Why do some people always have negative words for everyone?

Very well put bjcyrix. 'lOW SELF ESTEEM' IS somehting I came across in many responses.Somehow I always felt that these people had too mch of a superiority complex because they express it in such a manner.But many people have attributed inferiority complex, insecurity an d low self esteem.I am unable to accept this totally because the particular people I had in mind are not really like that[but who knows what is deep wihtin a person's mind?] Great addition to the post and I would like to hear your views about this superiority complex.Do you thinkk that this is also a way of hiding their 'self perceived inadequacy' or jealousy'? Or don't you think jealousy is one of the reasons?

Superiority complex and negative words do go well together. I mean those two things do complement each other in a way. When one thinks over highly of himself/herself then he/she would only see others as negative or inferior beings. Though superiority complexes wouldnt really care about others because they would usually think other people are insignificant. They would think along the lines of "I know Im better than you so I dont really care about you.". As for jealousy, I think it is definitely one of the reasons but it may be more attributed to inferiority complex. Being able to see what one lacks because of comparing with others, that is a sign of low self esteem. Feeling that one is not good enough even though they try so hard, and having to see that others could easily get what one has been trying so hard for, that's an avenue for jealousy and envy to creep in. So one would resort to saying negative things about the other.

Yes .That was a great addition to the post.Superiority complex does not have the need to respect anyone.THis low selfesteem and inferiority complex all give rise to a bit if jealousy and as you had wonderfully written in your forst response they put down people to make themselves look better.

And that was a very good responseDeepak! It si a pleasure reading your response..How right you are! DOes it give people some pleasure in belittling others? And what I cannot understand is thAT these said people would not have some extraordinary merit themselves [have seen them for a very very long time and have always wondered whether jealousy made them behave this way Deepak--jealousy can spring on account of any number of factors isn't it? I know you are a very positive person and you always give and accept praise with good grace.And it does not cost much to give a heartfelt word of praise.

Many thanks Kala for positive feed back on my response. I feel happy to read your comments. You always keep encouraging me and don't forget to appreciate my response. Yes, you are right that jealosy factor could also make some people think negative, actually some negative traits are inter-related like jealousy, suspicion, distrust and envy and we come across such people on many occasions occasions in our life, who always appear dissatisfied with their lives and want to belittle others. They are in more pain to see happiness of others then their own sorrows. Have a nice day! Deepak

They are in more pain to see happiness of others then their own sorrows....well put deepak, thats exactly what it is.But come to think of it we start our life with negative feelings.A child encounters 'No' for eveything from its mother and others.Dont touch that,dont go there, dont do that, dont sit there...or else it is commanded to do something, do this now or eat it now...You know we fill negativity in life by our actions, so as we grow up we are scared of doing anything at all lest we fail....But , in some with circumstances and by coming across with different kinds of people this trait might become less but the opposite might be the case with others...

mANY PEOPLE have shared your theory . I am sure that this is on account of a number of reasons , yours certainly being one of them.THanks for the response.

Well this is whta confounds me msfrancisco.But when it is based on your experience I do accept it.The people whom I was referring to just revelled in the praise they got but could not part with praise.

got your point friend...no problem with me. maybe you just have to accept the fact that the person is so self-centered that he can't even praise other people or recognize anything good in others. so that you will not feel bad about this.

But why shuld man never appreciate the beautiful world and his countless blessings?

True .There may be any nuber of reasons behind their behaviour.But there is no MR OR ms Perfect in this world.IT wuld be better if everyone realises this but well, what each does is to one's own.We can only keep away.

Thanks for the great response as usual .Is it a low selfesteem or a high self esteem drannh? This is something that confounds me.I too have htought that this arises out of some inferiority complex ; but subsequent behaviour of people whom I have observed for years together has also led me to believe that this arises on account of some inbuilt superiority .

I think that only extremely LOW self-esteem would cause a person to try to pretent they are better than others. Everyone has something special to give in life and those who can look at others and only see something inferior are in my opinion too occupied with their own selves. I think only people who feel insignificant inside would go around trying to make the world view them as "important." They have an inbuilt sense that something is lacking in their lives, but those whose lives truly are full and rich do not need to pose as superior ;-)

Excellent elaboration.I understand what you have said and I wholly agree with this[I can relate to this particular characteristic I saw in the people Iwas mentioning]

Don't I know this? I have seen this for a very long time with som e people and was wondering about this trait.Well you say it is on account of pessimism.The first response also said the same thing though there have been oter aspects discussed. We natutally have to accept them Rose.THere is no second opinion about that and personally this does not bother me ;it would only make the concerned person miserable and each to one's own.I was only wondering about the reason or some complex behind this.

Jealousy is very much a part of this.And it is sad and to their own misery.

The main reason could be that these kind of people probably had very critical parents.Such people received little praise but were quite used to criticism either of themselves or others.

It is also because htey feel too good aboutthemselves isn't it?That is why noone else matches up to their mental standards.

I think some of it is because they do not feel good enough about theirselves.... They are suffering inside about something whether it is self-esteem or something else and they want everyone else to suffer with them..... They cannot let people be happy because they are not happy in themselves..... I say this because I know people like this..... MY husband and I have been together for 5 years married for 3 and every once in awhile people will try to start trouble with rumors to try to get us angry at each other..... They can't stand it because we are happy, own our home, own are vehicles and are not struggling to much financially....

Exactly Vathsala! I waas just writing this in my comment to drannh. Either it si too much of a superiority or an inferiority complex.

Thanks for that great response.And Iagree with your last sentence thta it is sad and moreso because they deny themselves the simple pleasures and joys of life.And so many aspects have been discussed in this post and you have touched upon many of them .

kalav, Thanks for your kind response. It's really hard sometimes to articulate correctly about negativism, both because it sounds NEGATIVE as well, and sometimes we all seem negative about matters we disagree with or things we do not like. It's okay, especially when it's not an "established pattern". There is a fine line between "correction" and criticism, and it revolves around the spirit or intent. We should all be able to praise the good in others and put a smile in our hearts, as well as on our faces; praise works wonders for all concerned.

Well they do not need any treatment ;if we allow them to get too close and demoralise us then we would need treatment. It is good thta we are able to identify and attribute this behaviour to some cause.

Well, friend. It takes much patience and great heart to appreciate things. As we the good people are grown up up with these thoughts by birth genetically from our ancestors. The case of the negative people are also the same as they inherit their attitudes from their ancestors. All we can is to do is to let them roam in their own world and stay patient so that time and situation can teach them a very good lesson to learn. I think this the best way to correct them without interfering them. Have a nice day.

What a fantastic response! It is true that we may tend to become judgemental based on our own selves but the trick lies in curtailing it and think about the right of every other person to do what they think fit and be aware of the limitations of others.THanks for the response.

Oh, thank you for the compliment :) Glad to be able to share and contribute. Take care! :)

Perhaps they sense competition and are unwilling to part with praise.GOod point indeed.THnaks for the response.

Thanks! When it is competition then I think that person is thinking that s/he also deserves the praise. :D

Not to worry."Misery truly loves company" has not been said by anyone so far in the same words. But, because the topic is such there are many answers discussing various aspects, like jealousy, insecurity,upbringing, misery ,inferiority complex etc.., And each answer wil contribute in some way to the discussion.Thanks for the participation.

Thanks for dropping in and giving your views on thsi old discussion topic.I had such a varietty of responses and today you have further enriched the post.It si true that upbringing does have a significant impact on the way one behaves.THeir pessimistic outlook would make such people only miserable. But Ihave seen people who have been well loved and praised too have this dort of difficulties.But who knows what goes on thier mind?

I agree that the way a child is brought up has an impact.Your last sentence about what Socrates said was so profound.In our regional language there is a song that says that before we point one finger at the opponent [criticising him for something] we should realise that three fingers are dorected at our own selves.

Well thta may also be there.But I have no real problem that cannot be sorted out.I just took it up for discussion because I wanted to analyse why this happens this way.

uhm a sort of psychological study. I understand you. Gobless you and more power to your research.!

It is a valid point and and it would be better to give them the benefit of adoubt at times and get along with them if we are forced to.

You have attributed this t pessimism.Come to think of it I feel it is the case. THanks for adding your view Professor and sorry for the late comment.