How do you deal with friends or family members who are rude to you?
By skaterx
@skaterx (530)
Finland
February 3, 2010 10:28am CST
I find it so hard to deal with.
It's so frustrating, esp. close relationships. Some i can let go of (aka. bf), some I can't (aka. brother). Just find it disrepectful, and the arguments are so draining. These people make a point that only their ideals or what they think is right. If I think another way, they tell me its "wrong".
How do you deal with this in relationships? Just tried to explain to at least one of them, that everyone's entitled to their opinion, and one way isn't absolutely wrong vs something right. It's even things quite trivial or up for debate, like poker strategy, or stuff like that. There's different elements evolved, like the people, the probabilities, the psychology etc. But he only accepts that doing one move is right, vs anything else. and then he gets angry or offended like, ' I can't believe you won't do what i said'. And then he starts to insult about other things, even off topic, or other stuff he thinks hes totally right on. and stating things like, "99.9% of the people agree", when he has no statistics, he just makes it up. He's so full of himself. I can't stand it really.
19 responses
@ShannStout (46)
• United States
3 Feb 10
everybody has their own way of handling it. You can say something back to them or just let it go like you don't care. I usually say something back just because thats the kind of person i am.
1 person likes this
@joye68 (151)
• United States
4 Feb 10
Sometimes, I find it helpful to just be aware of my surroundings and the differences people have to offer... sometimes it turns out we want the same things, but we just don't explain it the same way. In our heads it makes sense ...:) but when we try to express it... it doesn't always come out right...
When some folks get offended, they try to "prove" they are right... and also essentially that they aren't "offended".
Hateful statements are hateful statements. Unless it's really messing you up, sometimes it's best to ignore things like that.
On the other hand, we each have our own experiences. The younger we are, the more incomplete these experiences are, and so we built upon them. He may be right for what he knows... but you are probably more likely to have more knowledge on the subject if it's something you have more experience with. Even if you have less experience, you understand this, therefore you seem to give the benefit of the doubt.
Sometimes you just have to pat the Cliff Clavins of the world on the head and walk away. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cliff_Clavin)
@john_ronald (383)
• Hong Kong
4 Feb 10
i deal with them in a proffer way of saying get yourself a better way to do and help yourself to be more good, skillful, high grade of what is in you. Don't say a word but make him feel that it is always a sad day.. what a black that it is in everyday then in time he/she will realized what a rude thing is, if not feel sorry for that will be forever the life he/she was choose..
@Devilova (5392)
• Indonesia
4 Feb 10
Usually I do nothing and ignored, it's better rather then make me angry.Every one will scared if they watch me angry.I considered them as adog who barking, while the dog was so little and didn't scary or spooky at all.Dog's barking loud, doesn,t mean it can bite.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
For it's so very hard for that matter what I'm going to do is not to angry,be patient and don't say any words to them just keep silent.
@tanchyka (213)
• Slovenia
4 Feb 10
My aunt and grandmother recently stopped talking to my mother and they didn't even invite us to the christmas dinner, which we always eat together. Now they're rude to me because I didn't come..hey, I have a mother too, you know? I just don't know what to say to them. I answered a call from my grandmother the other day and she was so passive agressive that I don't think I'll ever answer her calls again. It hurts me that I'm saying and thinking this because we've always talked over the phone at least twice a week but I just can't take this. My mother didn't do anything to deserve this. The only thing she does is that she doesn't agree with them in certain things and that is obviously very wrong with them. And I can't stand them anymore.
@praveenjena (1304)
• India
4 Feb 10
Well those are the most annoying moments, when you have to deal with someone your own. At that time you are at the receiving end. You know that what you are getting is wrong but still you cannot do anything.And more importantly you cannot return in the same manner. As you know that it won't yield anything. It will make the matters worse. So the main thing that I try to think at that moment is to keep calm. I try not to aggravate that matters. But it does not happen that way always. Sometimes in an immature way I shout back and after that I repent why did I do that. But that makes the things no good. I have to spend more time to get them right.
@kindy198636 (471)
• China
4 Feb 10
Hi, it's really hard to handle this, sometimes I will argue with my sister, and we have different opinions, and she judge me, and I judge her, rude to each other, I know this is bad, but just angry when that happen, and can't control myself, I love my family, it's so hard to deal with this, sometimes I just do nothing, and cry. After that we will apologize to each other.
@vivianchen (2646)
• China
4 Feb 10
Because we are family, because we are friends, that's why we feel so frustrating when we facing that situation.
For family, it's easy for me to get over it and forgive them, because i know i love them, but for friends, it depends on how rude they are and what they did. If they did something that i will never forgive, i will never be friends with that person again!
@wookieekyut (673)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
Years ago, I would just cry and stay mum about rudeness or disrespect I got from some people. But I have become evil. I have had enough. Don't they ever push me. I will explode like a volcano. Don't they even dare. People tend to abuse when they see that you don't fight for yourself.
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
I havent encounter rude family members. I guess that would be the hardest part, having a rude conversation with one of the family member because they are the least person that you can argu with. I think i am just lucky that i havent experienced one because I dont know how will I handle it.
@karthi_88 (299)
• India
4 Feb 10
hi friend,i will behave in the same way how others behave with me.i was polite and friendly only to my close friends to remaining people i was rude.but one person who came in the way of life changed me.i am not rude to all,i learned to be patient to all these days friend.
have a nice day 
@caffylove (6)
• China
4 Feb 10
I do have the same feelings with you . When i was a student in my univeristy,I had met a roomate who was really so rude and sensitive.I have never had a frind like this , so I do not know how to deal with this. But finnaly i got the way. To this kind of people , you can keep far away from her or him or just let her or him know every person has his or her way to get along with friends.If you are reluctant to do so , you will do have a bad time when getting along with this kind of people..
@Skaadi (7)
• Australia
4 Feb 10
It depends on my mood I guess. I always stick up for my views, but considering how I feel I can either do it one of two ways. Occasionally I'm in the mood where I don't really want to put up with anyone's nonsense, and an arguement ensues. Or, I still present my views but do it in a more diplomatic way, as to avoid any tiring fights that don't really go anywhere and only really serve to damage relationships. Or if all else fails just try to gently guide the conversation onto a different subject.
And there are certain things I never argue on, ever, with anyone. Religion is one of them. With a subject like that, one that is often an integral part of how you view the world, you can be pretty much guaranteed that the other person will never agree with you, no matter how much you argue. so I tend to not bother.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Feb 10
skaterx well to me lifes too short to spend bickering so to the 
person who is so full of himself, even if its my hubby or a friend, okay you told me your way, I told you my way, now its either my way or the highway. Choose or loose as I am leaving for a better place than this debating grounds ,. YOur choice, okay good bye. Then I will either go to my room or go take a walk, or go shopping, anything to leave the bickering behind.
person who is so full of himself, even if its my hubby or a friend, okay you told me your way, I told you my way, now its either my way or the highway. Choose or loose as I am leaving for a better place than this debating grounds ,. YOur choice, okay good bye. Then I will either go to my room or go take a walk, or go shopping, anything to leave the bickering behind.
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
4 Feb 10
in a debate, is a reasonable if any someone maintain opinion his. And a natural thing that the other party also did not like the opinion of the person. how to deal with people who maintain opinion his? let's say your opinion expressly. and if they impose their opinion to run by you, you'd better shut up and go away
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
3 Feb 10
Very carefully, is the best way. You really do not want to be too blunt in calling them out on being rude. Then you might be the one who is painted as the rude one. I find myself distancing myself away from those people. Just make excuses to end the conversation as soon as possible. That is just the best thing for all parties involved. That way, I can move on with my life and not have to worry about getting into an argument with a person who will not be persuaded. I would be heard out much better by debating the wall.
@MimiRemo (418)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
I am always in the same situation with my brother. He is not just rude, but totally ill-mannered, a menace, and literally stupid - can't even pass through a simple college course year after year after year. Being the older sister and the proper one, I ignore those kind of people. But when they just pick on me for no reason, I get back with harsh words. One time, I told him 'no matter how hard you try, you're just making it too obvious that you're insecure' and he was raging mad. Ha!
@srinirani (37)
• India
4 Feb 10
Ya i can understand your situation bcoz i too suffered by the same feeling once by my brother. I got frustrated at that time. But now when maturity comes i just let it go. I just feel pity on him. Whenvever he critisize or rude on me, i just smile and move from that place with kidding expression on my face.
