Should I throw away all the pictures of my ex?
By ainee82
@ainee82 (618)
Philippines
January 30, 2010 11:48pm CST
P and I were together for 4 years. I've always thought that we'll end up settling down together. I thought that we were very compatible. I felt that everything fell into place. Then we broke up.
You see for 4 years, we only see each other every 2 weeks.
He lives in another town and has a business there.
The town is 2 hours away from where I live. The distance plus the fact that we were both busy didn't help the situation.
We broke up last 2007. It has been 3 years. And I still have some of our pictures in a photo album that is intended for our pictures only. I also still have some of his letters. I have thrown away the bouquet that he gave me on our 3rd year anniversary. And I have given away some of the stuffs that he had given me before.
I now have a new boyfriend. And I truly love him. I'm keeping the pictures not because I still love my ex. But because I don't how I can dispose of it. I mean sure it was important before but now I just feel like that was 4 years worth of memories. I still have some pictures of my other ex and another album as well. It's not that I want to keep it.. But what is the proper way of disposing of memorabilia such as those? I'm still friends with them and we respect each other's lives now.
My current boyfriend is very open minded. He does not mind the pictures because it is kept out of sight. He says it is up to me if I throw it away or keep it.
You see, I do have plans of disposing it. But I want to do it when I get married. So it would be a grand event. So that I can burn it all at the same time.
But I can honestly say that I will keep some pictures. So that I can show it to my future kids and/or grandchildren.
But what do you guys think?
3 people like this
25 responses
@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
Hi ainee82!
hell YES! throw it!
ooppps...okay, I got carried away. Hahaha!
I don't know why I have a feeling that you still holding back... I know you have moved on and all. I know it is freakishly hard to let go from old memories but, isn't it the right time to do it now? 
Why would you dispose it when you are already married? hehe! Just curious...uhmmm... I don't know, with me I really don't keep any items that will remind me of my ex's. I always look into the future and "today" is what matters most.
Happy Lotting!
ooppps...okay, I got carried away. Hahaha! I don't know why I have a feeling that you still holding back... I know you have moved on and all. I know it is freakishly hard to let go from old memories but, isn't it the right time to do it now? Why would you dispose it when you are already married? hehe! Just curious...uhmmm... I don't know, with me I really don't keep any items that will remind me of my ex's. I always look into the future and "today" is what matters most.
Happy Lotting!2 people like this
@ainee82 (618)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
yeah. i must admit i am holding back. but i know that it's not because I still have feelings for him because I don't. I guess in time I will be able to throw it. It's still in my bedroom now. I haven't even looked at it yet. It's been hidden for 2 years. Didn't want to see it because I don't know what to do with it. But I guess it's time to build up the courage to see the PAST. LOL
1 person likes this
if i get approved. LOL@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
yes girl! 
you can do it! don't let your past haunt you down! just kidding! haha! But really, it feels good when you don't hide anything anymore be it a piece of "junk" memory or sad "goodbyes". What important is you are happy "today". Are you happy now with him? I hope you are.
Best of luck!
you can do it! don't let your past haunt you down! just kidding! haha! But really, it feels good when you don't hide anything anymore be it a piece of "junk" memory or sad "goodbyes". What important is you are happy "today". Are you happy now with him? I hope you are. Best of luck!2 people like this
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
31 Jan 10
Well, you have gone on with your life, so keeping pictures of your ex-boyfriend doesn't sound like something bad to me, as they're just memories that you keep printed of a past experience. If you look at them that way, you can just store that album somewhere. If you don't feel comfortable about those memories being not only inside your head, then it's better to get rid of them as you will feel more comfortable.
2 people like this
@dreamnishu (1247)
• China
31 Jan 10
If your current boyfriend has no problem,then you can keep your ex boyfriend picture.
But i hope you will just keep the picture will never fall in love with him. Hahaha. Just kidding, don't mind.
But may be i will not keep my ex boyfriend picture. Not because that current boyfriend will mind. Because i want to forget him.
But i will keep my current boyfriend picture always.
@mannylayne (49)
• Canada
31 Jan 10
It sounds to me like you already know the answer. If you want other opinions, my opinion is that you do what feels right to you, end of sentence.
2 people like this
@mannylayne (49)
• Canada
31 Jan 10
Not at all! That thought had not even crossed my mind when I read your post. And your welcome
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
31 Jan 10
Hi Ainee
There is no reason for you to throw the Photos as you are still Friends and like you say they are Memories to you and your Boyfriend is not bothered about it so there is no problem there
I gave all the Photos of my Ex Husband to my Daughter as my 21 Year Marriage was a Nightmare, I only speak to him when I have to which is very rare now
But you have no problems with your Exes so no need to get rid as they leave you with good Memories
@jhoanee (598)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
u must be in pain during that break-up but at least its good to know now that u have found a new love and getting married soon. i also have same situation to you before me and my ex were on for 3 years and almost everyday we seen each other i also thought that he was the one but things change and we finally broke-up. i was really in pain forgetting him before. coz his the one who left and had found a new girl without saying bye or whatever. i felt it was disrespectful towards me and i never expected it. thats was really ouch...lol... thats why it was hard for me to forget him coz that time i was still in love to him. so what i did i get his pictures and letters and put it in an old book that was in the garage and it was really my intention not to remember which book i had put it so that i will easily let go of the feelings and started the process of healing. it was hard then but thank god it was over although it took me almost 2 years to forget..lol...and guess what just recently after 7 years i never thought i had found that pictures and letters of him on my sister's things.funny right hahahah. my sister told me she kept it when she found it in her old book thought it would matter to me or whatever. she gave it back to me but i told her to just keep it where it was before. it was long been gone and now im happy with my life with my new boyfriend and our 1 year old son. he and the relationship is just a memory now and all i could do remembering it is just smile at myself.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
31 Jan 10
Your current boyfriend sounds like a lovely man that is thoughtful to your feelings. He doesn't mind if you keep or throw away with the photos of your ex-boyfriend. Therefore you are free to follow your own wishes on that one. Some ladies hide the photos of the ex from their present and this can create problems within a relationship. I am all for clutter clearing but some memories are worth keeping.
1 person likes this
@abhi_bangal (5533)
• Ahmednagar, India
31 Jan 10
I do still have some photographs of my girlfriend. They were photographs which showed the world how beautiful she was. I had more than a couple of them. Now why I say 'I still have', is that, we are no in longer a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. But I still have kept them safe with me. I still have her cards that she had sent of different occasions like new-year, valentine or my birthday. As far as my current partner is concerned, I do not have one in that sense. This is because, things took their turn and I got married. Now my wife is my partner and I too did not run after any girl after I broke up with her. It was my first and last experience to have a relationship as just lovebirds with someone who was not within our ranks. Now that I am happily married, I care the least about the past. Things do take on me though. But time is a great teacher and an equally great healer. And time has healed my wounds. Now whatever photographs I have, I have kept them safe and nothing else.
@Hubfee (665)
• Thailand
31 Jan 10
Hmmmm for me, I don't really keep the ex's pictures. It always bring problems whenever I had new relationship. Anyway I don't have any new relationship if I still love my ex. I did keep my one of the beloved ex's pics before but I can't see what really help me. Though I did have a thousnd pictures of her, but still it didn't bring her back. So I choose not to touch, if it'd be gone then gone. I prefer to have those things in the past in my fading memories. Keeping them fo long time may make your present one get wrong expression. No matter he acts fine and say that he's ok but deep inside always get accepted wound. It means man really can accept things but still wound.
1 person likes this
@nautilus33 (1827)
•
31 Jan 10
~ Hi! I think it depends on that, how have you broke up and have you another boy/girlfriend now. Because if you have a great quarrel when broke up and you don't respect him/her anymore, and you even hate him/her, then maybe you should throw them away, or the other case is, if you have a new boy/girlfriend and he/she doesn't want to see these pictures any more. ~
1 person likes this
@cloud31 (5809)
•
31 Jan 10
Well depends on what you feel about those photo,keep it when you think its right then if think its easy to dispose it then theres no second thought, but if your bf now don't care about anything why pay attention on these stuff? let monday follow tuesday,hehehe, and put sunday behind,,,Lol
@sweetestdrug (1)
•
1 Feb 10
i can't come up with the right words for now.
i'm in a hasn't-been-over-with-my-ex situation until now. toinx.
i miss you on killerbee ainee. =)
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
31 Jan 10
ainee82,
Everyone of us all, have a past and relationships is just one of them. Now, we all go through many phases and stages in our life, whether we like it or not we are entitled to our memories. Yet, how we deal and want to deal with our pasts is really individual and you just do not need to do anything you are not happy, like or prefer.
There's no hard and fast rules, including disposing your memorable photo collections besides they are not going to affect your present relationship. Also, there's no need to dispose them even when you get married.
In all, are they more important than your present boyfriend? I am sure you will see where I am trying to head you with this question. Relationships may be made in heaven but it will still need earthly works from the both of you to stay together.
Take care and have a nice day.
@ainee82 (618)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
well.. i don't really have any problem with my current boyfriend. i love him dearly. the pictures are not that important. but somehow i'm holding back from throwing it not because i still have feelings for my ex but because it was 4 years of memories. not a few months... not for a year.. not for 2 years.. but 4 years. He was in my graduation day, a couple of birthdays and family outings, and a lot more. So if I throw those away, I know there's no way of getting it back soon. But thanks for posting.
@teamrose (1492)
• United States
1 Feb 10
I think you should just put the picture up on a closet shelf out of the way. You will forget them. Years from now you will probably stumble upon the picture and they will just be fond memories. At that time you can decide if it is just too much clutter.
@mutpal74 (314)
• India
1 Feb 10
From U R photo it seems U R a girl and as per my knowledge women can never forget their first love.Only they compromise with situation. If you think that by throwing away all your ex's photo graph you can forget him then try it , but I am sure it will not work out, unless and until the love in your heart is replaced by hate and that is possible only when your ex does something so serious for which you can never forgive him.Until that happens, my friend be assure all these effort will not give you any result.Throwing away photos,gifts etc will not work unless you you transplant a new heart.I have written these because these are my personal feeling.Hope I am clear enough and I know also that you have not posted this article only for .02$ you wanted a solution, I have given you one.
@vigneshindian (203)
• India
1 Feb 10
well this is good topic to discuss . If you are serious about moving ahead with life it is always better to forget your ex . I can give my frd example he was so deeply in love with her that even after marriage he used to have his ex pic in his house, one fine day his wife came to know about it and screwed him . Now the sad part his he cant lead happy life now .
so in case u want to move on in life better to forge the ex and throw all pictures
@damalimcpherson (251)
• Jamaica
1 Feb 10
i honestly do not think you should keep any of his pictures. he is in the past so just get rid of him completely when you get married. keeping some of his pictures will only indicate that you still have some form of feelings for him and if you are completely over him there is no need to have his remains.get rid of his pictures so that in the long run it memories of him do not affect your marriage.
@benz87333angel (104)
• United States
1 Feb 10
I have been in over 20 relationships and I have kept a picture of every single one. That was a part of you and your past and you may want to look back on them at some point. If your boyfriend is really open then I would keep at least the one when you had the best times with or maybe the ones who helped you accomplished some thing in your life, the ones that will be important to you. Tuck them away and take them out when you need to view them or show someone past memories.
