allowing people to judge you

I don't understand why people have to be like this. I think its just a jealousy issue to me on their part. When people buy things that are big item tickets I just say I'm so happy for you. Which is from the heart. They are so happy so I'm happy for them too. What does it matter to anyone what or why they spent their money the way they did. I hope your cousin and her husband have many wonderful trips in their new RV.

I used to have friends like that when I had a need for approval. Luckily, I finally got past that. Your cousin worked hard for that RV and her money is hers to do with what she wishes. I think her friend, if she judges her, is jealous...maybe she didn't plan her life as well as your cousin did. I hope your cousin tells her "friend" where to shove her criticism and enjoys many happy trips in that RV with her husband! More power to them, and hooray for them!

No I would not have a Friend like that I mean yes I have a Friend that goes on at me at times but not like this Your Cousin should just tell that Friend where to go as this Person is not a Friend just someone that is Jealous It is your Cousins Money and no one has a right to tell her how to or how much to spend

Hi savypat; Personally, I wouldn't consider this person my friend, if I was secretly fearing her judgment. Friends don't place such critical judgment and in my opinion, my finances would not be any business of my friends. I would not consider someone whose reaction that I was worrying about to be a real friend. I would think that my real friend would share in my excitement and be busily planning our next girls time out with the new RV.

You're right when you say that people are going to judge you no matter what. Nobody has any control over that, but it could get annoying if someone, especially someone I considered a friend, judged me and felt the need to tell me about it. My attitude is that I'm going to do what I want and am the person I am and if somebodies got a problem with that, well don't let the door hit you on the way out. It's too bad your cousin seems to have a "friend" like that but even worse that she lets it ruin her happiness. She needs to adopt more of a "who cares?" attitude with her so-called friend and let that person know it. If the person gives her a hard time about her RV, she should let him/her know that their negative opinion isn't really wanted. If the person is a real friend, they'll understand that if it makes your cousin happy, that's what really counts.

Hello. Great discussion! What is with people like that? What is it any of anyone else's business how people spend their money? It is like telling other's how to live their lives. It isn't right. I would not have a friend like that and I would not respond to anyone who treated me like that. I would just tell them to cram it and get their nose out of my business. I wonder why your cousin thinks so highly of a person like that? Does she owe the friend anything? If not then it is comepletely none of that person's business. The friend just sounds jealous. I would never let anyone take my joy from me in that way. How sad!

I do NOT allow people to judge me. I only allow God to judge me therefore I do not care one way or the what people think about me.

My own parents are very judgemental towards my sister and I and other people they know and all my life I have wondered why. My father is especially bad and it has started to affect my husband too who worries about what my dad will think whenever he does a job or buys a piece of furniture etc. Because I grew up with it I had the deeply ingrained habit of worrying about what my friends thought about everything I did until it felt I had no mind of my own! The people that do the judging are insecure and only feel good criticizing others and it is up to the rest of us to ignore them!

I don't really care if people judge me. I mean, ok.. I'm kinda interested in what people think about me but letting it ruin something for me never will happen. I simply don't care what most people think about me. And if they don't really like something that I do.. so what? Their my friends.. they will have to accept it.

Hi savypat! No..that wouldn't fly very long with me. I value my friends opinions but when it comes to my purchases or my personal life..I'm not very open to outside judgement..unless I ask for it.

Doesn't sound like she really has a friend. A friend is not someone who is going to run around being a jerk because you bought an RV. That is a really sad pathetic person who let's their insecurity over someone else having something they do not have, ruin a relationship. It would be better to kiss that 'friend' good bye.

I will not allow such things to happen. Feelings should not be hurt. The expression should be in a mild way,which will get influenced much more .

Take it is and think it positively. You should consider yourself, if you have a few friends who judge you for all that you do. The judgments should be welcomed and used for improving your ability to perform your jobs more efficiently and effectively. Thus you get clues and scope to improve your personality and character. But the point is when the judgment becomes criticism, it brings negativity in the relationship.

No matter what you tell, People always judge you. I think If you buy RV, don't tell a friend. Keep it secret! Use Diplomatic approach to your cousin not to tell to his friend about it.

Hell no. Unless they paid for it no one has the right to tell me what I should have or what I should ware. Tell your cousin that she needs to grow a spine. As long as this person know her input is important she will always have something to say. Maybe you should ask your cousin why this persons opinion is so important to her. When she hears the reasons maybe it will make her see this person is not that important.

If your cousin does have a tendency to overspend so much for her own good, then maybe all her purchases would warrant her friend's disapproval. For all we know, it could just be out of concern. But if for some lame reasons, her friend just disapproves of anything she buys, then I guess your cousin shouldn't mind about that anymore. It's her own money, it's her own life. My mom has a friend who was a very impulsive buyer and tends to shop so much that she drowns in debt in the end. And then what? she runs to my mom for help. My mom has reasons not to support her shopaholic ways.

Well your cousin should defend herself. Its your decision on what to buy and how to spend. If you want to buy an RV, by all mean, buy it. Why should we care of what other people thinks. What most important is that we bought what we desired the most. And that is important. If she calls the person commenting negatively on her decision to buy the RV is a friend, then, her friend just reveal who he/she really is. A good friend is the one to support, and helps build our confidence, and self esteem, not the one condemn us for the decision that we made.

i often meet this thing and make me unhappy.i find that i decide to do one thing.but my husband want to prevent my plan and talk to me about negtive problem and make me angry.i dont know i have quarrel with him for this problem.i think that what i do often think about carefully.maybe i would not gain anthing from my effort,but at least i have done for it.but he refuse my plan from start,i dont like this judgement.i want to do what i want,there is no mistake for me.

I think that judging is a normal, human reaction - but closely related to jealousy. People often judge others as a reaction to own personal (or financial) problems and (to certain extents) this is understandable. However, I don't understand judging a friend. We should be happy for our friends' achievements and enjoy their successes as they would ours. It is great when you feel good and happy about yourself, but it is an even better feeling when you feel good when someone you care about does achieve an important goal (be it a material thing such as a new RV or "just" a great shot at a basketball game). If someone (especially a friend) does something better than you, has something that you don't have or has more than you have ... it should not be a destructive factor but rather an impulse for you to try harder and more ... because, guess what, it is possible!

hi! sometimes i allow them to judge me, but only when I know I have been wrong or have made some mistake, but when I have the right and they are trying to judge me, then I get very angry and don't allow it to them