How would you react to this scenario...

this brings back a very sad chapter. i've been blind once. good thing i moved on already. 6 years ago, i reacted differently. but given this scenario today, my reaction will be way way different than i did back then. i realized no matter how much you would love each other, his heart will always be torn in two, his attention, his time, his priorities etc. for as long as the mother of his child is very much present in his life (single and still longing) it will never work out. he will always put his child first in everything he does. postponed visits, cancelled dates, forgotten occasions... all leading to neglect. you would want to trust his love, but whenever you know they are together as a family, there's a twisting pain inside. it wouldn't have mattered if it's only his child, but together with the child's mother (still very much in the picture)... no. i've been in this road once. and it's once too many. been blinded with love, been consumed with too much trust, been hurt, been burnt. i'll pass. no matter how much i like or come to love the guy... thank you but i'll pass.

Sorry to say this, laydee. But without a second thought, I would say it's cheating. Why? In the first place, why he didn't tell you about it right before he feels a person falling for him? Even he's going to marry that person, when they're together they seems they are couple, because probably they look like a complete family. I think the relationship that start with a lie will probably not prosper. Maybe we still have to take time to know this guy. Find time what else is he hiding. That's not impossible, because he did it once. Anyway, this is just an opinion, but it's the girl who knows this guy and must have the decision.

I would be shocked that he didn't tell me at first, but then again, a few weeks is hardly a whole lot of time to go without knowing. It could be years, which would be much much worse. But I think him using the reason "she's too old" would make me wonder why he was interested in ME (if I were your/whoever's shoes). Is that really a good reason not to marry someone? You'd think if anything, he might say something like "We're not in love" or something. *shrugs*. Seems a little funny. I would be cautious of that situation, and very wary..Because it seems like there's a lot more to this guy than we all think!

I think you really couldn't compete with the other family of your husband... well not really family cause they are not married but you can consider them as kind of "family". They have a child and the mother as you said is in love with your boyfriend. If i were in your shoes, I would find other guy. The situation is just very complicated. there is so much possibilities that your boyfriend will get hooked by the other girl. Or ask your boyfriend to marry you as soon as possible.

Hi Laydee! If I will be in that situation I would definitely end the relationship right away. In the first palce, if he is sincere with me he should have been honest. Second, if he is serious with me he should avoid having intimate relationship with the mother of her child. He can always visit his child. I would not deprived him of that right. However, it does not mean that he still should act as if he and the girl are still in a relationship. Now, if he cannot set a he mother limit or boundary between him and of his child then it would be better for him to stay away from me. I would never want to have anything to do with him ever again!

i would tell the other woman and break it off with the guy

Hi Laydee, If i am in your situation, if i am not in love with him badly, just enjoying being with him, i will be fine for a while, but i will definitely leave that man. It's easy to understand, he HAS a FAMILY! He has a kid, and a wife! Although he might not admit that, but the blood relationship between the son and the father will always be there. If you insist to be together and move forward, you have to perpare for a long, tough journey! Good luck!

Your boyfriend lied to you. That's a negative point. If he really has good intentions in having a relationship with you he should have told you earlier about his child. Honesty plays a big role in one's relationship to be successful. Since your boyfriend did not tell you the truth earlier, you never know what's really going on between him and the mother of the child. So keep distance first as you might be ruining their family bond. If he tells you that its you that he wants to marry, do not believe him yet. He might be telling you that so he can keep you. Trust me.. some guys really do that to keep their girls with them. =)

i think from the very beginning i will confront him to tall me if he is married i want to clear up from the very beginning.and i know that he is married then i wont continue our relationship even i like him but since it is wrong i think it should be stop as early as i can do to prevent pain and so on.

de ja vu...

really it is a bad situvation i think the man nerver wants to leave the wife or the girlfriend he will be using same technic .here bothwill be affected the has nothing to lose he will have false life with nboth of them better to avoid the man and find a better partner

Boy is that the worst position you could find yourself in. It is for you to decide what to do. However, personally I feel you should get out of that relationship before you can say Nicholas Nickelby. I

Relationship are more important than marrying someone. It is not an issue as to what that man feels about some other lady in his life,rather what matters of utmost concern is that he has been in relationship and is with a child .He should have concern for the baby and the motherly love that baby needs for the overall development. If the person has no feeling to this situation he can never feel for what you are in the midst of. Better keep thy safe from the eyes of him.

Ouch, sorry for the pain and problems this is sure to be causing you. On the one side it's a good thing he's involved with his child, but, if the relationship with the X is more than just co-parenting I'd be out of that relationship fast! Hopefully you don't have to much invested in the relationship if you decide to leave. best of luck to you, btw, yep, I've been there before too.

If you don't mind being the other woman then stay in the relationship. If you do, get the heck out. Its far worse to have somebody thinking they are pulling one over on somebody else and using you in the process. I would run tail the other way because it won't look favorable on you as the one who is hindering the other woman's life.

hello laydee, Well,if you may ask my opinion,i think the guy is not sincere enough for his feelings towards her present gf. In the first place...if he really loves her,he should have confess that,he has a child from his past. A child is not a big deal in a relationship...it's a matter of trust. If this guy denied his own kid,can he be truthful once in his life?...what more with his feelings? He can say "i love you "to every women he court,and will court someday(if given chance) Ok,granting that,he needs to lie to his gf becoz,the girl might get confused or neglect him if she found that he had a kid from his past. But,at least,when they start their relationship...he can slowly tell his gf about his son.(i am sure the girl will understand and maybe will admire him for being honest). So,..if i have to rate this guy...(still seeing the mother of his son)..he is just pulling everyone noses. Taking advantage to both women. Have a good day always(it's just my opinion dear)