Do you think a once abusive person can change?

I would be lying if I said yes... it may not be another woman after you but they will hit and take their frustrations out on something.... 9 times out of 10 it is another women.... These men think that women are inferior to them and that is why they do it... I do not know how many times I heard I'm sorry or I'll change but that is not what kept me there for so long.... It was my son.... There really is not much help out there for for domestic violence women especially in a small town.... I know I tried....

The goal of therapy is to change the abuser's way of thinking and give him (or her) better outlets for their frustrations. I'm sure that it is possible, just as parenting classes CAN stop child abuse, if it hasn't already gone too far. I don't believe that I'd want to take the chance, though.

My personal experience once a beater always a beater. I guess though that the abuser could continue on to other relationships without laying a hand on the other but I've yet to see it.

I believe they can change. I know people like that in real life. A friend of mine abused his former girlfriend of three years. But they got separated. He is with a new girlfriend now who is serving in a church. She is the one that helped him change and find his life. How he already change and he already asked for forgiveness of her former girlfriend. I am happy of what has happened in his life now. I believe they can still change if they want to. Everyone deserves a second chance. They can change if they will realize their mistake and if they want to live a better life. For me those people who abuse people do not have peace inside f them. They will only find peace if they will change their wrong doings and if they truly love themselves.

I don't have a personal experience with this one but I really do believe that people change, anyone can do it so long as they really want to. it's a long shot but still possible. and anything is possible, though not probable.

Unless the change will come from him, with no pressure from anybody else, he will never change. You must remember: "Change must begin from within"

I think an abusive person can change if they are willing to work at it and get therapy they would need. I dont think a person is stuck in their ways IF they want to make a chang to take the steps needed.

i think it would be really hard for them to change. they ought to have an extensive counseling and psychological consultations before being "cured" and safe not to commit the same abusive acts to others yet again.

i think abusive people can not change unless they go to rehabilitation and have themselves "cured" or rehabilitated so they will go away from doing such, and it shall keep them from abusing their kids, husbands or wives.

Yes, I think anybody can change if they really want to. If they don't want to change, the chances are that they won't though. I am a guy, and have not got abused from my wife, but if she did start to abuse me physically, I wouldn't hang around. I have three sisters and none of them have been physically abused either, but I know that they wouldn't give their partners a second chance. As a therapist, I have worked with both women and men who have been victims of physical abuse, and when I asked them to bring their partners so that we could all work together to resolve such issues, some of the partners mostly refused. They obviously wouldn't do what was necessary to stop such situations occurring. It is a very diffictult thing to decide when you are a victim of whether to leave or not, and it is probably best that a victim does leave until there is proof that the abuser is going to do something about his/her behaviour. If it happens again though, after going back into the relationship, the chances are strong that it will always happen. So the victim has come big decisions to make at that point. It is easy for people outside to see what to do, but not so easy for the victim. So gentle support and encouragement is needed here. _Derek

Maybe they learn from their mistakes when someone leaves them.....I don't know. My ex was abusive and with the next relationship the same way....but now as he has gotten older I don't hear things like that anymore about him.....but his new girlfriend also has made him cut down and his drinking....

People that abuse others seldom, if ever, change. The people that say that the "ex's" don't abuse them are in denial. Or, it is still the honeymoon stage and the abuse hasn't started. If you were to go back through abusers lives through their childhood, you would find that tendency to be abusive from when they were very young. My brother is a serious abuser and he was all his life, from abusing animals to abusing me, to abusing his wife. He also would abuse people he worked with. He is now 62 years old and you can be sure he still is an abuser. To be fair, there are times that abusers do change. Sometimes they get the crap beat out of them and they find that it isn't so much fun to be either the giver or receiver. Then there are those who want to change and get the help they need to change. But usually, it is like changing a personality, it just doesn't happen.

I believe that if a person really does have the desire to change, then it is something that they are able to do. Now, I don't think that from going from an abusive person to a non-abusive person is a change that is easy to make on their own. I think that in order to make this kind of a change in one's life, they will have to go through a lot of therapy and understanding the reason that they are the way that they are.

True,true but it's possible to change because

It depends, but majority of significant others that are physically abusive can always repeat the same mistakes that they did to their previous relationships. Perhaps this can be brought by lack of self-improvement from physical rehabilitation, only a few managed to improve themselves for good. I always believe in the saying that "once a cheater, always a cheater" so the same goes for "once a beater, always a beater".

it would be very difficult for the beater to change. when it comes to this matter beaters who choose to undergo therapy to try and change their behavior take around 3 years just to change. its not just about stopping the beating but changing the entire mindset of the beater. thats how difficult it is to change such behavior so for the most part they can't be changed since most of them don't take such drastic measures just to get help. Even then it still may not work.

Well I think that if a person is abusive in nature he would remain so if he is not taught a very very hard lesson. It won't suddenly go and vanish. maybe he would put off for some time but it can resurface back at any point of time.

I personally think that once a beater always a beater but I guess if they get themself help then I guess it could be possible to stop

I believe an abusive person can change. It depends on the abusers motivation to change. Most times they can't do it on their own. They need help.

i'm not sure about this one,coz my ex husband used to hit me,and he has hit his new wife aswell,but i've also known people that have hit partners in the past,but don't do it any more