How do you deal with your mother when she wants to starts an argument?
By scaflone8
@scaflone8 (190)
Philippines
February 8, 2010 10:58am CST
I'm not quite sure if the question is right but anyway...My mom and i last night had a big fight...Harsh words were exchanged and some very painful realities were revealed..But it started from a very little thing..
what happened last night was, my boyfriend was called me, we chatted and he always asked what i had for the dinner. Its a common thing for a lover to do such inquiries to each other and my mom was sitting right next to me while i was on the phone with my lover. Out of nowhere she said "Why don't you also tell him you have an its on your _ _ _ _ and u touch your _ _ _ _ _ " every now and then... i was so shocked and i asked her what in the world is wrong with her. From there the argument got bigger and bigger...my mistake was i responded negatively to her which i could not help..If it were u in that situation where your mom starts firing up an argument...what would u do?
8 responses
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
24 Apr 10
Well this is really sensitive and i feel mom is feeling really insecured and worried about you. So dont go for an argument when she is really angry. Leave her for sometime, she will surely feel that she is wrong about the way she spoke to you. Just be patient to win the love of both mom and your love.
@keishmhe14 (39)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
Id rather not to respond at all because sometimes mothers are just so protective. She just want her child to be in good condition.
How old are you by the way?? if you're still young (an age not suitable to get married) then maybe she doesnt like your boyfriend and would want you to break him up OR she just wants to finish your studies without any barriers like boys. why would she do that at the first place?hmm...
If you're in the age of marrying somebody, well then maybe she wants you to find somebody else who is more suited for you, because believe it or not, mother's instinct are most of the time true and correct.
You see, when our ego hurts unconsciously we can do something that hurts others. We may sometimes misunderstood her, but believe she just love you. But disrespecting you is another thing. So better talk to her ok?? She loves you.
@homeshoppers (6166)
• Philippines
20 Feb 10
if my mum start an argument, i just hug her and smile to her and tell her to avoid being angry coz i already see her wrinkles and that she must avoid being angry to avoid those wrinkles. then she just smile back at me and told me and advise me not to do things that make her angry. our mother just want our hug, kiss and smile. their madness will be gone if we do that to them. coz we are her soft spot in her heart.
@dgtempe1 (87)
• United States
12 Feb 10
Hi there. I can see that you are feeling badly about what happened. I had a similar situation with my mother and you may not believe it, but she changed herself, her attitude with me, (i had some old hard feelings over some things), when i confronted her with MY feelings as well.
You may want to go to her nicely, and ask her what brought this on. It may be that she feels that your lover is taking advantage by eating at your home?? Listen to her, and tell her that you could help with dinner once in awhile, or have him bring over some food once a week or something to pacify her.
Chances are your mom feels just as badly as you do right now.
Try a little kindness and tenderness and you will see a change. Good luck!
@bestylish (922)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
Well... me and my mother fight almost every night. I deal with her by just not responding to what she is saying. It's no use even if I try to defend myself. It will only make things worse. 
@prettyface1978 (69)
• Philippines
16 Apr 10
Hi! Maybe your Mom just had a bad day.I understand that it is so irritating when a person say those things to you without any good reason.For me, I ask my Mother why that is her reaction? As long as you are not doing something bad,you need a explaination. But of course you have to be calm and respect her because whatever happen she is still your Mother. Or you can ask her afterwards when she is not in bad mood anymore so that you can talk to her.
@phoenyxstarr (132)
• United States
8 Feb 10
Wow, I'd say your mom sounds jealous of your relationship with your boyfriend.
I honestly don't know what I'd do in your situation. If I could, I would probably move out. If not, then I would try to stay away from her as much as possible & definitely not talk to my boyfriend when she's around. If you go that route, make sure you let him know what's going on with your mom.
@shan0822 (433)
• United States
8 Feb 10
If I were you, I just went out of the room I will never start an argument with my mom. Or I just make face to her, and then go to another room to avoid talking with her in that moment!
Sometimes parents are just like kids, they need we concede to them a little bit. they are our family, no need to argument with them. Just go tell her you sorry, I think your mom will understand and maybe tell you she feel sorry too.
