is breaking up really hard to do?
@camilletherese (151)
Philippines
January 27, 2010 6:17am CST
i broke up with my ex about two months ago because of "irreconcilable differences" (i know it sound a bit too legal for my taste, but that whats i like calling the reason for our imminent break-up..) i did the breaking up and we both agreed that we would actually be better off as friends (well, it was more like me pushing the idea of being friends on him, to which he eventually agreed with)...we've been doing the "being friends" thing for about a month now and just as it seems as if it would all be okay, he starts to ask if we still have a chance of getting back together to which i usually reply to by skipping to another topic or just letting the question hang until we find other things to talk about...is it mean for me to stay friends with him if he still wants more than that but i just can't give him more than just being his friend? i like the way things are now and i don't want things to change...is it wrong to think that if he goes on trying to change what we have now, i might just distance myself from him or just cut all ties with him permanently? decisions, decisions, decisions...
3 responses
@laura_lmaxi (678)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Breaking up is always extremely hard, for both persons, for the one who breaks up and for the other person also, because you are close to the other person, in my case I always prefer to cut all types of ties permanently, because if you don't, there is not enough closure for both persons.
@brymel25 (285)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
Indeed breaking up is hard and nobody wants to experience the pain that it brings. But sometimes, it tends to be unavoidable especially if you have those what you call "irreconcilable differences". For a relationship to last, it must be a give and take relationship. It must be a 50-50 situation, meaning you both have the equal right to decide on things. One must also learn to meet the other one halfway. Pride is sometimes the main culprit why lovers break up. If the person isn't willing to meet you halfway or doesn't take time to understand you and your sentiments, then its right to stay as friends.
But in case he is very willing to compromise and patch things up, then there's nothing wrong in giving love a second chance. If you still love one another, then try to give it another shot. Besides, it is said that "Love is lovelier the second time around." But if you have already made up your mind to just remain as friends, then he should be man enough to accept it and try to tell him about your decision in a way that he won't be too devastated. Reassure him that even when you are not together anymore, he can still count on you to be there as his friend whenever he needs someone to lean on to.=)
@DenverLC (1143)
• Philippines
27 Jan 10
Breaking up is one of the hardest thing to do, because it only means you are parting ways with one special or dear to you. It is really hard to do so, if you don't have the right and serious reasons, just like you feel you dont love her or him anymore. This reason is the most valid one, since it is useless pro-longing a relationship that will only consume both of your time and effort. If you know well that the relationship will not last long, then no feeling of guilt shall arise after the break up.
For individual or shall we say personalty differences, it can really affect any relationship. It will complicate things, later on, the love will turn into anger and hatred heated by individual pride. To cut the relationship earlier, for both peace of mind is an ideal way.
