Do you believe in yourself our seek approval from others?
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
February 4, 2010 7:26am CST
Do you often lack self confidence? Do you sometimes disregard your aspirations and conform to the whims of others? Do you feel compelled to seek approval from authority figures or loved ones by adhering to their wishes rather than concentrating on your needs? Remember that this could lead to dissatisfaction if what others want for you is not in alignment with what you want for yourself. We all feel happier and more fulfilled when we believe in and validate ourselves. We must take pleasure in our own successes by cheering ourselves on as if we were a good friend. By affirming our worth, we take pride in our achievements.
Believing in ourselves can free us from a need for outside approval. When we are the source of our esteem, we don't have to spend time worrying about what other people will think. We won't be tempted to mold yourself into someone that we are not. We are free to live our life our way. Remember that the need for validation from other people often arises when we forget to validate ourselves. It's amazing how quickly others begin to reflect our sentiments once we approve of ourselves. We become free once we realize that other people's opinions have no bearing on what we do rather, they are the mirror that shows us how we see ourselves. Let's cultivate self-worth today, and we can craft our life without worrying about pleasing others.
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2 people like this
12 responses
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Sometimes we need to do stuff that we don't like in order to acquire
what we really want at the end ,but we should never do stuff just to
please others because this leads to resentment and lack of motivation.
We need to approve of ourselves in order to find real happiness.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
6 Feb 10
I used to always need approval from someone as I was made to feel stupid and worthless most of my Life but in the last 5 Years I have learned that I am not worthless and stupid and that I am my own Person and if People do not like it then tough I don't need anyones approval to be me
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
6 Feb 10
I don't give a damn what others think of me. I believe in myself, because I know I will be with me 100%, the entire way. others may believe in me too, but I can only guarentee my belief in myself. I prefer not to be influenced by those around me.
1 person likes this
@laura_lmaxi (678)
• United States
4 Feb 10
I really don't have lack of confidence, however every once in a while we all need approval for certain things in our life from our families, like marriage or career wise. But in my case I have always being very true to myself and I enjoy the way I am, I also try to improve myself and reinvent myself everyday, studying more, being nicer to others, and try every day to make something good for others. But I do have seen people that are very worried about what other may think, these kinds of people don't live their life well, they repressed themselves in order to please other, which in many cases those other people don't even care about them.
1 person likes this
@kmahony610 (123)
• United States
4 Feb 10
I absolutely do not seek the approval of others. I am very self confident. I know in life that we must beleive in ourselves. No one else is going to pat us on the back when we need it. Seeking outside approval gets tireing and when we don't get the approval we are looking for we are hurt and feel alone. All we really have in this world is ourself. While it is important to have a good reputation what others think and feel about us is not as important as what we think and feel about ourself. A person always trying to please others is not really a positive person. They never really feel that they measure up. I say be Happy! Love yourself!
1 person likes this
@Sallyso (12)
•
5 Feb 10
Yes, I do feel I lack self confidence at times, although with time and passing years it does become easier. Having had a very strict upbringing (Victorian method) it was FEAR of not doing the right thing that was expected of me that was the problem. I have felt very manipulated in my past relationships but only realized this once I was out of the relationship. I just had a tendency to go along with whatever was decided to be by others. Now I know I have the freedom to do and act as I please and although that is a wonderful feeling I still at times feel "lost" due to that lack of automated direction I was so used to both in my childhood years and later marriage.
I am still working on being "me"...one day I hope to discover my true self
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
5 Feb 10
Hi Sallyso, Thank you for commenting and it seems that you have done very well already. It is very difficult to get away from the fear that one experiences when young. Keep up the good work and continue to experience the freedom that comes from the knowledge that the only power others have over us is the power that we allow them to have. Blessings.
@smacksman (6053)
•
5 Feb 10
I went to live overseas when I was 21 and that confirmed that I had to believe in my own judgement and I have done so ever since.
I have made many mistakes and I know that I have only myself to blame for them - I cannot blame someone else. On the whole, the majority of decisions have been good, especially my choice of wife 
- will be married 40 years in May!
I seek advice from many sources but at the end of the day, the decision is mine based on that knowledge.
- will be married 40 years in May!
I seek advice from many sources but at the end of the day, the decision is mine based on that knowledge.
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
4 Feb 10
i've learned i dont look for anyone to approve me or what i belive in or how i live my life. as long i can go out and respect others, the way i want to be treated and respect. that is what matter. i dont judge anyone, i am straight up and very honest. i call it as i see it.
if someone dont like what i belive in or how i feel about something its on them i dont worry about trying to impress anyone or seek thier approval from them, if you go out and worry about it then you are just trying to be like them and then you will be fake. what you see is what you get what i tell everyone, if they dont like it then taugh, leave me alone and dont judge or preach at me because i will give it right back to them
as i see i am a good person who loves to help people out specaily older people.
1 person likes this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
I believe in myself but also like to heard the advices of other people especially those who are closer to me since they give good advice and eventually they serves as my guide but in the end as i observe i am the only one who decide and have to face the consequences of my action whether it end up as a success or failure I have nothing to blame except myself. I really like to test myself when it comes to many things when i found i am successful i go on and when i found out I fail it never stop me as it only challenges me to try again another plan if it would be effective or not. this is my way to test myself if i would be effective or lacking in strategy.
1 person likes this
@midnightbliss (541)
• Philippines
4 Feb 10
seeking approval from other, for me is not denying my self worth. sometimes its out of respect or love. or sometimes, we also need to validate our decisions, specially the important ones. By hearing other peoples opinions, we can have more ideas and more options to choose from.
I think, my happiness won't be complete if I disobeyed my family for the sake of my own happiness.
1 person likes this
@msjanetjones (99)
• United States
4 Feb 10
As someone that was raised to put myself aside and help all others I really spent a great deal of my life denying my own wants, thoughts, beliefs to "please" others.
Only within the last few years have I realized that this not only was harmful to myself but it came at the cost of my family as well. I then began to review my life and have made dramatic changes to the basics of how our house runs.
I believe in a core family value. By that I mean that the direct people in my house, hubby, kids, myself are to come first. That doesn't mean that I don't help others (quite the opposite) but what it does mean is that our health, both physical and mental come above all. THEN we can look outside that circle to other activities, friends etc.
It has really made our household run so much smoother and I am not so overrun with activities and volunteering out all my time to do everything for everyone else.
1 person likes this
@missnv (1)
• Canada
6 Oct 11
I have a real problem with approval seeking from authority figures and have had for many years. I try to get the approval of the one in charge, whether it is the landlord, the boss, the sponsor, whoever, and I do realize it stems from or is very similar to childhood approval seeking issues and is a very horrible thing. It is like remaining a perpetual child. Have been trying to find different ways to heal from this and even went to a councillor which caused serious problems too as I wound up trying to get approval from her...afterall she was the boss. It caused real problems. But it is not necessarily their fault that their clients sometimes regard them as authority figures although I think they do need to understand that that will happen sometimes and use their power accordingly. Anyway, am still strying to deal with this and often look for spiritual answers which I think can be the only way because it is about getting approval from a higher source as well as learning how to approve of ourselves. To continue to look for approval from authority figures is like a constant putdown. It is not their fault, necessarily, except for the abuse of power. I think the answer is in part spiritual as well as learning to believe in yourself.
