One Chapter Closes, and Another Begins
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
February 6, 2010 12:08pm CST
My youngest son was sentenced to 4-7 years in a maximum security prison for a class B felony. What I find absolutely crazy was the fact that they transferred him to another jail for 2 weeks, then to a prison for 1 week and now he is in yet another waiting to be transferred to the prison where he will serve out his term. The prison he is in now is 2 1/2 hours from where I live. This makes it difficult for me to travel to see him. We do keep in touch with letters and now that he isn't seeing me on a weekly basis, he writes more often.
My eldest son is waiting to be sent to prison. I am not certain at this time what he is facing for time. He called me collect about a week ago and because I could not accept the call he would say a few words and hang up. Then he would call back and I would give my answer when I picked up the phone. Then we would repeat the process.
By the end of the calls I was broken. My heart couldn't take any more. I cried. I sobbed. I cried some more. I cried for over an hour. When I finally stopped my eyes were so puffy they hurt. Rest was a concern for me. How would I rest after having such a crying spell? When I got to bed I prayed. I managed to get only a couple of prayers for strength for me and for my children and I fell fast asleep. Rest was mine. I was blessed.
So now I closed one chapter and will begin another. I cannot wait to get to the end of the story where we all live happily ever after.
10 people like this
24 responses
@GardenGerty (160883)
• United States
6 Feb 10
I am so sorry my friend. My son has some difficulties as well, but he will only serve 60 days, and it is local. The thing is, he lost his house, and the estranged dil will not let me over to help remove stuff unless she is there, and often it is not convenient for her to be there. Supposedly the house gets locked up on Monday. I feel overwhelmed. Like you, I have to pray a lot. I keep you on my list. I write sticky notes while I am on the computer, and take those lists to bed with me. I do find it calming. I have a bitter attitude. You help me remain sweet. Why can you not accept his collect call? Just remember, when you feel alone, that your name is on a little green sticky and I am asking for blessings for you.
3 people like this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
6 Feb 10
You truly are a "sweet lady" Thanks for sharing your favorite saying "Give your problems to God, he will be up all night anyway". I consider myself so blessed to have met so many kind caring people here on mylot, you two are at the top of the list.
2 people like this
@mzz663 (2772)
• United States
6 Feb 10
That has to be hard to deal with and am sorry that your sons are in the positions that they are in. Is there a way that they can get an education or some kind of trade for when they are released so that neither of you have to go through this again? I hope that you find the peace and rest that you need so much!
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
They will be given opportunities to learn a trade. For that I am grateful for. They will also have the chance to get their high school diplomas. Some good can come out of a bad situation.
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
6 Feb 10
I feel so sorry for you. Not only you are not going to see your kids, but also you have real problem with visits.
I don't know why they end up in jail, but hope their life and your life is going to be easier in few years.
I will pray for you and your kids.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (93767)
• United States
7 Feb 10
That is an awfully heavy burden. It would be heartbreaking enough to have one son locked up, but two is, I just cannot imagine. I really hope that something changes to where you will be able to see or communicate with them both in a better way that you are doing right now. I'll definitely say a prayer for all three of you.
2 people like this
@aganatrade (29)
• Philippines
6 Feb 10
We all have our crosses to carry, missions to do, and more often we don't seem to understand why. For most people, problems appear to be so difficult to solve, or maybe, there are no solutions to be found. The whole spectrum of one's life is totally different from every person.. and the question of WHY always doesn't have a concrete answer. Reasons come at God's own perfect time, as well as solutions. Keep the faith!!
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
6 Feb 10
My heart breaks for you and your sons. Somehow, someway you and they will get thru this. Its just so hard at the time. like you said before, at least they are alive. Lets hope that your other son will be in the same prison as his brother. That way when you do visit it can be at the same time. I also hope that they transfer him to a place that is closer to you. You know the answer when you can't sleep, pray and pray some more. God will let you slip off the sleep. He knows you need it. Take care, I just said a prayer for you. Sending you Lots of gentle hugs...
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
I feel that we go to him with our problems our joys and we are blessed when he hears them and takes away our anxiety and fears and raises our joy to higher levels. Big huggers to you.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
God has been there for both me and my children. He brought them from the depths of He!! and I am grateful for that. I say my prayers every night. Sometimes I don't get but a few words out and find that I have drifted off into peaceful sleep. It is only until I wake that I realize I received a blessing. Big huggers to you.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
6 Feb 10
It has to be hard to go through this. I am glad that you have gotten some rest. I hope you can find some peace soon. Just remember all you have to do is give me a yell and I will be there for you.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Aside from my recent meltdown, I am doing quite well. I guess it was a relief to have a chapter end. My heart ached as I couldn't talk to my son. I did get to talk to him a few days later. It cost me $27 to talk with him though. That isn't going to become a habit. Writing is the cheapest way to communicate. Occasionally I will let them call but not more than once a month. I would go broke if I let them call more than that!
@lecanis (16647)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
6 Feb 10
I have no idea what to say to this, really, but my heart goes out to you. I do hope that both your sons come out the other side better.
My own family's experiences with addiction and the legal system were all seen by me through the eyes of the child, not the parent, so I can't say I've really had this experience. I do know how hard it is to have to wonder why a person you love has to go through these things though, and to accept it.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
I decided when this all took place that I wouldn't let it consume me. Life is too short to wallow in ones sorrow. I choose to be happy.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Feb 10
hi ElusiveButterfly my heart goes out to you as I have no idea how I would feel if it were my son in that situation, I know I would cry too, and then feel that it would do no good. I hope that with time off for good behavior your youngest son will be out in not over four years and a few months. I am sitting here with tears in my own eyes, and wishing I was close to give you a hug or two.I take it the end of the story will come when both sons are out of prison. what a hard row for a mom to have to hoe, and I cannot fathom how this all came about for them, I hope your eldest son does not get that large a prison sentence. Now I do hope when they finally get out they will be rehabilitated and never have to face the hell they have faced and have put you through.I send my prayers to you and your sons that in time you will all have a happily ever after ending. hope my fellow mylotter will all join in sending our prayer power to you and yours.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Hatley thank you for your kind words. I hope and pray too that my sons will be rehabilitated when they are released. I wouldn't wish this upon any person. Addictions are not pretty.
@techgurl (451)
• Greece
6 Feb 10
Its sad what is happening with your children, but didn't you teach them right from wrong? Class B felony is a very serious crime. I feel for you since maybe you gave your best effort to raise them well, but I also feel for the people they've hurt and their families. I hope they will learn from this awful experience, realize their mistakes and come out as better and stronger persons.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
6 Feb 10
DearGod in Heaven - what torture you are going through!My heart cries for you in the awful time of worry and stress. I am still continuing to pray for your children my dear. I amg lad that you are supporting them in the best way that you can. This is so heartbreaking for your family. I will not stop praying for you all. Many blessings
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Thank you for your continued prayers. I know that my friends are there for me. It comforts me. Big huggers to you.
@messageme (2821)
• United States
9 Feb 10
May I ask what both of them are going to prison for? Or is it too personal? I'm sure you love your kids with all your heart, but should you really be crying for their mistakes? Wouldn't you want them to be there to learn their lesson.
1 person likes this
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Prison does give inmates a great opportunity. It gives them time to THINK! Consequences for our actions can hurt. Sometimes it is the only way to learn. Never hide your grief over this to your sons. It might be just the added consequence that will lead them to the right direction in life.Remember, you are exactly what they need in their lives. Guide them in the right direction regardless of whether you think they are listening.Calm your heart knowing you are doing your very best!
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
6 Feb 10
Thank you for your comments. When I visited them I would often cry in front of them. There were times when I became silent as they spoke. They knew how this effected me. They understood my pain. I can only hope and pray that they will come through this as better people.
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
9 Feb 10
I am so sorry to hear about both of your boys and the position they are in. I was very sad to read this and will be thinking of you and praying for you and your family that things will get better. It has to be very hard on you that both of your boys will be spending time in prison. Hopefully they will learn from their mistakes and be able to move on and make their mom proud during their time in prison and when they are released.
1 person likes this
@Lindalinda (4111)
• Canada
7 Feb 10
Oh my dear lady, my heart goes out to you. I wish for you to stay strong and become the beacon of light and hope for a better future for your boys. Now they have time to think, now they have time to get a high school diploma. There is no excuse now. Time with nothing to do weighs heavily on a person. Encourage them also to learn a trade, or get a college education in prison. Many people have achieved this. Writing letters also hones their verbal skills, improves their vocabulary and gives them a chance to become close with you. Time flies and hopefully 4 to 7 years will be much shorter if your son is a model prisoner. Encourage him to keep his nose clean and follow the rules. If you can move away from the old neighbourhood. While the boys are gone do lots of research to find support systems that will help them find a job and a lifeline once they get out. Best of luck to you.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
7 Feb 10
BLESS YOUR HEART, I really don't know how u have lived through all this w/out losing it.I admire u very much & wish the best for u & your children. Take care & stay strong as u can, i know it's got to be awful for u.
1 person likes this
@jeweels (17)
• Bulgaria
7 Feb 10
Of course you need from happyness,but you must make it. When you makes mistakes,who can help you? Who? Nobody,because first you must think and then do something. Your sons must learn from that and they must go on the right way. Wish you good luck!
1 person likes this
