and I went on to pull myself together. Now that I am much older I try to avoid those types of people. I have enough problems of my own without taking on the problems of men that, as you say, have no conscience.

Hi Mentalward Iam sorry for you ex as he is suffering from the dreadful disease cancer, but I cannot excuse him because he had affair with many women but I think what opinion you have towards him is right, I would suggest you be away from him. I can say only one thing that I am happy with my husband and don't have any ex and don't know about such persons. Have a nice day.

i kinda feel bad for him i mean shes 55 divorced has cancer and your probably sucking him dry! lol no jk. i feel orry for you he basicly stole 14,ooo dollars from you. i hope you have better luck in the future with your husband.

Yep know 2 of them,one my ex who never in his life gave me the first payment of child support, but them after we had our first I come to find out that he wasn't the only child he had, I knew about the 3 boys in Indiana, that is only because the state gave him a choice in paying child support or getting out of the state. This was back in the 60's and they didn't push the fathers like they do now. He went on to marry a woman that had 5 kids and one on the way, not by him. My satifaction came one night when she called me to ask how you get him off the couch and to work, I told her, good question as I tried for 11 years. Second one, my daughter's ex, he pays when they threaten to put him in jail, or should I say that his woman he lives with pays, he little rich boy, who has been in and out of jail so much the parents don't have anything to do with him anymore. This woman is almost 10 years older than him, and supports him, when my daughter goes to court for child support they can't pay cause they just bought a new travel trailer, 5th wheel, but then it is all in her name, so nothing the court can do, he works being paid under the table so that there is no record of him a pay check, the kids have to go over there every other weekend as that what the court records state, they go but don't care if they there or not. See my kids, they could care less what happens to their father, he did come back into their lives for a instant a few years ago, my daughter tried her best to make him feel welcome, but my son said, he hasn't been my dad for 30 years, why start now. So it is him that is losing, same with the girls, they know their dad only needs them to be there if he needs them, and for nothing else. Both are slime and you know what I believe, the sicknesses and the hard times they are having is all brought on because they are such a poor excuse for a man. Kids know what is going on, and they don't care whether they there any more for them or not. As for the kids dad, oh well what happens to him I believe he deserves.

Good morning, dear girl. In my experiences in this old world...there is "givers" and there is "takers", and in my world the balance used to be MORE givers than takers, and now I think the balance has shifted..MORE takers/users! In my genre, in past, it was a embarassment to be a taker...now I find people brag about how they took this or that...used this person or that person...and to me THAT is demoralizing! I am much happier without that demeanor in my world. Cheers, and I hope the winter is treating you well.