Always find yourself settling for less?

most of the time because i am kind which always been abuse now i feel smart and know to defend myself to other people who abuse me. i make sure that i know where to stand for as long as i know i am on the right side, i would not hesitate to fight when i see that the other person is guilty. i make him realize he is wrong and not me.

I always beleive I come out on top. that way I feel as if I have always won lololol

You know I get fed up with that situation. But I am the one who is always there for my friends. Even if they do not give the same treatment for me. Let me share a story, I have a friends on my first job. They are the most demanding friends I ever had, like when you did not do what they said they will not talk to you anymore. I really don't know why I stayed in their group and stick to them. what I done is I resigned, but not because of them but for professional reason. That is the time that I escaped on their treatment and i was very happy then. They keep on contacting me and I replied to them but sooner I did not feel to replying to those messages they had sent on me. It depends again on the people if they like to stay in the demanding people, it depends on them if okay to be a loser. If they find friends to those demanding people I guess they will stick to them. That is their life anyway.

WIn-win situation?? THat's something which is not easy to do.. Because winning, can be defined in many ways.. Some wants full benefit or advantages from what's done, and thus there's no way a win-win situation can be met.. As for me, i guess i'm always a loser, for i dun mind being at the loser end, as long as i get what i want, be it being much lesser.. haha =D But still, it must be within my expectation, so as to make my work or effort worthwhile.. haha =D

You asked a sticky question. It seems to me that the way to handle being taken advantage of is to say quietly and very firmly, Thanks, but NO thanks," and stick to it. Don't let them wear you down. Some people will be offended, but they will get over it and have more respect for you. If they don't, they were never your friend in the first place.

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As a Zen practitioner, I don't see such situations in terms of being a winner or loser. It is considered to be an ego-thing that isn't totally real. If I was to ask myself what exactly I am "losing" it would be almost impossible to explain. For in reality it is a belief and a belief is not totally real! - Derek

It is hard to deal with people like that. My boyfriend is something like that. I usually do what he wants, but sometimes I just tell him I've done enough for you. You are on your own with that. People that just want to take all of the time, just seem like they are never really grateful for anything, or if they are they don't really show it.

i have longer patience even some people are demanding they could not dictate me and i would still insist on my freedom. afer all its my life.

hi neel^^;; i don't think i would still consider trying to keep them because the more we try harder to please and be polite to them, the more we will fall to their bait. such kind of people are very expert in sucking and know people's vulnerable part and they will use it against you...it's like backstabbing you know. so if you notice that they are these kind of people, just get rid of them as early as possible before you completely get into their trap. oh by the way, i would tell them like..."i can offer you some help but after this, you must do it on your own and there's nothing more i can do as i also have my own personal matters and needs to consider" well, in this, still try to help them at first heee heee!

not all the time it only happen to me when i have little power or control over a situation so even i like to be the winner their are many obstacles. one things the other person is have more qualification than me or just simply using me. when i know that a person is only good to me after he get something for me and see his real self. i would not allow him to dominate me as i already know my strength and weaknesses so i know to stop further abuse from getting worst by disallowing it.

yeah, when others take advantage of my kindness so i could not force anyone to accept or love me. i am more of a giver rather than a receiver.

I guess I'm different..I seldom feel taken advantage of or unappreciated. But I only say yes to things I really don't mind doing for others, I'm not hesitant to tell someone I have too much on my own plate to stretch myself any thinner. I don't fight for my rights I exercise them. It works for me.

Hi! I believe that this usually happens if we just allow other people to abuse us. That is the reason I choose the people I mingle with. If I feel that the person is just trying to use me for her/ his advantage I immediately keep a distance from that person. I choose my friends. I believe that if the person is really your true friend then they will always bring out the best in you. It is also the same with work. If my Boss is too demanding and a slave- driver but then I am not appreciated whenever I do something good then definitely I would be leaving that Boss.

Well I'd probably say that it roots out on differentiating "needing" and "loving".. Both are different.. Love respects others while "neediness" is selfish.. Try to figure out the motive of a person first, because based on what I have read in an article a needy person attracts another needy person.. so always be aware of your limitations and find out if the person really loves you or just need you so that you'll know how to respond to them. I hope I helped.

hi neelianoscet I have known people who ask for your help and advice. then after each thing you suggest, its oh no I could not do that, or no that wont work, until I get tired and I say. "well sorry I could not help but," and I look at my watch," I am late for an appointment so must run.bye now. take care." that is polite and easy to take without making the person angry. everyone knows that people do have lives besides helping someone who does not want to really be helped.