What do you say if your mother is marrying a man you know is after her money?
By free_man
@free_man (7330)
United States
January 31, 2010 3:43pm CST
My husbands mother married a man that has been known to marry women for their money and we know it. Sevearl of his ex wives have died shortly after they were married. And their money went to him. He isn't anything special matter of fact he is rather plainly. He isn't good looking and has only one eye nothing special about this guy. My husbands mother just renewed her will and when she did she didn't leave this man anything but the home she just brought. But when she told him he started asking what she was going to leave his children. Now they have been married only a couple of years. She told him she loved his children but loved her children more. And he got all upset and threw a fit. She told him after this she would leave him the home she just brought but if he remarried or had a woman come to spend the night he would lose the home too. Thank God she might be seeing what he is really after.His ex wives became sick shortly after they were married. My mother in law became sick shortly after she married him too.We ask her to have a toxicology test ran and she said she would. We are worried cause her heart has started to give her problems before she could get that done. There are poisons that don't stay in your blood system too long so we want her to get tested ASAP.Thank God my husband did get her to make him sign a pre nuptial so if anything happens to her he don't get anything at all. How do you tell someone that the person they are marrying is only after what they have? Do you talk to them? Or do you just set a blind eye to it? What can we say to make her realize he isn't what she thinks he is?
3 people like this
11 responses
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
31 Jan 10
Oh my lord, this sounds like so many lifetime movies that I have seen, for sure. I would sit her down, that is both you and your husband and tell her exactly how you both feel and what you believe in your heart is happening. For him to get upset because she was not leaving anything to his kids is a huge RED FLAG. Not to mention the fact that the women he married before had suddenly gotten sick right after getting married to this man. I'm so happy she is getting the toxicology test because that will tell you what is going on. Didn't anyone tell her that he has married for money in the past? I surely hope your mother-in-law is ok and that she wakes up to what is really going on here and gets rid of him. Keep us posted if you can.
2 people like this
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
31 Jan 10
I'm telling you I would not leave her alone for a minute. This guy is bad news and if she was my mother I would be going to her home packing a bag and bring her to my house till she got all the tests done and evaluated. If she was fine before he is definitely doing something to her. All his previous wives got sick too, soon after getting married that is a tell tell sign that he is up to no good and especially since he keeps asking what she is leaving his kids. I'm really upset by this. Please she shouldn't be left alone with him.
2 people like this
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
31 Jan 10
What is your mother-in-laws first name I need to pray for her. I'm really so upset by all this. I'm so scare for her. Is it this Thursday coming or next Thursday that she is getting the tests? If its next Thursday its just to long a period of time.
2 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
31 Jan 10
Hi Lelin. Her name is Mary. It is this coming Thursday. Thank for your prayers. I have asked a couple of times for prayers for Mary. She is a good woman. I don't think he will try anything before she goes into the hospital cause the doctors would find anything in her system. I don't know if he is doing this but if he is the doctors may find it. And if they don't and she passes away we will make sure there is an autopsy done right away and if they find anything we will make sure he goes to jail and pays for it. Thank you again for your prayers.
@AShraderJr (156)
• United States
31 Jan 10
From what you've typed here it seems that your mother in-law is smarter than you give credit. The fact that she knows to look out for her own children before his is a titanic reason to believe that she already knows what he his. That basically means that she doesn't trust him to take care of her family if she were to pass. I think that if you bring it up with her in a questioning manner, "So Bill is pretty mad about only getting the house huh?" she may even tell you what I have said is true. I wouldn't worry too much it seems to be covered from both sides. Just watch her health and if something happens don't let that no good piece o.s. get away with anything.
:o)-Tony
2 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
31 Jan 10
Hi AShraderJr. I think she might know but not sure of it. Her heart has been gets worse and then gets better. He has been doing all kinds of things that looks strange and can't get her to see this. He keeps trying to get her as far away from us as much as possible. When we call he has to listen in on what is said. He will go into the other room and pick up the phone to hear what is said. Don't matter who she is on the phone with. She did take notice of this that was a good thing. She got so mad she told him off about that. If she passes we will make sure there is an autopsy and have her checked for poisons we will have it done ASAP. Believe me he won't get anything if she passes away. She goes into the hospital next week for another time to have her heart stopped and restarted. She was in good health before he married her.
1 person likes this
@AShraderJr (156)
• United States
31 Jan 10
I wish you well, and I hope that she comes to terms with what he is before it's too late.
2 people like this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
1 Feb 10
Wow! How scary....unfortunately, it doesn't seem like there is much you can do but be supportive and watch her health.
2 people like this
@teamrose (1492)
• United States
1 Feb 10
Well there is nothing you can do now because she is already married. You can document anything you see that is strange in case there is ever a need. You can go on record letting authorities know what you suspect.
Other than that you have to just be there for her in case she needs help in any way.
2 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
1 Feb 10
Hi Teamrose. We keep all the records on hand so in case something does happen. We won't talk to the local police he is friends with the sheriff we would call in the state if anything ever happened to her. We keep in touch daily. We notice anything that is different. She calls us when he isn't there so she can talk with out him listening in on everything. I think she knows more then she is telling but I also think she is getting sick of him already. She told him the last time she was in the hospital he has 6 months to change or it was over. Then she changed her will when she was supposed to go into the hospital the last time. So I think she means business.
@alohagems100 (565)
• United States
1 Feb 10
I have watched this kind of situation in some of my favorite TV program called Arrest and Trial and American Justice. This is so sad to think about how greedy some people are. Keep an eye her and so with your husband. It's good that you are aware of some possible circumstances that might occur in their relationship.
As to your questions, it is really hard to tell, unless you are a sister or a daughter or close to that person. Maybe in some cases the wife is aware but becuase of some reasons like love or craziness, it seems like they aren't seeing what is possibly would happen until that day comes and too late to get out.
@ANIME123 (2466)
• United States
1 Feb 10
I would tell my mom not to marry him because if he just wants her for her money then he truly does not love her. I will always have my mommy's back and will always protect her from any danger that may come her way. Never turn the other cheek because then things will just get worse from there. Also you will always feel guilt with in yourself it will be hard to forget something like that.
2 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
1 Feb 10
Hi ANIME. She married him a couple of years ago even after we told her what we know about this man. She was just in love and married him anyway. She did make him sign a prenuptial. So that should have told him he wouldn't get anything. And we will always have her back. She is the one we will protect for as long as we live. We make it a habbit to call her daily and when we don't call her as soon as she gets up she calls us.
@Java09 (3075)
• United States
1 Feb 10
People are often blinded by what they think love is,and I think it would be hard to convince the person their mate is using them for money.Unfortunately most people have to find out for themselves and then it's too late.You case here,this sounds terrible ,I really don't know what I'd do.Hopefully she will get tested,that sounds suspicious to me and she 'll see him as he really is.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
1 Feb 10
Hi Java. I am hoping she gets tested soon. I hope she won't tell him before the test so he don't have a clue. I don't think she will. I want her to see him for what he really is. But seems like since she has changed her will she is seeing things in a different lite. Think she is seeing a different side of him. I couldn't believe that this man came right out and said what about my children. I think that put her in a state of shock to hear this. Since then she has been noticing a lot of different things that she never seen before. We had heard from several people before they were married and tried to tell her what they had told us. But guess the loneliness was just more then she could bare anymore. When she started getting sick we started staying as close as possible.
@lillysus21 (73)
• United States
1 Feb 10
You say he had several exwives. How many is several? Your mother in law must know all about this if you do. If your mom in law is a reasonably intelligent woman and knows about this man's past she must be deliberately casting a blind eye to this. I suppose all you can do is tell her as lovingly as you can what you think this man is up to and the rest is up to her. She's an adult and she has to be responsible for her decisions. You can't make people realize something they don't want to admit to themselves. No matter how much compelling evidence you may have if they don't want to see it they won't. They will make excuses, rationalize things away. Just be there for her, look out for her. If this guy is really a snake hopefully Mom will come to admit it to herself and do something about it.
1 person likes this
@mannylayne (49)
• Canada
31 Jan 10
Your mother is going to do what she wants - it's her path to choose. Definitely tell her how you feel about it, that you don't approve of the marraige and why but that no matter what, she's your mom and you will always be there for her. Make sure you get across to her that you are not attacking her and her choice but that you are concerned. Just be sure to point out that you will support HER no matter what her decision is.
It is her life path to take and no individual likes to be told how to live their life. All a person can do is provide their input and the receiver will take what they want from your advice. People need to learn from their own mistakes. That's human nature: experience new situations and learn from them.
2 people like this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
31 Jan 10
Hi Mannylayne and welcome to my lot. I know that she can't be told what to do she will make up her own mind and she knows we support her no matter what she does. She knows how we all feel about this guy. I think she is starting to see things in a different lite. She has changed her will and gotten all her affairs in order and is preparing for anything that might happen.
@free_man (7330)
• United States
17 Dec 10
Hi Sostrong and welcome to my lot. We have tried everything we know to show her what he is doing to her. Any way her eyes are opening a little bit. She has taken a lot of steps to make sure that he won't get anything if she should pass away before him. She has made sure that her children will get what is hers. This guy had the gaul to ask mom what she was going to leave his children....
This shocked mom she looked at him and told him nothing at all he was mad about this. But mom told him she loved his children and would be good to them as long as she lives but she loves her children more and they are the ones that would get everything she has! Now these children he is speaking of are full grown children married and have homes of their own. Why would they need mom's stuff too? That was when mom started making sure that her stuff would go to where she wanted it to go to her children. So her eyes are opening a little each time he pulls some bull like this!
This shocked mom she looked at him and told him nothing at all he was mad about this. But mom told him she loved his children and would be good to them as long as she lives but she loves her children more and they are the ones that would get everything she has! Now these children he is speaking of are full grown children married and have homes of their own. Why would they need mom's stuff too? That was when mom started making sure that her stuff would go to where she wanted it to go to her children. So her eyes are opening a little each time he pulls some bull like this!