Am I over reacting? Children should not be put in this situation, I think.
By Margajoe
@Margajoe (4747)
Germany
January 27, 2010 10:55am CST
I just got into an argument with my BF.
He has a son , that is 12 years old. For his age also very smart.
My BF sister, has a daughter. She is about the same age, maybe one year older.
Anyway, this weekend we are going to my BF parents house.
The children will be there too. We are sleeping there.
My BF says the children can sleep in the little room.
Excuse me, maybe I am stupid, but these kids are no babies anymore.
You can't let them sleep in the same little room.
In the Netherlands it is not even aloud. (As brother and sister even)
His son is not stupid, I take it he won't do anything, but a kid should not be put in that situation.
Tell me please, am I being to sensible with this, am I over reacting when I say children of that age, boy and girl, should not sleep together?
2 people like this
14 responses
@everwonderwhy (7365)
•
16 Nov
Most often, a woman's ethical and moral instinct is to be heeded. Better safe than regret it later.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
I hope you are right.
But, kids now a days are far more advanced.
There are lots of 12 year old pregnancy's. Are these still children?
I am a very realistic person, the news and the law say enough.
In the Netherlands they can take your children away from you if they find out a sister and brother are sleeping in the same room.
That law was not made for nothing.
I take it, nothing will happen, I just don't feel children should be put in this situation. The boy wakes up with a big one, how embarrassing towards the cousin.
It is just not right some how.
Thank-you.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
28 Jan 10
i agree with you 100% kids there days are much smarter then when we were that age. i think if you feel strong about this then stand by what you belive.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
I take it nothing drastic is going to happen, but still it does not feel right to me.
Kids are more curious in these days. You hear all kinds of weird things.
Most think I am over reacting, but I think I am also very realistic.
Family or not, it can also be a very embarrassing situation for the children.
The boy wakes up with a big one, that is normal. When she sees it? How embarrassing.
My BF does not see it that way. They are not my children, I can only tell them how I feel about it. Know I am the stupid one in the family. Oh well...
Thank-you.
@kaitlyn_r1 (42)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I don't think you're over reacting, it's not right. Children the same age, especially at that age, should not be put together in the same room. Now on the other hand if that's the only sense of space that you have left then one can sleep on the floor or the couch in his parents house. There are other ways of getting around that, and you can find that out when you get there. I don't know what his parent's house is like, and I don't know how much space they have, but I do know that there are other ways in solving this situation. Compromise with your Bf, and ask him what other ways you can go about with this situation. Like I said, one could sleep on the couch, or even the floor of the room. It's not like there's nothing else you can do. If you're really all that upset about it then just get a hotel, that will be a more easy way of getting around this. Let the kids have their own room and you can be happy knowing they are alright. Just talk to him about it, and listen to what he has to say about it, and make sure he listens to what you have to say without another argument.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
Thank-you, but that won't help.
These kids have often slept in the same room, the same bed.
There was no problems, and I don't think there will be real problems.
But, I just don't think that kids should be put in this situation.
They have gotten too old to be sleeping in the same bed.
It is not good.
But the family does not see it that way, and I am the stupid one.
These kids are not mine, so I really don't have anything to say about it.
I just don't like the situation.
Hopefully my BF mother got her grandson a separate room. At least a separate bed.
My BF suggested they sleep in the same room, he say's they are family, nothing wrong with that.
I say family or not they are still boy and girl in a curious age.
But, who am I?
Thank-you.
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I think it is a matter of the relationship they have. I have no issue with family members (Brother/sister) sleeping in the same room or even the same bed. If the kids have been raise like family and there has never been any reason to think that they see each other in any other light then I think you may be over reacting. Now if they are overly friendly in any way then no you wouldn't be.
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
I think biologically speaking, it is not right to put children in that situation.
The boy wakes up with a big one, How is he going to feel when she sees this.
That could be so embarrassing.
In Holland it is the Law that a boy can not sleep in the same room as his sister.
They have to have separate rooms. It is Law. They don't make those laws for nothing.
It just does not feel right.
Thank-you.
@mlno054321 (212)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
you are over reacting. because your BF said that they can sleep together so they can . what is the problem of that if they can sleep together in the same room. maybe you are so malicious person. negative thingking, and also greenminded person. be positive thinking to the children so your BF will loves you better.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
You could be right, Maybe I am over reacting.
I take it they won't do anything, though even cousins have been together.
Actually even brother and sister have been know to have tried, because children are curious.
I just find it sad that when this boy wakes up with a stiff one, he will be embarrassed. That brings children in a strange situation.
I mean be honest, boys need there privacy. All men wake up with a stiff. (That is biologically normal.)
He should not be put in that situation.
I am not thinking negative, more I am thinking realistic.
My BF loves me anyway, no problem.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I think your BF is being very naive. These days 12 year olds are becoming se+ually active. They aren't going to stop and think about the act that they are cousins if they want to do something. Kids that age should not be put in a situation that is tempting. at the same time if they want to do something they will find a away but why make it easy for them. I certainly wouldn't allow my kids to sleep in the same room even brother and sister.
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
Exactly, I don't like the idea either.
Though it is strange that so many people find it perfectly normal.
Just because you are family, that means nothing in these days.
I have heard a lot of weird things in my life.
I just rather be safe than sorry.
Thank-you.
@Ravenladyj (22902)
• United States
27 Jan 10
I'm sorry but I definately think you are overreacting...My kids are 16 (son) and 14 1/2 (daughter) and sometimes they still bunk in the same room and if we are visiting their cousins (who are all teens ranging in age from 13 to 19) or whatever they all crash in the same room..their FAMILY for crying out loud..they all know about space and respect so i dont see what the issue is..
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
27 Jan 10
In other words,the two kids were cousins.
I don't see any wrong with them sleeping together.
Ok,they are not kids anymore,but they are cousins,almost of brother and sister relationship.
I won't think any bad with those kids...i know there were instances that,even with blood relation some kids/people can do immoral things.
But,if these kids are not showing any signs(immorality)i think it's fine.
It all depend upon your observation.
Have a nice day always
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
Yes you are right. I just worry too much.
I think for the boy it would be embarrassing when his cousin
sees him with a stiff one.(Biologically natural.)
Boys that age wake up that way, they can't help it.
All men have that.
I have heard weird things in my life.
That is why the law was made.
I take it nothing will happen, but it just does not feel right.
Oh well, my boy friend says there is nothing wrong.
Thank-you.
@myramae19 (667)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
Yes, I agree with you, although they are cousins but now a days kids are being curious of everything.It makes their mind active, observant of new ideas, open up new worlds and possibilities, brings excitements in life.Curious people always ask questions and search for the answers in their minds.
why the father didn't come to think about it?anyway, You did the right thing teenager shouldn't be sleep in one room, no one knows whats in their mind.
Happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
I agree, thank-you.
My BF was not active early in life, thats why he thinks his son won't be either.
I just don't like the situation.
The boy wakes up with a big one, he will be embarrassed towards his cousin.
Children should not be put in such a situation.
I don't think something will happen, it just does not feel right.
Know a days anything is possible.
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
That is my fear too.
But, most people say it is normal.
I could be over reacting, I don't think anything will happen.
But, I a more for preventing than fixing a problem.
Children that age are often curious , that in itself is normal.
It just does not feel right.
@wickedlove (326)
• United States
27 Jan 10
I think it is fine. I have slept in rooms with my cousins that are boys when I have traveled places. There family. It is not like putting a 12 year old in a room with a stripper. Now that would be an issue. For a night or two, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. For sharing a room, then it should.
Also are they sleeping in the same bed? That could be a little weird. I wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed as one of my cousins but a same room is no problem.
1 person likes this
@StaciLyn1988 (101)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Me and my cousin were like brother and sister growing up when he would sleep over he would sleep in my room with me so I don't really see anything wrong with it, in the same bed would be a little strange.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4747)
• Germany
28 Jan 10
It is not really wrong. But it can bring embarrassing situations.
The boy wakes up with a hard one. He would be embarrassed.
The girl may already have her monthly, that could be embarrassing.
Children should not be put in this situation.
I don't say something will happen all the time, but things have happened, even in families. It is better to prevent it than to fix it.
In the Netherlands it is law that boys and girls, brother and sister have there own room.
There must be a reason for this law.
They can even take your children away for this.
In your situation, you are one of the normal children. You had no problems with it.
That is great.
But there are other children that have had different experiences.
That is sad.
Thank-you.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
2 Apr 10
Well i dont find it anything wrong on you. You are little cautious of these acts as there are problems which may happen. You over look at it and try to be precautious. Thats really good and responsible.