Ladies what you do?
@messageme (2821)
United States
January 29, 2010 3:13pm CST
Put yourself in this situation and tell me what you would do.
YOu have kids and they are all boys. You desperatly want a little girl, really, really badly want a girl. With each one of your kids...let's say 3 you had c-sections. On the last c-section they cut you the opposite way on your uterus so your scares form a t. Doc, which you don't like, says you can't have no kids because where the scares cross it can be weak and if you stretch it with another pregnancy you have the risk of it splitting open. Your not interested in adopting a little girl. WOuld you take the chance to have another?
I'm seriously thinking about it but it also scares me to do so. I feel the doc purposly put the cut that way just to have another reason not to have no more kids because of my blood clots. I don't think it was his right to do so. I know some people that have had many c-sections and they never had to be cut a different way because of tissue. Just let me know if you would take the risk or just forget about it. THANKS!
4 people like this
11 responses
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
29 Jan 10
Have you tried getting a second opinion? That does seem weird that they would have to cut it the other way. I don't know how being cut both ways would make it weaker. I probably would get a second opinion first. If another doctor said it would split open I guess I would consider the risks and how badly I wanted a girl. If the risks were only to me, and none to the baby I probably would risk it as long as one of the risk wasn't me dying. I wouldn't want to leave my kids without a mother. If there was a risk to the baby then I probably wouldn't risk it.
2 people like this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
31 Jan 10
Hi messageme. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't want to do it. It just sounds too risky, not to mention dangerous, to me.
Ironically enough I do have kids and both are boys. I didn't have C-sections with either of them though. But if I did and the same thing that had happened to you happen to me I wouldn't want to get pregnant again knowing there is a possibility of the area splitting open.
So adoption is out of the question, huh? What about a surrogate mother? Keep in mind that if you do happen to get pregnant again and everything goes well, that you still may wind up with another boy. Same goes with using a surrogate mother. Knowing how much you want a little girl, would you be okay with the idea of another boy?
Just giving you something to think about...
Good luck, whatever you decide.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
2 Feb 10
I'm pretty sure that it is.
Just because a child is yours doesn't mean it'll make it any better. My own mother raised two daughters of her own and when my sister was a teenager she broke off all communication with our mom (as well as myself) after they had a falling out. Up until that point they had been really close too. Now my sister wants nothing to do with her. It's been like that for almost 20 years now.
As sad as it may be it can happen even to biological parents...
@emarie (5442)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I would at very least get second or 3rd opinion. But if it threatens your life then I wouldn't take the chance. There's no sense in bringing in another life just to lose your own and have that child think it was THEM who killed you. If all doctors say it won't be possible then I would either adopt or consider a sere gent(sp?). Maybe someone close to you or a relative. If you feel you were wronged by the doctor, then you can try to sue him...if it turns out that you can't have another child because of him.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Jan 10
hi messageme I would seek a second opinion first as I think
it might be okay to get pregnant again and just be very careful
But seriously I would really get a second opinion because maybe the other doctor might have been wrong.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I think I'm more scared to get a second opinion thinking it won't be what I want to hear. That's pretty sad huh. Think thats why I asked it here because I don't think professionals take into consideration anything other than what they would do.
@mlno054321 (212)
• Philippines
30 Jan 10
for me if really really like to have a female child , so you better try it . don't be scare of that its just a simple test on your self to have a female child.
1 person likes this
@RULizzie (100)
• United States
29 Jan 10
I would get a second opinion, possibly from an infertility doctor. Before I had my sons a had to have surgery for fibroid s in my uterine wall, when my ob diagnosed them he send me to an infertility specialist because he knew that I wanted to have children in the future. Since then I have delivered two wonderful boys but c-section. The only concern during the pregnancies were that if I even thought I was going into labor I had to call the office right away and not wait until a reached 5 minute contractions. It terms of wanting a girl another pregnancy will be no guarantee that you will get a girl.
1 person likes this
@messageme (2821)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I know there is no garantees, but there are so many myths out there that are to insure you get a girl and one of my friends did all of them and guess what she got a girl. Not saying it would happen to me, but I would be willing to try.
1 person likes this
@str8_up_cutie83 (217)
• United States
1 Feb 10
I would definitely seek a second opinion. I have never heard of have the cut made in the opposite direction. You may even want to try and speak with a doctor or obstetrician that specializes in high risk pregnancies and they can tell you more about your particular situation. If having a girl is very important to you by all means weigh all of your options and go with the best possible.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
29 Jan 10
messageme,
First of all, as far as the scars bursting open is concern, I think it is very individual. You doctor may be right but again he may not be. It all depends on your skin's general health and the wounds healing.
You may have a second opinion, however, I feel it would be also be helpful to consult a dermatologist on that c-section scar of yours, see what the chances are.
Last but not least, you should also speak to your husband to see if he is comfortable with you taking this risk. I am sure that he will be very concern with the wound bursting.
Take care.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
30 Jan 10
Oh he is! He wants me to have my girl, but he don't want me to risk my life for it.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
29 Jan 10
i THINK U SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR THOSE SWEET LITTLE BOYS U HAVE & I'M SURE U KNOW TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD DOESN'T MEAN IT WILL BE A GIRL. Who is going to look after your little ones if something happens to u???
@messageme (2821)
• United States
30 Jan 10
I have the outlook that its not going to happen to me.
1 person likes this
