Go along to get along...

I can relate to this.. although in a different way. Sometimes, no matter what your advices and opinions are, you just have to go with the flow of the other party's decision, because their minds are made up. You can't really change anything about it; too bad. If one is bent on hating and not liking someone, chances are they won't change too, so you just have to go with the flow as well.

A better question might be, who hasn't done that? Living in any society involves compromise. Only hermits need never compromise. But it's not necessary to fight every battle you run into. Age may bring the wisdom to know which battles to choose in order to have peace in your soul. The trick is, as usual in life, balancing. Extremes on either end of dealing with others are problematical. Some things you can, & should, let go, to get along. Others are bed-rock non-negotiable. Only you can be sure which is which, but choose wisely, or you'll find it hard to face your mirror. Rule of thumb to go by is ancient: "Moderation in all things." (Except of course, God...) Maggiepie "(Global warming is) the worst scientific scandal in history...When people come to know what the truth is, they will feel deceived by science & scientists." -- UN IPCC Japanese scientist Dr. Kiminori, award-winning PhD environmental physical chemist

hi ElicBxn oh yes I do it at times with my adult son, my' only child, when he is fussing at me about something that I really do not agree with. The odd thing is since his losing his job and our being separated so we each had a place to stay until he can get a job and accumulate money, he has seldom argued with me about stuff at all. Maybe absence does make the heart' grow fonder any way I like that a lot as I dont get to see him as much as I would like,.so its nice to get along peaceably with no friction just love.,great.

I guess that's a good way for u to be w/your brother but i couldn't be that way. i'm not going to do much of anything i don't want to do. I don't like people taking advantage of me.

There's an old saying that you might want to adopt: "Avoid loud and obnoxious people, for they are vexatious to the spirit." Although it may be often difficult to follow the above, here's one that I've found works quite well. "Tell them that they're right, and then immediately change the subject." Another idea that I sometimes use is...throw a commented "wammy" at them. By that I mean, say something that doesn't pertain to anything they're talking about. For example: If they continually bother you by going on and on about something you're not interested in listening to, then say something like this; "Yeah? Right. Pink elephants!" It will startle them into asking you: "What the heck did you mean by that?" You answer by saying; "Well...you were talking about everything else under the sun, but you never mentioned a THING about pink elephants; and, well, I just happen to like them." It will confuse them, basically cause them to forget what THEY were saying, or stop them from talking altogether. They'll more than likely shake their head, think that YOU'RE "nuts", and walk away. If you keep doing this often enough, and "fill in the blank" (pink elephants or whatever) they'll eventually leave you alone. cdrxo

hi hv done this many times .. even though we hv our concerns they still insist on us to follow what they want .. sometimes, i just leave it to them to see for themselves the outcome, so i just go ahead n follow their requst coz i am tired of arguing .. this happens most at my working place , i hv direct contact wt clients n know their needs but the maagement will normally come up with "not relevant" promotions, which at the end of the day does not give the result they expected .. but end of the day the blame comes bck to me for not being "capable" enough to convinve the people ..

No, I do not really have a friend like this. I would say this is more like my sister and I, only we do not fight. She just is very annoying to me sometimes.I hate the choices she has made in life, and she is nine years older than I am. I was pretty exhausted over the holidays and said some things to my brother about my frustration with her, and he did not scold me, but he told me that it hurt him to hear it. Our mom is no longer living, and my dad is her step dad, she never sees him. She makes bad choices, and always has, but once I heard my brother's perspective, I have tried to do better, and I am satisfied with being the kindest I know how to be, because when she is gone, I will have no more sisters. This kind of advice probably does not pertain to your situation, it just is the answer I have at the moment.

Only do it when me and daughter goto gamble if I think of one place she says another adn then I just say your driving!

Oh, yes. I believe it is always best to choose your battles. If there is no real value in disagreeing then I can go along. But if going along really is against what I believe in and value, I'd have to think long and hard about not doing what I believe. I think we are more likely to go along for someone else's sake than our own, to just "keep the peace" for someone else. If you always do it just to avoid conflict, though, maybe you need to look at what it is about conflict that you fear. Often really great solutions evolve out of conflict if you can do it without harming someone.

Hi, ElicBxn. I've done a lot of going along to get along in my life. I have a sister who is beyond stubborn and very outspoken. I just learned early in life that I had to choose my battle when it came to her. ..... and a whole lot of miles between us has made life a bit more pleasant for us both.

OH yeah, somebody comes on by and wants something, I say yes, and then I'm wondering "why did I do that?"

I don't have that problem much now that I'm retired. The nearest to it is with my husband. Sometimes I just ignore him when I don't agree with him.

I work in retail, so I do this a lot with customers. Unless it is something that is completely wrong, I kind of have an "Whatever" attitude.

Hi elicbxn i actually never did this to my family members but i did this to some of my friends. some of my friends are the type that when they talk, they tend to give arguments that you will think he is just playing around and not being serious. Well, i always listens to my friends opinions, ideas, or chats but when someone starts to brag and argue over something not important yet they still keep no arguing... I just said "whatever!!" or "Up to you!" we are still friends though. :D

Like you I avoid Arguments, I can't be asked with them and I say yes ok and think what I really think but I will not voice it because I can not be asked with the Arguments

Oh yes. I have been in this predicament many times. I try to be nice and be patient but I can only do it for so long. I tolerate it as long as possible to avoid the confrontation. When I get my fill, I explode though and then I am done with them. Tired of it.

Sure, okay... whatever.

yes,and no we're not still friends (their choice). it's picking your battles really.you get tired of the same shpiel and whatever is better than the continuous back and forth.

I understand what you mean! I am like that with my parents; they are so not on my planet that if I was to argue with them every time I don’t agree with them, life would be on constant argument! There are two ways of looking at it; if you go along with others too much without dispute you will end up a doormat or you can sometimes be the better person and not ‘sweat the small stuff’ and let things go instead of squabbling. Like everything else in life; it is a matter of balance.

I have done it before but usually only if it's something that I don't feel very strongly about in the first place. I like keeping the peace and if it's not a big deal..sometimes I will go along with things.