Do you argue with your spouse much?
By puppynut
@puppynut (370)
New Zealand
January 31, 2010 2:25pm CST
I have been married for just two months now and I am expecting our first child. We weren't planning to get pregnant straight away but here we are. Over the past month we have argued quite a lot. I think we are just settling into our relationship, as we were both single and free to do as we pleased before now. We both lived alone and had control of our own finances and houses. It's been tough learning how to share space. I think arguing is natural in a way, but it isn't good to say hurtful hings because they stick in your mind and you can't take them back very easily but sometimes standing up for yourself is better then putting up with something that annoys you for years and years. It would be nice if we could just talk about it. We are working on it! I don't know if we need counselling but if the arguing carries on or gets any worse I will be suggesting it, though we'll probably argue about that too.lol. What about you, do you argue? Do you think it's natural?
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3 responses
@donsky14 (5947)
• Philippines
31 Jan 10
I think arguing is just normal...your two different people, so conflicts will really arise. As for us, we argued a lot before during our first to two months as boyfriend and girlfriend. But now that were already 3 years together and expecting a baby, we don't really argue that much, we pretty much understand each other...and his a pretty cool headed guy, he just tries to fix things up. He doesn't like it when we fight, so he try his best to avoid it.
congratulations to you too btw.
@kingsly321 (10)
• India
31 Jan 10
it is pretty matural,but u gotta learn to make sacrifices if u want things to happen in a smooth manner,talk bot it,personal space and bot sayin hurtful stuff..i mean if ur gonna bring in ur child too,u really have to sacrifice a lot
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@mannylayne (49)
• Canada
31 Jan 10
Check your motives. What are you arguing about? Are you saying what you are really feeling to each other. Are you projecting your feelings on to your spouse and vice versa? Are you taking on the feelings, emotions and actions of your spouse when they are not yours to own?
Are you sweating the small stuff? Do you have resentments that you have not faced and it is affecting your reactions to him?
My husband and I do not argue much but when we do, it stays diplomatic and blame free. If it starts to get to a point where either one of us feels like we want to start slinging stuff at each other, then we tell the other we need a timeout. Some time to calm down, drop our defensiveness and really think about what part we are playing in the arguement.
Do you need counselling? It depends on what you have already tried and what kind of research you have done. Also, if for some reason he does not want to go, you can go to individual counselling to help you with your own issues and make you a stronger person. Just remember, you are responsible for your own mental health, no one elses.
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