Why are you not married?!
@messageme (2821)
United States
January 27, 2010 3:37pm CST
I came across a disscussion that had nothing to do with marriage but about who we are and it got me to thinking about marriage.
I am 27 and have never been married. Of course, I have always wanted to get married, but never have found the right person. Was engaged once but I called it off because I didn't have that fairytale feeling of excitment. I wanted everything to be wonderful and it just wasn't there for me...Needless to say I'm so thankful I called it off. It would have been horrible!!
I also believe I am some what old fashion and don't believe many view marriage as I do anymore. I truely believe it is a lifetime commitment. I don't believe in divorice. Too many people use that as a way out of every little thing. Relationships should be communication, love and commitment. How can you be married if you don't have any of that? Seems people now days get into a fight and head for divorice right away without trying to work out their differences. And the biggest thing of all is Loyalty and Honesty...Does no one believe in that anymore? Seems they don't care whether they are married or not they go out and sleep with whoever they want. Honesty....If you can't tell your spouse everything then why be with them. Your spouse should be your best friend....
Your probably all thinking I will never get married if thats how I believe things should be huh 
Are you married? Have you ever been? If so are you still, if not why? Do you think you will ever marry? Tell me your views on marriage...
Are you married? Have you ever been? If so are you still, if not why? Do you think you will ever marry? Tell me your views on marriage...2 people like this
20 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
27 Jan 10
NO, I am not married. Yes, i HAVE BEEN TWICE , i HAVE BEEN DIVORCED FOR OVER 30 YEARS. nO, I WILL NEVER MARRY AGAIN. Marriage is great when things are going well & awful when they are not. I hope u find someone worthy of u. Don't settle for less than that.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
My boyfriend thinks I'm living in a dream world when I think there can be a perfect relationship. BUt thats' why I say I more old fashion in that area of life.
1 person likes this
@miranda521 (427)
• China
29 Jan 10
I am single but has a boy friend for almost three years~
I just need a little more time to enjoy the single life!
absolutely,he is the best choice of a husband,I love him~
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
29 Jan 10
Well technically your not living a single life if your with someone, but I think I know what you mean. Thanks for responding!
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
28 Jan 10
Yes messageme.I am a married woman and have been happily married for the past 31 years.Mine is an arranged marriage.About my views on marriage--
I have also written an article on how diametriaclly opposite partners can make a success of marriage.
It is a big gamble.Only God should guide the people involved to make sacrifices, have increased tolerance levels , allow personal space and adopt a "live and let live' policy.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
29 Jan 10
This differes from couple to couple messageme.As far as I am concerned we are opposite in every way.It is all good to say thta opposites attract but this is not so so as we grow older ;here we do need to have some compatibility.Luckily, as I am of a traditional upbringing where the natural authority is unquestioningly assigned to the husband, I have not had too many problems.My husband also believes that things worked out because I am a contented type and I followed his kind of thinking and shared some fundamental value system without arguing, nagging and giving him problems.I also cultivated an inteerst in his passions like music and financial markets and related to him in that way.He has given me free space to pursue my desires was always fair and I used to live within my means.This sharing of fundamental value system and cooperation makes a marriage successful and happy.In all our arranged matrriage systems there is a compulsion to stay together[at least in our times it was]and people try and develop some understanding and dependability.It was also a societal pressure.
Nowadays things are different and there is a decrease in tolerance levels.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Thanks for the response. I have always wondered about arrange marriages and if the people were really happy with each other or not. Do you learn to love them after you are married? Or do you just know you have to be married to them so you just accept it but still live your own little life different from his.
1 person likes this
@MrKennedy (1978)
•
28 Jan 10
I guess it's because I have not met "the right one" yet. I'm cautious with marriage because I don't want to become yet another statistic for the ridiculously high divorce rate
Plus, I enjoy being a free man. I'm still young, so I'll just try to enjoy it whilst I can and settle down later
Plus, I enjoy being a free man. I'm still young, so I'll just try to enjoy it whilst I can and settle down later1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I hear ya on the statistics thing!! Thanks for the response!
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Convince her? Convince her of what? It should be something you both dream of not something you have to convice someone your right for them....
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
There are 3 girls and 1 boy in my family and our older sister who's already 36 years old isn't married. My second sister got married 10 years ago and my younger brother married married the other year and I got married 9 months ago. Most of the time, people would always ask why my sister isn't married when she is infact the eldest but I just think that the right man for him hasn't arrived yet or not even born yet..=D Marriage is really important and choosing the person whom you're going to spend the rest of your life with is the most important decision that you will make in your entire life. I dont believe in soul mates and that a successful marriage has something to do with marrying the right person to make the marriage right but it is actually more of a choice. Everything that you would want to happen in your life, in your marriage has something to do with the choices that you make and how you and your husband is gonna make everything work out.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I agree with you I don't believe there is such thing as soul mates either. Everything in life is based on descisions you make. Even ten yrs down the road things could go great or things could turn bad, but it is all based on dicsions you make as a family.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I never have ben married and never will.I'm 47 and if I can't find Mr Perfect I will never date again! I have had relationshps over the years and been in love. I figured society and my family would want me to get marry. That went out the door thanks to 2 really horrible realtionships! I get used without realizing or I would let myself get used. I am a gullible person and other people can sense this. I can't and won't take the chance agian. I'm to old for this and I know what is good for me but don't have the patience either. The guy has to be perfect or it will never work. I always attack the losers and idiots! It sucks but this is the way life goes!
@messageme (2821)
• United States
29 Jan 10
That's why I say if the relationship I'm in now don't work I'm done. I have had my fair share of horrible relationships as well. With having kids I don't want to be bringing men in and out of their lives that is not helthy for them. I haven't done that yet and I won't! My relationship almost ended this past summer and all I could think was Im too old for this. LOL. There is nothing wrong with being gullible we just have to watch out for ourselves even more.
@fantasticbabe (981)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
i have nit yet found the right man for me or in reverse position he still not found me either. so it is like a carnival full of twist and surprises. i need to explore and discover. sometimes to find it as it really would not come to me unless i move.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Sometimes thats the way it is. I wonder sometimes what my life would be like right now if I had not moved from where I was. Probly no good.
@mlno054321 (212)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
im not because. i am only 20 years of age as of now . i don't have a plan for married yet. i am focusing on my business. how to make money that is my priority , besides i am a college student , i want to finished my college degree to had a better life after that i will plan for married.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Good for you! I hope you keep those plans and don't let no one get in the way of them. Good Luck to you!
@mcdreamy25 (74)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
i have never been married, i am 27 years old too.. i have a boyfriend, we are planning to get married but as of now it's a pending case, we've been together for almost 4 years now.. if it comes to the point of getting married i want it to be perfect, i am not the oldest in the family who is not married, i only have one sibling who is married and happy about it, they have 2 cute and adorable kids now, i wish i have the same family life they have right now.. but i am not jumping on the ship of marriage right away.. i am still testing the waters if its right for me to soak in and get refreshed or jump to quickly and get drowned..hopefully i will be a nice wife to my future husband.. hope we'll have that in the future.. only fools rush in as they say.. hehehe..marriage is a big responsibility..
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
We already have the kids so I can't really say just two...we have 6 between the both of us...We have had our ups and downs and concord many HARD quests! I think all we have been through we should be ready, but there is still that part of me that questions does he really see it the way I do? Is it a lifetime thing for him as well? He has been married before so Im thinking he don't take it like I do. We have had that discussion as well and he just keeps saying he married his first wife for all the wrong reasons....she got pregnant so he thought that was the best thing to do. But I am still skeptical.
Thanks for the response
@bnx2212 (712)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
I'm 40 and still single. I love the life I have now, No complications, no obligations and no excess baggage.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
As wonderful as it sounds, because it does....Don't it ever get lonely? It's human nature to feel lonely when your not with someone.
@rouie88 (6)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
as i get older, i have decided not to ever marry. why? because i just find that having another person to take care for would also mean another responsibility!
i am very happy having my family and friends around so i find it weird why would i need another human whose role should fill is basically a companion?
i do not want having another person sleep beside me nor would i want to tell someone whatever i have to do or what i think just because i am suppose to.
i am not cynical or anything, but all my friends are hoping i changed my mind. LOL!
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
There are some times I do enjoy being able to have the bed to myself LOL. I don't think I would like it all the time though, but then again if that is what I was use to I wouldn't ever want someone in there. Thanks for your response I is neat seeing peoples preference on things.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
29 Jan 10
That's good that you don't if you know yourself you are not emotionally ready because that would only hurt the one your with if you did it just because and ignore your own feelings and emotions. Thanks for responding!
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I'm not married yet either, but I wish I would have establish business before I had kids so I already feel settled and am ready for that right one.
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
at 31 im not yet married too, i also believe once u get married ur partner should be ur last. i just havent found the right guy too. but in all fairness to those people who get married and later on went into divorce for sure they undergo into a really serious problem before jumping into that decision. im sure its not an easy decision they are making coz for sure they too think that when they get married it was for a lifetime already but things in reality is different. we should not judge them right away for sure they have their own personal reason why it happen. i really felt sad each time i heard couples separate coz they cant fixed their problem im more sad when theres children involved coz for sure they are the one most affected by it. i still believe i will get married soon if god permits..lol..happy mylotting....
@chantalgiardina (2523)
• United States
28 Jan 10
Im 21,almost 22 and my 1 year anniversary is coming up. At times i wish i would have waited. We had problems way before we got married, so at times i think we should have waited. But so far we have made it through everthing. I dont believe in marriage in a way but also in a wa if two people cant make it and be happy together i dont think they should be miserable and stay together, but then maybe they shouldnt have gotten married in the first place. I guess everyone makes mistakes and we all have to learn from the mistakes we do make. Everything happens for a reason.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I don't think two people should be in a relationship either if they are miserable, but then why are they miserable? It seems no one even tries to work out problems or communicate anymore they just jump to divorice. Why is it in the old days no one ever got a divorice. It was considered a sin then but people seemed to be happy still and always work together.
@geogirl85 (116)
• United States
27 Jan 10
I'm 24, and have never been married, but I would like to be someday. I also don't believe in divorce, mostly because my parents got divorced. I am pretty introverted, so I don't really date that much, but all I know so far is that the guys I've gone out with were definitely not 'the one', and I think it's worth the wait to avoid spending the rest of my life with the wrong guy.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I agree with you 100% the wait will definitely be worth it! Thanks for the response.
@yezhanjun043 (100)
• China
28 Jan 10
So I do not wish to get married early,because he got married so searly too feel free.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
To feel free as in from his parents? Because with marriage some people see that as being trapped not free.
@varron (453)
• Philippines
28 Jan 10
I am not yet get married.I am now 28 years old and still I have no plan to get married. I am taking studies now for the second time, and I planned to get married if things goes right, that I will become financially stable and can support and raise a family.For the moment I don't have my girlfriend but i will have it soon if I,m ready.
Marriage is a thing that is worth to be forever.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I do have kids and a decsion like that would kind of be like the decsion of marriage for you...I wish I would have waited longer. Can't turn back on that so I don't believe people should be able to turn back on marriage. It is something you chose to do you should have to stick with it. you can't divorice you kids because you did it too early then you shouldn't be able to get a divorice because you got married to early or because you chose the wrong one. Thanks for your imput.
@tinazhou (12)
• China
28 Jan 10
what I can say that we are the same people.I always believe in that I will meet my MR.right,maybe it's very late,but I can wait.The reason why I keep this kind of wired thinking may be I watch a lot of romantic movie,so I just like stupid girl thinking about the whole romanitc things.although the waiting is hard ,but I enjoying the single life right now,I just do belive that we will meet each other.of course ,waiting is not just waiting ,i could also will fight for my love thing.
at last,best wishes for the love person all over the world.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
28 Jan 10
I think that is why I have not rushed into myself either. I would rather wait for mr. right than to get into something I don't like and I'm not for divorice. I also want to whole romantic movie thing too. My fairytale is what he calls it. I guess if someone can't provide that for me and make me happy the rest of my life then they are not worth my time. Thanks for your response. If you don't look for it, it will find you
