Husband does not want to work
By Ftpuser
@Ftpuser (2)
South Africa
February 1, 2010 5:32am CST
Please help me. My husband lost his job 6 months ago because his boss wanted him to pass a course, but he was too lazy to study for it. Now I have been begging him to look for a new job, but he refuses - he just sits at home. I try to send his CV to as many places as possible - so the other day he finally got a job offer, but then he didnt take it because he didnt want to work on a saturday. Now I sent his CV to some more places, and theres another place that said he must come for an interview - but now he says the place is too far from our house - he always has an excuse - he refuses to work. The worse of all is that he threatened me and said if I tell anybody that he is not working then he will divorce me - so now he is pretending and telling everybody that he is still working and he tells all our friends and even my parents all these untrue stories about whats happening at his work - and nobody knows that he is just sitting around while I must do everything. Other than that - he doesnt even have a qualification at all - so I have been trying to encourage him to finish his diploma - but now, he doesnt ever want to study - then he goes to write the exam, but he failed 5 times already, because he never studies. I have tried everything - I tried talking to him nicely I tried fighting with him, I tried encouraging him. These days, every time I even mention the topic he starts yelling at me - I cant speak to him anymore at all. I dont know what to do. I dont want to get divorced. What must I do? I really cant speak to him about it? Can you help me??
2 people like this
8 responses
@KHANRABIULLAH (561)
• India
1 Feb 10
hello sister i am feeling very sorry for you. i am not of this status then also i will give you some suggestion that please try your best to put him on job, if then also he dont do job then tell him that you sit in home and i will work for you and you eat food of one womans salry, if he is a real man that is gentle man then he will obviously feel shame to self and insh allah he will be on job next day. please if you dont like my suggestion please ignore it, i had been comment you as i had told that word "sister". please try this and tell me what you will get result from this. i am waiting for you my sister please try to reply soon, if you like it. khan.
@Ftpuser (2)
• South Africa
1 Feb 10
Hi Khan and Sairam
Thank you so much for your replies - I really appreciate it very much. I really tried to talk to my husband numerous times - and now he is at last going for an interview tomorrow. But the place really is very far from our house - so i just hope that he will take it anyways, so that we can have enough money for everything. Thank you for being so supportive!!!
@KHANRABIULLAH (561)
• India
2 Feb 10
mention not sister i will 24*7 in your service please it is an request when you need any type of help from me please tell to me and i will try to do my best to solve your problem,khan.
@hollowheart (1572)
• India
15 Mar 10
Dear friend. I am really sorry to hear about the tough times u r passing through. I have a suggestion, though i do not know how much it could help u.
See there is some reason which has made your husband to stop / avoid jobs.
He has lost the courage in him, which he tried to hide with his excuses.
Well maybe i cant helpo to remove the fear in him, but what i feel is he is sure to be having some hobbies or some kind of a work that he enjoys the most.
So how about trying to have a small home based business.
Maybe he would enjoy, as there wouldnt be a boss for him, and he would get u always beside him, more over he wouldnt have to travel or face unwanted situations that he may have faced at his workspace.
Just hoping that things would be better.
Let me know what happens. All the best to u.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
15 Mar 10
Hi Ftpuser, it is difficult if he refuses to help himself and it shows he is an irresponsible husband who doesn't see the needs of the family. No point pushing him if he is unmotivated to look for a decent job. Be patient and the only option left for you now is to pray to God to ask for his help.
@scja16 (322)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
You need to be honest with him. I know you are afraid to tell him because of the divorce thing that he mentioned. But here is the thing that you need to remember, Until when are you planning to let him do this to you? Can you live your whole lige working for him? If you gonna ask me, relationship should be mutual and fair. I "as the man of the house" I do not want my wife to work because I know within me that it is my responsibility to provide their needs as the head of the family. Sorry to say this but I do not like what your husband is doing and I completly understand that you love him so much that is why you are so patient about this issue.
For now, the best thing that you can do is Pray and have faith with God. God for sure knows what is best for you.
@cnn0831 (27)
• Philippines
13 Mar 10
who the hell is he? A pensioner? It's really unacceptable. You're the woman but you're the one who's suffering because of his laziness and irresponsibility. First of all, it is his main task to provide all your needs., unless he's disabled. He don't even realize, that in this world, a child/minor can work to help his/her own family.
I know it's hard to keep on talking and forcing him to work but you can try this,
• Is he addict with online games, or other gigs? Try to stop him and do not give any money just to support his caprices. And tell him that you don't have enough money.
• Ask him what are his plans for your family? Does he want a happy and healthy family. If he wants that type of family,he must get to work.
I'm sorry if I reacted this way, but it's really unfair.
@Johar_ahmad (419)
• Malaysia
2 Feb 10
Wow, thats rare problem to heard. Yes Pray is the final thing you should do. my GOD guide your husbandto the right path.
@sairamsairamsairam (122)
• Indonesia
1 Feb 10
i think you must pray sis
pray is the final chance
god bless you
