Love is so overrated

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I used to be a romantic. I've written a lot of poetry in my almost fifty years and most of it is probably about love. Lately I am coming to the conclusion that love a way overrated part of life. I don't want to sound like a skeptic or a pessimist but I really don't think I get it the way I used to think I understood. I have been married twice. The first time for fifteen years and I don't know if it was bad more because of one thing or another. Really, it takes two to make a marriage so aren't we both at fault for it ending. Now I have been married for seven years this coming week. We have four kids, and only one of them lives here but the rest visit frequently. I find we are often competing over who has the best kids. How wrong is that? Sometimes we think if we didn't have any kids that we would get along alot better. How wrong is that? Is it true that either you love each other or you don't? Is it really that cut and dried? Like I don't want this marriage to end, he is so good to me in so many ways. I just wonder why life sometimes presents so many challenges.