Ladies - When is the Right Time to Let go?

krystal well I am at a loss as I dont know much about just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend, in marriage you get married for life, and you love for life, and if you are bored and he is bored then just maybe you or he married the wrong person or else you expect each other to be all all the time, nobody can make you bored or unhappy but you, how you perceive it, but living together seems to be so open I have no idea what to say I think you should not expect your boyfriend to be everything for you, nobody can do that , we each have things we want to do on our own, nobody can entertain you twenty four hours a day, sometimes you need to do things on your own, even in marriage each person has their own personal space they need occasionally. I guess in this modern live together you do not plan on forever after just get new mates every so many years, sort of like buying a new car or new furniture, your old get boring so off with the old on with the new, seems awfully cold to me. I mean I thought one fell in love and loved only one man for the rest of your life, not five or six or eight or whatever. as for bored, do a bit foryourself. go out with girlfriends, make more friends,job , hobbies no man or husband can do all that for you seven days a week twenty four hours a day thats impossible.

Hi Krystalheart, Ya, things can get like this after a while. You get used to each other and take each other for granted. What you are seeing is the real him. What you saw when you first started seeing each other was him trying really hard to win you over. Once he was comfortable that he did then he slid back to being who and what he really is. You can't change him. What you can do is change your focus from him to your own life. Focus on what YOU want. You said that you once tried to break it off but HE didn't want to....what about you? The reason why guys get away with this kind of behavior is because women will put up with it. Maybe if more women walked away from this sort of stuff then these guys would "get it".

OK a relationship not married? Easy to walk away then. Married a little harder. I was married to my first one for 5 years most of that time we were seperated fo rhe slept with my girlfriend and any one else he could find. then he moved and came back and aske dme to go with him oh yes it was I will do better then found he was going with baby sitter! ok I took it for a few months. Then I just up and left him and really only looked back when he took my kids and put them up for adoption as soon as he got them back to the state we were from took me 27 years to find them but I and daughter did! Dont wait get out now wont be easy ya have feelinbg but will be best to cut it off before thens get nasty. I am sorry but The reason I said this is I had a girlfriend that was getting abused and I knew her 5 years and I didnt know it even tho I lived in her house for awhile they hid it good She ended up killing him . shot him as he was beating her again!

It is supposed to grow stronger the longer the relationship goes. But if you are feeling that you are being taken for granted, then you should do some homework and check where the lost link is. If you think he is not the right person meant for you despite having been together for so long, you are at liberty to let go before you land yourself with heavy emotional luggage. Of course the initial stage would be painful but you are free from ending up a stooge with a man who doesn't treasure your presence.

The time to break up a relationship is when you are no longer happy. Unless there is a marriage and children involved there isn't even any reason to seek counseling. Why are you hanging on to this man? Do you feel you will be miserable without him around? No one can tell you when to call it quits. When you've had enough and start to respect yourself more, you'll leave.

Hi Krystalheart! I've been with two boyfriends before I found my lifetime partner who is now the dad of my 4 month old baby. The first two relationships ended maybe because I am not yet that mature to be in a serious relationship. It is normal to feel neglected sometimes. In fact, in my relationship right now it is my husband who is telling me that I am not giving him the attention he needs to feel secure in our relationship. He would sometimes whine that I am spending too much of my time at work and then when I am at home I spend a lot of time in front of my laptop or with our baby. My husband and I work in the same company. Among the two of us he is more sweet compared to me. It does not mean though that I no longer love him and he is no longer important in my life. It is just for me even if we are already a partner i life we are still different individuals. We can't just be together always especially that I have a work, he has his own, we have a kid and we have different hobbies, likes and dislikes, and different set of friends. It is still important though to spend some quality time alone together. Look into your heart. Is that the only reason you are no longer happy with him or is it because deep inside that old feeling is gone? Maybe not completely but little by little your feelings for him instead of growing stronger goes weaker. If that is the case then it will be time for you to let go.

It may be time to go. But first see if you can both get counselling. Ask him to do this and tell him why you ar unhappy with the relationship. If he agrees to relationship, then there is some hope. If he doesnt agree, and wont spend any more time with you, it is time to move on.

Hmm.. Perhaps the interest has dwindled down because of the routine. I guess when people live together for so very long, we are able to see the routine of things and somehow it isn't interesting anymore. Perhaps you should stop the routine and make him more curious of your activity. If he doesn't tell you all his activities for the day, then don't tell him yours. If he doesn't want to go with you in your activities, then don't force him to. But don't neglect your responsibility as a wife or as a partner. Remind him of the woman he once loved and perhaps you could spice up the relationship once more. I have gone through the same with my partner, but have always gotten the opportunity to talk about it with him during our together time. I can't believe he doesn't want to go to the movies with you anymore. Whew. Anyway, just do your best to show him you love him. Have an honest one-on-one talk, and if he decides or if both decides the relationship isn't there anymore, decide if it's worth going on together or in your separate ways. It's never an easy task to move on alone. But they've always said that long engagements (which don't lead to marriage) would never last. But prove that you're not one of the statistics.

It depends on your tolerance level and how deeply are you committed to your relationship. If you think he is getting in your boundaries then you should consider letting him go. Think about the consequences of your actions, Am I still happy after I let go of this relationship? If not, I think It's better to stay. If Yes, then maybe you only need the courage to say goodbye to him and find another one.

I think the best that can answer your question is your heart. People will tell you this and that, but u know , u just know , in the final analysis, only your heart can decide. Whats sad is even you yourself want to let go, you end up hoping for the better because deep in your heart, you still love him. I know the feeling ,believe me i know. :)

maybe he is just looking for some dynamics in your relationship. it has been 7 years like you said and that maybe he wants something new for a change in your relationship. he doesn't want to let go so maybe that means he still loves you. try something new in your relationship and maybe he'll be better.

That's definitely a hard decision to make. I noticed with my last boyfriend that after three years, he started looking outside of our relationship for friendship and entertainment. It was a change that came very suddenly when he met a few new guy friends. I found that I was angry with him a lot of the time because I was no longer at the top of his priority list. At that point, I noticed that his heart began to wander too. When the relationship finally ended, I discovered that I was better off without someone who didn't have the maturity to make our commitment the center of his life. If your partner won't be completely honest and put you as his first priority in all of his endeavors, I personally don't think he's worth having.

Yes if he's like that then it is time to let go. Don't hold on to the past - move into your future, embrace it.

I think the problem is the time, you have kept the relationship with your BF for 7 years,becoming familiar with each other too much, there seems to be no secret between you and him, so your boyfriend may get fed up with this situation. The next step is to marry him immediately or just break-up with him.Since as to him, you are his good friend rather girl friend.

I think that when you are done, you will know. If you have certain things that are important to you and if he is making promises and not following through, that sounds like grounds for breaking up to me. But if you want to try and give it a chance, you need to make it clear what you expect and what you will and won't tolerate, be consistent and see how he responds to that.

For ladies and gentlemen both, it is time to let go if your partner strikes you or verbally abuses you, if you find out he/she is cheating. In one case, a young woman discovered her fiancee was cheating with the same woman that he used to cheat on his former wife! She talked him into counseling and is still engaged to the rat. I would have tossed him overboard. If your partner has no regard for your side of a discussion, makes bad jokes at your expense, degrades the way you dress, your hair, weight, or any other of your traits on a constant basis, thus making you lose confidence in yourself, get rid of him/her. If you are simply bored and thinking of going elsewhere, do it! A marriage under these circumstances would dissolve fast. In marriage there are times when partners are bored. Marriage or any commitment takes work. It sounds as though you are not ready for it. Ask yourself, if it came to a choice - his life or yours, which would you choose? When you can honestly say His or Hers, you have a real relationship worth developing.

i GUESS when there's nothing left to hold on to, it's time to say bye bye to the things you've been used to, all your life (well not exactly, but for a very long time right?). IF you really think, you have a very good reason to NOT let go (yet), then ask yourself, is it worth it...? Course I'm not saying it's the easiest thing to do. Cause it's not. As for the signs you were saying, well, I think it differs in different men. But I think the bottom line is, if you just don't feel anymore that he's still interested with you, or when it's obvious that he's not making any effort to make you feel cared for, it could be a good sign to re-think about everything in the relationship.

when it hurts no more...

When the two of you are no longer happy with each other, then that is the time you let go. Why prolong the agony? "Love is like a bird. Set it free. If it comes back, then it is yours. If not, it is not yours to begin with."

well it would be better if you ask him that question,.them if he said that he dont want your relationship anymore,its time yo let go.