Do you compare your children with other children?

I do not compare my children or spouse with others because each one are good in their own nature, and secondly I feel that by comparing them with someone else, their spirits may go down and there are chances of developing some sort of inferiority complex in them which I do not like. I will praise them if they do some good things and correct them if they do some mistakes but never compare them with anyone

hello dear brother, Some parents cannot avoid comparing their children from other kids,due to many reasons. If their kids were not doing good at school,the parents surely will name drop other kids name to compare to their kids. And,i agree with you,this will lead to self pity and loose self confidence for the kid/s. Honestly,i did...not with other kids but with my own kids. Me second son is not very fond of studying his lesson,and that gives him low grades,compared to his sister and younger brother that attaining very good grades,esp my daughter who's always at the top lists. I can't control sometimes my emotion that is why it did happen. I know it's not good and regretted after. I've talked with my son after that incident,and explained him why. Eventually,it does helped him...he's striving hard now making up with his grades. He's not a dull student...he is just too lazy to study. Regarding your second statement..comparing spouses with others? Ohhh...forgive me God...i could have give my husband a straight jab on his face taking out all his teeth That would be a great insult.(ugh!!!) Have a good day always dear bhai..happy weekend

Well I would agree that comparing children, and indeed spouses aloud and in front of other people is soul destroying. It is a very negative thing to do and especially with children, erodes their confidence. Parents cant help comparing children, but it is best if they do this in private.

This is the last attitude anyone can do. It will spoil their self-confidence. Instead of thinking about self-development, they will start thinking about the other person's achievements and develop inferiority complex. My friend always compared her son with my son. Now that son of hers is a wreck.

My papa constantly does that! Look how well behaved they are, look how polite they are, look and learn how they talk, they are not fat like you, they have made it a grade in life. Oh fie, who cares. LOL. He is the jealous kind not me. :) I am happy with me. :)

Yes, I do it every now and then. But I do it just to show the difference between good and bad. For example, when talking of how important education is to my children, I compare them to the street children who are asking for alms to pedestrians, commuters and drivers. I said, "You are very fortunate to attend to private school, but those children aren't.So, strive to learn well". Another example would be eating three meals a day. I compare them to those children living in below poverty line where there parents can't afford to buy them foods. Yeah, I compare my children with other children just to teach them a lesson or two about life.

NEVER. This is a horrible thing to do ,be it for children or spouse.THis is very demeaning and we are just letting down our own people.I hate to see people do this and would used to strongly protest whenever my student's mother praised her other child in comparison.Mothers do this insesnsitively wihtout realising they are breaking the young child's heart and it will only affect the child's self confidence and have a negative impact on the performance.As for as doing it with one's spouse , whoever does it must for a moment think what would happen if the partner were to do this. If both partners do this then they can keep on looking at others , keep sighing for the green grass on the other side and feel miserable and then spoil their pown lives.[I guess I have voiced the last sentence too forcefully]

Hi vijayanths, I agree completely, I think that it especially hurts children but the same is true for adults as well. We should never even compare ourselves to others. Blessings.

I dont see that quite so much with outside children as I see it with their own siblings. However, I make sure that I dont compare my children, and I dont ever compare them to other children because I am slightly biased about my children. The reason for this is because I think with all their faults they are perfect to me. Therefore I would not think that they were comparable, you know.

No, I never did that with my children when they were young, and I still do not. It is always best to point out a child's best qualities and encourage those, and to treat each as the unique individual s/he is. A healthy self-esteem is so important! Karen

Yes Vijay, Many parents and husbands/wives do this but this is not fair to compare our kids to other kids or our spouse to any other woman/man I strongly oppose this, this is the worst thing face by many children and persons around the world, you are absolutely right children or your spouse lose their self confidence due to this, not only self confidence as well as their courage to do the things, their attitude towards family, society and friends any many more things are affected by this, no one in this world is perfect we all know this, so how can your child/spouse be equal to other children/person, any relationship can not grow up or remain proper with this kind of habit.

i alway like to read what you post . yes,i totally agree with you .although i don't have children now ,i think it is wrong to compare the child with others.but so many family can not know about that . but you will be affected by the people around you.it is so borning .you have to do something to protect your child

Yes I compare my kids to others but not verbally and especially not to my kids. I like to see how my kids compare to others and am often impressed. I see some wild kids in the world today, at restaurants and the mall, acting like little tyrants. I am always thankful that my kids are so well behaved. I also judge the parents by how the kids are acting because kids are a reflection of their parents and their upbringing.

Good question,i don't compare my children with other children,because i don't like comparison to any one,there is a different kind of people to due different types of situation,so, i don't compare ,i just tell my children to do good thing ,i love them very much,so i just leave them to live happily, not by torturing or not by comparison with anyone ,so this my view about this topic,and have a nice day.

For me it is wrong to compare people over people as people are different even the name is the same. Even if they look identical their decisions in life are different, they have different wants and different needs. They should not compare. I heard from my parents before that some of the parents are comparing their daughters to us. In our environment, some of the girls get pregnant easily, because even at the young age they are exposed to environment that have a family at the very young age. Me and sister are different. WE are not like them, we are responsible daughters and we obey our parents that much, that is why the parents of the young mothers in our place compared their children to us. As for me, we have different decision in life, so I guess it is not right that we were compared. I guess people are different, and it is in them if they want to do the same as other people does.

Well, before I had children I would always say that I would not compare my children to other children. The reason why I said it was because my mother would compare me to other children and I really did not like it, It made me feel inferior. Now that I have my own children I try not to do it, but I must be honest in saying that I too find myself doing it sometimes. Then I realize that I only want the best for them and I just want them to do better. So, I stop and try to get my point across in other ways. The joys of parenthood.

I do not have kid yet. But i think when i have one, i will not compare him/her to other kids. Because they are the angel send from God. Everyone of them are different, that't why you can't request them to be the same. My parents compare me to other kids when i was young, and i HATE it. So i won't do it to my own kids.

My parents and all my elder relatives compared me to other children when I was younger. It gives me the creepy feeling that they don't like me and thus they were ashamed of me. Also, the pain of slowly realizing that whatever I do, I will never be just good enough for them... T'was a painful experience that still haunts me to the present.... Now, that I have my own kids, I will never do that. If ever, I'll compare them to other kids it is only to know who they are but not to demoralize them. I will not even voice out that comparison. Children are special and like all humans they are unique individuals, too. They both have weaknesses as well as strengths. I will not wish my children to suffer such confusion and pain I had been through when I was a kid like them, nor will I wish that they were like other kids. I will just let them be who they are and will try my best to hone them into a better and productive individuals of the future.:-)

My mother does that quite often,and I hate it when she does it.I do understand she does it to make me competitive and be better than anyone.But I love to be what I am and be better in my own ways. One thing is that I will never compare my child with others.

I compare my Child to other Children but I also respect his advantages and disadvantages. I always look for the better attributes in everyone I meet, children included. But sometimes Im like, My kid is smarter than your kid!!