How would you forgive a spouse who cheats on you?

I know I like this topic... I am still single, but if i am on shoes of those married couple and my partner cheats on me, I swear to heaven I really won't...

I wouldnt believer him at all. Its disguiting with how much disrespect your husband is treating you I have seen it so many times with my parents (and grandparents), my father cheated on my mum many times also he promised to stop drinking ... he is still drinking till this day. I dont know why my mum is still with him..she said she has done it for us kids... If he lied to you so many times why do think would he stop? He sees you forgiving him each time -makes him think it can go like this forever... Sorry but I really think he is not worth your love... Hope you work everything out, wish you good luck

I will never forgive my wife, if she cheats on me. The day I find that she is cheating on me, will be the last day with her. I do not cheat on my wife and I expect the same thing from her. I know some men, forgive their wives, when they cheat on them due to family circumstances or for the children, as far as I am concerned, once a partner cheats, that is the end of the relationship.

If I was to find out that my husband was cheating on me, I would only be able to forgive once but I would never be able to forget. That said, if infidelity was to happen again, I think that would be the end of the marriage. I've always heard the saying that there is no love if there is not trust and two cases of infidelity would be enough to destroy trust for me for the rest of my life. I know that there are kids involved and that they would be hurt, but in the long run I think that they would be better for it.

I don't thin that I could stay with my spouse if he cheated on me. I could eventually forgive him, because, like you say everyone is human and we all make mistakes, but I would never feel the same about him again.

Hi illicithoney1005. Yes, that is a very difficult situation. There is really only one sure Cure--the person needs to commit to Christ--truly commit to Christ. The root cause is a spiritual matter: we are all born with a sin nature. One should still forgive, but they can also go to war (not against their spouse, --- but against the spiritual forces that incite these problems). For those on myLot who think what I said will not work, -- it won't unless you mean business. It does work when you mean business. I had an in-law who was a Christian, but backslid and began to commit adultery. His wife, mother, and Dorcas and I went to spiritual warfare about this. God moved upon the man and he responded--forsook his sin and returned to Christ and his wife. Go to war against the sin nature, satan, the world system. Here is some help: http://petemacinta.bravehost.com/ma02.html http://petemacinta.bravehost.com/ma03.html In the Name of Jesus I ask my Father to incite boldness in those who face these problems and His gracious comfort and direction while they go through the problem.

I have read all the comments from the readers. But one thing I don't understand is that why all think that only husbands cheat! Don't wives cheat also? What happens when a husband comes to know that his wife is cheating on him? Will he forgive her? Your response is invited.

Stop believing the jerk and get up and leave him. He's already left you in his mind or he wouldn't be cheating. Once a cheater always a cheater. He isn't worth all the heart ache you are letting him impose on you. Pack up your stuff and leave him. What I like better is: Pack up his stuff and throw it out in the yard and change the locks on the doors. Don't let him talk his way back into your life.

You are a more charitable person than I. He would have been tossed out on his ear the first time. Once the divorce was final and he was out of my life, THEN I would think about forgiving him. The forgetting would take the rest of my life. I've never understood the type of 'love' that lets another person trample you into the ground, pick you up, dust you off and knock you to your knees again. That isn't love - that's sick. Get rid of the bum and don't look back! If you have children, don't degrade him in front of them - after all, he is their dad no matter how rotten he is. But make sure you see as little of him as possible and get on with a real life. Be more careful in choosing another husband. The sad thing is, he probably cheated while you dated and saw no reason to stop just because he got married. If you KNEW he cheated before marrying him, then you were really foolish to think he would change. Hope things turn out okay for you in the long run.

I would find it hard to believe him after multiple times of catching him in a lie. However, if you still love this man and believe the marriage is worth saving, you should try to get him to go with you to seek counseling. If he wont go, you at least need to get counseling for yourself. You will definitely need help in how to deal the with situation. whatever you do, don't discuss his cheating with you friends an/or family. They will never forgive him even if you do. You may even forgive and forget, but those closest to you will do neither.

sometimes we hope to forgive them.but they still do the same thing is cheating.of course,we have goodness and hope to believe what they said.but it is not true.so you should keep good mind and recieve the truth and find a good way to deal with it.maybe it is painful for you at that moment.but i think that one thing can happen.but it still end.so you should have bravy to face it and select life what you want and dont be addicted to this,this only hurt you deeply.i believe that you can find the real life after this thing and make you happy.

i have written in my previous posting about if in case my husband cheat on me - i clearly state there that i will forgive him and love him. however, if it is repeatedly done, that's another thing. in the case you mentioned above, my understanding there is the act becomes habitual. and when it becomes habitual it becomes a constant heartache and makes life miserable so i guess you have to decide already. forgiveness is not a question here because he has been forgiven several times and yet still cheat. the question now is, until when will you allow yourself to become miserable? until when will you allow yourself to live a life that is full of hurt and lies? until when will you tolerate this? i think making a decision here is very important because the effect of the cheat is not anymore making your life productive and happy. so decide.

I may forgive him but I won't be living with him anymore. It's either he leave the house or it's me and my children who will leave our house. I can no longer live with him, thinking that he's taking other girls to bed. He won't be a good example to my children. My children will lose their respect for their father if they will see us fighting always because of his womanizing. Trust is one of the foundations of a lasting marriage, what will happen if I don't trust him anymore? I can't live in a shattered marriage.

Different people have different principles and outlook in life. I for one look at marriage and relationships this way: my choice of a mate is simply based on whether you are compatible with the other - compatibility anchored on love, understanding and faith no matter where one came from, status in life, one's past. But after being together for so long and then infidelity comes in, I will consider my mate unforgivably unfaithful. Then it's goodbye, so long, farewell and good riddance.

For me it's unforgivable. Once trust is broken, it's impossible to fix it. I don't like cheaters. No room for dishonesty for me.

well, my heart is weak and i will forgive if he cheats. is is more difficult to say divorce than forgive because you love your husband so much. maybe you should give him a chance to turn into new leaf. your children needs father too.

im sorry that it happened to you., and dont worry about., because when he doesnt care about you why do u worry about him., avoid him totally when he is with you inside those 4 walls., never bother about him and you be busy with your work, make him think that you have taken a turn aroung and now you have started avoiding him., dont mind to reply his questions, in short boycott him and dont throw him away., highlight your greatness when comparing to her through your activities..

It depends on you, if you are hopeful that he will change and your marriage will do better, you will not give up on forgiving. In such case, prayer is the most effective thing for a person to change, it might long or short time before it will be answered but I believe that prayer can change thing. Anyway, if you want to save you marriage...be patient.

well...it's hard for me either to forgive too. but, it should be the trigger or something wrong between us - or me. i should find out why she/he did such thing. and, also should find and try to change mine. i could not only blame people while it also about me.

after hearing your story i think you should leave him now. he's taking too much advantage of you, your innocence and your forgiveness. but there's a limit to everything, and i think he's crossed that long ago. you are still bearing...that's a surprise! you better look out for someone who'd love you more and whom you can trust more.