Would you accept an apology sent by a "messenger"?

I agree agree with you that if the apology is sincere then it should be made in person or at least a personal phone call. Otherwise I would not accept it.

To me it wouldn't seem like a sincere apology if someone else was sent to make it. If the person is truly sorry they should say so in person. Sending someone else just doesn't seem right. There are sometimes when it isn't possible. Like if you get in a disagreement with someone from My Lot. You'd never see the person face to face. But in other circumstances I would want to be spoken to directly.

It kind of depends on who it's from... I have a couple of fairly good friends who I really only communicate with through emails and instant messengers so an apology any other way would have to be for something HUGE and I can't even think of anything big enough to warrant them apologizing over the phone or something like that. Mostly, though, I was raised to believe that anyone can say the words "I'm sorry" but you have to truly be sorry in order to show it through your actions. So I'm a firm believer of don't tell me you're sorry, show me.

INDEED! apology for it to be sincere should be said infront of the person we committed mistakes with, sincerity can be sometimes determined by nonverbal languages we expresses while we talk. sending an apology to a messenger can be okay, maybe he/she is not yet prepared to face you, however, it should be followed the two of you talking, to amend the mistakes and misunderstanding that causes the mistake. maybe, sending an apology thru a messenger is the best that he/she can do at the moment, maybe he/she is not yet prepared to apologize in person, our pride sometimes hinder us to mend our would faster. just give him/her time. take care...

Yes, if the messenger WAS the Person APOLOGIZING...

well, cecillecarmela, what i know about apologies are they are made personally, i.e. to the face of the person or persons offended. but i assure that when it becomes a fad to deliver apologies by "messenger" or even a "forwarder," i'll try to set up a company specializing in that line of service... joke lang... but you cannot apologize through a messenger... even if that messenger is a mutual acquaintance or friend...

apology by messenger...how insensitive.

i suppose it's better than nothing,but i'd question the sincerity of it. if they were really sorry about something,they can tell me to my face. unless they're afraid of the reaction or something.

I wouldn't. IF they are serious about apolgizing.. they need to do it in person. If they dont, then they aren't that sorry. Period. Messenger just gives the person a way out of having to take responsibility for their own actions. "I can do whatever I want, then send flowers and all is fine with the world". Forget unethical... its just down right rude!

i agree somewhat esp if 2 people are long distance but there are phones emails also some people dont know how to apologize and it may be difficult somewhere it should be done face to face after thru a messenger i believe depends on the situation! but good points!

I would read the message and mull it over, but I probably wouldn't give a response until I saw the person again. If I'm wronged, then I would greatly appreciate it if the person in the wrong actually step up and tell me face-to-face that he/she was wrong. I try not to hold grudges, but if someone hasn't apologized to me, that's something that will stick with me for a while.

I agree with you 100%. If someone is truly sorry for their actions and feel the need to apologise then it needs to be done face to face if that is possible and if not then at least via the phone. I feel that both sides of the apology need to be able to feel the emotions of the other persons voice for the apology to be effective and heal the wounds. Sending a messenger is a weak way out of it and shows that they are not really sorry for their actions, they just want to apologise to get past the rift and that is all.

i agree. if the person really is sorry for whatever it is that he/she has done.. it's best to do it personally. It's the sincerest way of apologizing. ;D

Hi Cecille! First of all I'm glad to find a fellow Filipina here in MyLot. Anyway, I totally agree with you on that. Apologies are meant to be sincere and personal. Hence, proper delivery plays a significant role in this. Personally for me apologies are best told in person, not through text or chat. It just gives it a feeling of insincerity and lack of seriousness. I'm totally get where you're coming from. Regards.

Well, it depends on each individual ^_^ SOme are just shy, or they just dun have what it takes to apologize in person ^_^ Whatever it is, as long as they are really sorry about the whole thing, it will be good enough.. Just like most of the time, when we are angry with someone.. We will tend to tell them, we wont wanna see them again.. As such, will they still dare to appear in front of us, and say sorry?? hehe

through this we can judge aoure behaviour of each other opology is a good way of understanding communication . we should adopt do understand each other and our close one.

This situation is in case to case basis. It depends upon the personalty of the one who made the apology and the degree of you closeness. You should consider what type of personality he or she have. There you can pen point what specific method of communication he would appropriately use to ask for an apology. There are people who are shy, that they don't have the confidence in saying it straight forward, others may also use messengers as a preliminary form to ask for an apology. They might be willing to say it in front of you after you make a sign of forgiveness.Others may also use messengers, first to determine the situation behind your emotions if you are angry with him/her or not. This is in fact sometimes can be considered as a good scenario,it is because it shows a great respect in you, that they can take it to be seen by you personally unless they will be forgiven. Some types of personality may prefer to ask forgiveness in a straight forward manner.They are those people who might have confidence in once self and they are confident that they will be for given. The level of the mistake committed should also be considered whether to use a messenger or not in asking for apology.

As much as possible, I want to accept apology if it is personally asked so that I can see if the the ones asking for apology is sincere or not. However, there are instances, wherein the ones asking for it is in far away places, well, there is the phone so we can talk personally or maybe he is sick or something that he can not come to me. Anyway, personally or through a "messenger" as you have quoted, it is better too give forgiveness to someone who have sinned against you, whether he ask for forgiveness or not. I just don't want to carry a grudge or ill feelings to others, just to have a peace of mind.

No because I can not get assure whether he/she really regret for the mistake, It can be assured only by his/her facial expression.

an apology must be accepted... because every person deserves forgives... but if the person who ask forgiveness is not the one who really owes you apology then why should i forgive him/her... that person is not serious...