The ideal step-parent

Well if its for the kids sake, then I would definitely want my new husband to get along well with my kids. And he should accept my kids as his own.

I would think a parent that would think about the kids for most of the decisions he/she makes, cause just like a normal parent who has kids a step parent will have an effect on a child's life also one that will get along with the child or children and that child has to be able to trust the person who's going to be in their life more than the other parent. There's a whole lot of other stuff but being able to do these few things I think are a few of the most important ones.

This is difficult. Firstly, since I have been VERY happily married for 50 years next month, I cannot imagine myself divorced . . . and I certainly wouldn't have children 5-16 years old! So, with your permission, may I change the scenario a little? I am younger, with children 5-16 and I am widowed. Now, as you would understand, the word "step-father" has really bad connections with me, and I very much doubt I would re-marry anyway (nothing could equal or better the first) but I'll play along. As with my first marriage, I would need to have known the person for a long time, under many circumstances, seeing his reaction to good and bad, and know we had TOTAL RESPECT for each other; that we could implicitly TRUST each other, no matter what. He would have to accept the father role in the complete sense in day-to-day life. Not least in the equation would be the willingness of my children to accept him.

Well I can't really play with your scenario as I am divorced with school age child but the father done with as far as I'm concerned as the loving father can't even be bothered to support his son without me in the picture, which did surprise me. The Greek is most excellent with my son and my son approves whole heartedly, however his son is an issue. He's no problem at all with my son but definitely got a prob with daddy having a woman.

i think they would have to be,understanding,patient and not affraid to disipline the kids,and if he has kids of his own,then to treat them all the same

My children come first, so any man in my life would have to realize this, and accept it. Ideally, that man should have children of his own, and those children should come first in his world as well.

That my Children like him and trust him That I can trust him with my Children That he will love and care for my Children as though they are his That he never hurts my children physically or verbally That my Children respect him and he respects my Children

that he/she likes kids in general and yours in particular and possibly have one about the same age

Oh Gawd I would not want to be in that situation! I hate the whole idea of step parents and such, it just seems so complicated and messy. I mean I have trust issues to begin with, so if I was with a divorcee who had kids with his previous wife, I'd always worry about the bond between them. Obviously there was once a lot of love, and they have the kids to tie them together.. I'd always wonder if that flame is going to reignite at some point. Then of course there's the jealousy between real parent and step parent. Would I be okay if my husband remarried and there was another woman in my kid's lives? Oh I don't think so! I do not share well, especially not my kids! My husband is the same way. We've talked about what would happen if one of us were to die suddenly, would we be okay with the other remarrying. We both hate the idea, neither of us want our kids to have parents other than ourselves. Sorry, I know it's not what you were asking, but I can't honestly even fathom letting my kids have a step parent. IF I were to divorce or somehow lose my husband, I'd probably stay single for many many years.

Love of children and patience, patience, patience. And YOU must be able to share disciplinary duties with him instead of shutting him out in that department. He has to be man enough to stand up to you and you have to be woman enough to discuss responsibilities without fighting. The two of you have to have the same morales, and be able to agree on how to raise children. If you don't, chances are the divorce court looms large again. The birth father of your children should not be shut out and you should never compare the two men. You must demand that your children show respect to all the adults. The birth father should not be allowed to come between the two of you. If you have something planned with the new husband, birth father must understand stepdad is the new man of your house and he comes first. Okay you asked for characteristics for a stepfather, but that isn't enough. If all parties are not compatible, no matter how great the new stepfather is, there is little chance of a marriage succeeding.

I am divorced for many years and have two boys who are now high, all the time I was afraid that it will repeat the experience of a failed marriage, and especially wrong for my sons father , perhaps as if in a given time , someone would have understood that a man who wants me me I must take the package with them, now I would not have been one, perhaps I was wrong, I had the patience to see if one man can be a friend with my boys. Now is probably too late to think about it, or just trying to find the guilty, just maybe if I am guilty as the principal chose not to let anyone approach us, me and my boys, but If I had to say what I wanted from a man that I wanted me and my boys, I'd say that the first rule to be a friend of my sons, and he respect myself as a mother and as a woman.Ans of course to try to be for us a real man and why not a good friend.

I would want them to be good to my kids.... When you remarry with kids they just don't marry you it is a packaged deal.... When I married my current husband he came with 4 children.... I treated them the same as I would my own child..... Now I have 2 grandchildren also......When you love someone you love everything about them even their children.....

The ideal partner for me is that that partner loves my kids as his/her own. Anyway, its not their fault to be in that situation and they are human beings coping up in this world, they need warm family and love. You seldom find such, but pray to God earnestly.

For mids it's very hard to accept a step-parent mainly because their whole life was spent wih a parent they got used to. It's a change and i's not easy for them, It depends on their age too. If they are ypungfer, you may choose whoever you like because they'll get used to the stp-parent faster than lets say a 16 year old .

Respect...for the kids and myself....the ability to respect other peoples time....respect their choices.....and when it comes to kids alot of people don't respect what they need or want....so they need to be listened to...

hi dawnald For me I would want my new mate to really like children and be able to view my children as his own. I would want him to think of them as his children and not as steps. If he got along well with my children and I was really truly in love again,then he would be ideal. He must be warm hearted, but also intelligent and able to parent my children and also would be smart enough to back me up if my children tried to get around me by going to him for something.

as i am a step-father with my wife's two kids, aging 17 and 18 already, i guess the best thing and the most important is understanding and friendship. we met when they were still 2 and 3.

I'd say he would have to like children, love would be nice, and money not to be overlooked, Then of course he'd be a nice guy who was very kind, I wouldn't be attracted to him unless he had that talent.

Oh God -it is Friday! First of all- you would come as a packageand it would have to be a mature man. Try to answer this later. Have to leave to run to the Villa. Interesting guests. Man is a retired actor/producer/writer and is finishing up a musical scheduled for Broadway. Bye bue, don't remarry until you have spoken to me! If it is you - I mean

I am not only a mother but I am a step mother as well. My stepson is now 18 but I have been in his life since he was 5 years old.. I would want someone who enjoyed kids. Thats first and foremost.. Someone that is ok with the kids father or mother still in there lives..ANd someone who is not just looking to play house for a little while.. WHen I met my husband I was only 20 years old he was 26 with a 5 year old son. He says he knew I would make a great stepmother because of how caring I was with his son. We got along great