This is who I really am...
By pentagan12
@pentagan12 (757)
Philippines
January 30, 2010 1:29am CST
My boyfriend and I had an argument again this early afternoon before he went to work. He wanted me to clean the entire house as often as he wants me to do. I did it. I washed the dishes, as usual. I swept the floor in the living room, including the stairs. I even cleaned the outside part of the house. Honestly, I don't always feel like cleaning because my body seems so weak to move and move. I also don't know how to cook. In short, I don't know much about household chores. And he hates me for being like that. I have always tried to make him happy in anyways I could but still he keeps on looking for something I don't have. I am actually looking for more money now because he asked me a favor to celebrate his birthday with goat's meat. He has a lot of favors and I gave him everything I had. But he wasn't contented. After our argument awhile ago, he sent me a message through cellphone telling me how unlucky he is because of having me as his girlfriend. I felt badly hurt about it. I don't even know how to react with that. Is it really my fault? Is it a sin to be imperfect? Is it a crime not to be what he wants me to be?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
31 Jan 10
Pentagan,
I hate to say it but your boyfriend is verbally abusive. This relationship sounds controlling and scary. No it is not a crime to be imperfect. We all are. Your boyfriend is not perfect....he is abusive and mean! Do you work outside of the home? If so, why is he not helping with the household chores? If you are not and he chooses to support you then still....you are NOT his slave and it does not make it ok to treat you like this. You should be together because you love each other and for that reason only. He should not be with you expecting you to clean the house and cook. It doesn't sound as if you are lazy at all but rather that you just haven't had much experience in these things. It sounds as if you are trying. Oh and we all have days where we just don't feel like cleaning and stuff. You need to get tough there and stand up for yourself with this guy. Do not let him treat you like a doormat! you are way better than that!
@thesaiyanprince (542)
• India
31 Jan 10
no buddy... dont worry... its not a sin to be imperfect... all humans are imperfect... dont feel bad for it... i think its better if u quit him... whoever doesnt make you happy.. are worth for you...
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
30 Jan 10
It isn't a crime to not be the way he wants you to be. if the situation were reversed, and you were asking him to do all of these things, would he do them?
@mlno054321 (212)
• Philippines
30 Jan 10
maybe you should talk to your boyfriend and tell him to stop demanding like that to you you can clean your house not as often as he want, maybe you can do such things that are not difficult for you.
@reetikanarula (35)
• India
30 Jan 10
Hi there,i understand your situation and feel like both of you are right on your own. Might be your man is having some mental strain or tension may be because of his work or else or any type of frustation. I suggest you to go on some vacations with him,it can help both of you to refresh your relation and start with a new beginning.
@sushie93 (1355)
• France
30 Jan 10
o_O
And you still going out with a boyfriend like that?!!! Kick him out!
He doesn't love you as a girlfriend but like a slave! Don't let him ruine your life, because you always doing what he want you to do, he always give you orders, you're not his dog! Why do you stay with him? It's not your fault at all! You don't derserve a boy like him, go away, let him o away, don't culpabilize because it's not who are in error, it's him.
If he really don't you, he will never treat you like this, he will feel lucky to have a girl like you, because when we love someone, we accept the other like he is. You boyfriend don't accept you, he want to "modeled" you, he always ask you for favors and doesn't be happy and hurt you by sending a bad message, this is not your boyfriend, he mus not treat you like that.
Don't stay with him, you will regret it!!
It's not a crime to not to be what he wants you to be but it's a crim to not accept what you are. Don't stay with him, don't stay with him.
@teamrose (1492)
• United States
30 Jan 10
It is not a sin to be imperfect. In fact, I suspect most of us are imperfect. However, the sin is living with a guy you obviously are not compatible with. If you really wanted to be a better housekeeper, there is help around. Have you ever been to the flylady site. The will teach to keep your house spotless with only about 15 minutes of work per day. Also, as far as cooking, the food network is on at least 16 hours every day. There are wonderful cooks on there for every type of diet. You are on the internet, go to youtube and find some quick easy recipes you can master to become a better cook.
However, I suspect the problems with you and your boyfriend is much deeper.
@bingchen (1119)
• China
30 Jan 10
i dont think you have do anything wrong and you have do your best to do what he want.but it seems that your boyfriend's request too much.there is not exist the perfect person.if he like this and let him find this girlfriend to be together.it is not your fault.your boyfriend dont pay attention to your benefits,you dont intolerate his unreasonable behaviour and should give him lesson and let him know what is real woman he should respect.i really hate this man who only complain other and dont do anything and still have this right to abuse others.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
30 Jan 10
Leave the pompous a**. He cannot keep on demanding and expecting. Does he ever do something for you? Doesn,t sound like it. He doesn,t appreciate you. And so by the way, YOU ARE NOT HIS SLAVE. If you do not want to clean, he can do it himself. I am sure there are nothing wrong with his hands. Just leave him and get it over with. You are your own person and if he doesn,t like you as you are, that is his loss. I am sure you can get much better than him.
@cloud31 (5809)
•
30 Jan 10
You are doing your best to him and i think its clear enough that he never satisfied on your effort, try not to keep quiet about this talked to him and discuss how you was hurted, hes asking a lot from you but does he ever consider your feeling , he might need an helper not a partner.
