How did a move effect your child(ren)?
By magrylouyu
@magrylouyu (1627)
United States
January 28, 2010 8:41pm CST
My husband, myself and our 4 children are going to be moving back to Connecticut. I have heard alot of people tell me that my children are young they will bounce back. I have also been told that it shouldnt effect them because they are so young. I think my 6 year old daughter is having a tough time right now. We are going to be moving in 5 days. She never used to have many accidents at night, she was lucky to wet the bed maybe once every 3 or more months. Now she is having an accident just about 5 days a week sometime more or less. I think this is a big change for her. I had it rough when she was younger and I admit I did move her way to many times. We have now been in our current apartment for 18 months. This is the longest we have been in one place. I'm afraid of what other "changes" might come from my children. Expessially with the whole going to another school and having to make new friends. My middle daughter is in preschool, my oldest daughter in Kindergarden and my stepson in 1st grade. What was it like for your children when you moved and how did they react? Did they make friends quickly?
3 responses
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
29 Jan 10
My own experience when I was a child was horrible. I didn't have any friends. I was suffering from anxiety , had trouble falling asleep at night, didn't feel like eating much. I lost weight and all I did was cry whenever I got the chance to hide my self. Now that's my experience that I would never ever want my kid to experience as a child. But I guess children grow and experience things differently. If I really have to move, I guess I'd like to make sure it's very much okay with my child.
@magrylouyu (1627)
• United States
29 Jan 10
I wish I could just "clear" this through my children. It would make this thing a whole bunch easier. I just cant do that. We are moving back in with my parents. My mom is getting sick and going downhill and cant do anything with her hands anymore. My dad works to much to help out with what she needs done. I dont even really want to go but it's my mom, I cant just turn her down and be greedy, ya know? I just cant do that. I am so young and having to take care of my parents already doesnt seem right in my books. I just hope my children dont experience anything that bad.... :(
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
29 Jan 10
that's a harsh situation. Of course your mother is just as important as everyone else is in the family - I think it would really help that you just keep talking about it, (even if the kids don't like listening to it at all) , and just make them feel that you're there for them. My parents have always been emotionally absent, and that made it so much worse because no one ever knew about the crying and that's the time when I needed my closest people the most. Make your kids feel that you understand them. that's important
@miravu (100)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I don't have kids, but I've moved more than 20 times (and I'm only 29!).
It sounds like your situation is a little more involved than just moving. If she has anxiety about a family issue or doesn't feel secure, that might be impacting her view of the move more than the move itself.
One thing that I think my Mom did really well when I was young and we were always moving was that she never let me know that she was nervous about it. She tried to make it more like an adventure, and even when she was clueless and we were taking a step down, she made us feel like it was controlled and positive.
As far as school goes, I wouldn't worry so much about them being able to fit in. Kids are moving in and out of classes until the 2nd or 3rd grade. Even if your kids feel the "new kid" sting for the rest of this school year, by next year, no one will notice.
You certainly have a very difficult situation. I wish you and your family the best of luck!
@chainzain (15)
• United States
29 Jan 10
I want to try to give you this in the perspective of a 15 year old (me). I have been moving for as long as i can remember, from country to country, from continent to continent, from state to state, and now from city to city. It has been hard making friends every single year i move but i just learned to suck it up. I would much rather not deal with all the moving but there's really nothing i could do. So all in all i wouldnt say i grew up a psychopath, so im not really emotionally disturbed by it. Although i must say the bed wetting is weird, i do not recall wetting my bed around that age neither do my parents.
