Would you be offended if...

I wouldn't get offended, especially if I knew that he liked me and that we had a lot in common and always had fun together. It might be that he was just keeping things light-hearted instead of getting all serious with his brother. That is probably just the relationship that they have and has absolutely nothing to do with you or how he feels about you. Often times guys do not want to talk about their feelings with other guys, especially not members of their family, because family members often tease each other. Instead of making a big deal out of the situation and giving his brother something to tease him about, he just kept it simple. I am sorry that it hurt you, and you should definitely talk with him about it. I would not take it too personally, though, especially since he really was trying to give you a compliment. Also, try to keep in mind that it might just be something that would save him embarrassment rather than a reflection of his true feelings about you.

Hi...dedgurl Take it cool. I thingk you are reading the usage in a different way.That is his way of saying. You should have called him and settled the matter later instead of complaining about the silly matter. Happy mylotting

Hi there! You are right in thinking that remarks of your boy friend were not in good taste and uncalled for. He should have respected your sentiments and dignity, you can warn him to be careful in future. You can also tell that he has no business to hurt you.

As someone who has been judged on my looks most of my life I do understand where you are coming from. I found out a couple of times that I got two different jobs because of my looks and it did offend me. Because I really was qualified and did not need my looks to get me a job. I do understand why you were offended because you had, had many wise conversations with him and you wanted him to see you as more than just a pretty face but also as a smart woman. I would not be too hard on him though, that was probably just the first thing that came to his mind and he was probably trying to compliment you. It does not mean that he does not think you are bright and a joy to talk to as well. After all "Hot" could certainly be a total package.

i dont think i would be upset with that. there are a million possible reasons why he may have said that.he may have just said that to shut his brother up or maybe that's how they talk with each other.. "hot" has also become a household term already. a girl can be described as hot and can mean not only her looks but also as "the best among the rest", "the nicest person to hang out with" or "better/cooler than others"//basically better than other girls.. I mean, i would have been more upset if he directly said i were "pretty" because it is obviously because of how i look (but still he may have been joking and maybe just said it to shut his brother up)..

If this has happened to me I woud take this as a compliment. Did you ask him what he meant by the word "hot"? I would tell you one thing. I have a lot of guy friends. My best friend is also a guy. Usually when they would tell me that they like this girl because she is hot they don't only mean that she is hot because of her looks. My guy bestfriend once told me she would really love to court one of the girls in their class. He said the girl was hot. He told me that the girl is cute, smart and good in playing piano. He evn told me that the girl is conservative. My best frined does not like aggressive girls. He likes her girl to be meek and silent type. He does not get attracted also to girls showing their skin. She prefers her girl in jeans, without make- up and just wearing a simple blouse. So I guess you have to ask him what he meant by "hot". One of my brods describes an athletic girl usually good in tennis as hot. :)

Well I would be mildly offended because the statement that he made to his brother would be offensive to a girl or woman who thinks of her relationship as more then just a physical attraction, also if she wants the guy she likes to view her the same. but as long as you understand his reasons for saying what he said, he was trying to play the relationship down so his brother would not make fun of him so as long as your sure of the guys true feelings you shouldn't let what he said to his brother bother you to much. but if it really bothers you maybe you should consider asking your new guy friend why he said that dont make the conversation to heavy just ask and see what his responds is I'm no relationship expert but I think its always best to be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings just talk about things.

He paid you a compliment, and you're offended by this? *headdeskfacepalm* No offense, but this is exactly the reason that a lot of guys are afraid to say anything to a woman. As a result,women demand to know why their significant others never say anything nice to them! To answer your question, NO! I would not be offended by this. With all due respect, you need to stop looking for things to be insulted by, because this shouldn't be one of them.

Hello Dedgurlsingstheblus! I know and understand why you feel upset. Of course, us girls would want to hear reasons like "you have the same views... you have lots in common..." However, maybe he is not that vocal or shy to express his real feelings or thoughts towards you to his brother... I know that he wasn't really his intention to offend you in anyways... I think you should try to be more understanding and don't mind his comment that much if you want your friendship to continue... He just choosen a not so good reasoning... Try to know him more and see if you really like his personality or not.

I probably wouldn't be offended by this, but then again I'm not a girl. But from a guys perspective I think he was, as you said, just trying to shut his brother up. He probably didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure you do have a lot in common, enjoy each others company, and hey he really may also find you attractive. I don't think that is so bad. Is it?

I know I would be greatly so. I don't think woman should be judged based soully on their looks, but apparently the rest of the world seems to think so. I'm one of those who takes care of me, for me, and don't do it to please someone else. However, if a person was talking to me because they liked how I looked, I would instently think they were trying to get in my pants and by being nice to me it would help them acomplish that goal much faster.

yes i would be offended in that situation. because he didn't give me some respect although i give him a respect and me he didn't give respect on what he told on her brother.

maybe it is only the speaking style, it doesn't means that he is a bad guy. but if you cannot abide it, I think you should consider it again. good luck

I have 2 brothers so trust me on this one. Men are observers, they appreciate most the looks of a woman. And when they actually spend time with a woman just for the sake of fun and getting to know her they are kind of embarrassed from it. Why? Because they almost never share stuff like " she knows me" or "she sees my soul". These lines will never make them heroes or cool at all, so that;s why they say " hey ,man that chick is super hot!!!" oonly because they want to look cool in front of their friends and because they want their friends to like you. If this guy told his brother that he had met the most amazing girl that is smart, sophisticated, interesting and actually very hot, his brother would laugh and tell him to man up. So don't get upset, you obviously like him don't blow your connection!

I wouldnt have gotten upset about it..in fact I would have laughed about it...Partly because its a compliment and partly because I know guys are just like that..To me it wouldnt be a big deal at all...

Some guys are not gifted at saying the right things. Actions by them mean more than their words. Often a guy says something he thinks is cool to impress his brother. It might upset his girlfriend and he might not understand why because he is not an emotional person. I would take the word 'hot' as a compliment. I know he probably appreciates your personality but doesn't mention it. It is lovely that you are pretty and you are noted for your intelligence as well.

i think he was just being tactless - this is probably the way he talks with his brother and probably he didn't mean for you to think that your looks were all that he was interested in. have you talked to him since about how you felt? he might not have any idea that his careless comment wasn't taken as a compliment.