How often do you have misunderstanding problems with your partner?
By daliaj
@daliaj (5674)
India
February 8, 2010 11:55pm CST
I was mad at my husband, last night because he said that I am a pessimist. How can he say that? I feel I am not a pessimist. I don't worry about many minor issues that I come across, but I always expect that there is a chance that good or bad can happen. I believe that I am being practical, not a pessimist.
How often do you have misunderstanding problems with your partner?
2 people like this
16 responses
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
9 Feb 10
Hi daliaj.. sorry to know about your misunderstandings.. hope everything gets sorted out soon.. it happens to me rarely in some matters our thinkings are different and that point some misunderstandings arises but it will not last for long.. we both will discuss and sort it out then and there it self.. so it should not effect both of us..
1 person likes this
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@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
9 Feb 10
yes dear I agree with you.. and also I can understand your feelings now we cant expresss our feelings on phone or on chat so interacting directly will be more easier to solve the problem.. hope you join him soon my wishes for you..
1 person likes this
@daliaj (5674)
• India
9 Feb 10
That is great. It should be the way to treat it. We also do the same, but it is a little difficult for us now because both of us live in two different countries. He is in a different country as a part of his job and soon I am planning to join with time. We were able to sort to it out in the same day and be done with that. But, it is a big difference when both the people are together. A warm hug can do a lot more than many words. Do you agree?
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@thuhuong (823)
• United States
9 Feb 10
My husband and I met not knowing each other's language well. He vietnamese, me english. So we spoke brokenly until I picked up the language and he still speaks vietnamese. I think I put a little effort in understanding him but I don't ask for him to do the same. If he wants to fine but if he doesn't that's fine as well. When we fight and I can't express myself well, I start speaking english to him so that he can fully understand my tone of feeling. However, I learned from vietnamese that the words we use in english are so general that it's deeper in his. We get into little fights like 'I didn't mean it like that' and the other way around when I'm speaking english and he doesn't understand it's joke. However we communicate deeply in the language of love so the communication bearer has gotten better because of that. :P
@daliaj (5674)
• India
10 Feb 10
It is great that both of you are trying an effort to learn each other's language. My husband's mother tongue is English and mine is Malayalam, which is a language of India. I also talk English, but I am not very good in that. But, there will be still small issues due to difference in language and culture. He is doing and effort to learn my language. Anyway, we are able to manage the issues and the issues help us realize the deepness of love between us.
@bamrahkirti (1821)
• India
9 Feb 10
I hope the misunderstanding settles down fast.
Me and my husband are completely different personalities.Our thinking and emotions never match with each other.Whenever i discuss something with him,we end up fighting .I still wonder we are staying together.But i am trying to understand him for the sake of my child.I have to live with him.That is the truth and i should accept him the way he is,not trying to express myself.![](/Content/images/emotes/sad.gif)
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@daliaj (5674)
• India
9 Feb 10
That is a great understanding. We should also think that the other person has the right to express his feelings that we have. We should also respect the partner and admit the way he is as he understands the wife and admits how she is. A person with this understand will be able to sort out the issue, settle it, and leave the issues for ever. The love between the couple has magic power to heal the pain caused during misunderstanding.
1 person likes this
@nocturn98 (956)
• Venezuela
9 Feb 10
We usually get misunderstandings when I raise my voice just a little bit just to emphasize a point. She always thought that I'm getting mad when I'm really not. I hate it when that happens.
@daliaj (5674)
• India
9 Feb 10
The same thing happens here. When I tell him that I am not happy about something, he is thinking that I am very much worried about the issue and feeling depressed asbout the issue the whole day, but I am not. If I don't like something that come across at work, home or with friends, I inform that to him. That is only a dilike express and it doesn't mean that I am worried about that. He thinks that I am always worried about things.
@thuhuong (823)
• United States
9 Feb 10
I get that with my husband all the time. I find that when he's telling me something, he's emphasizing it in a way that makes me feel belittled. I tell him that sometimes it's the words you use that makes the point worse and he sounds mean. Not to sound like a kid but little fights like that do happen. :)
@goldmine275 (48)
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
hey girl! Don't worry about what your husband is saying. Maybe, he has a problem he never brought up to you. Why don't you discover. Don't criticized your husband so that he cannot criticized you. A wife must help his husband in every area of his life. Be a wife a husband he confident with. Have a good day!
@kaylayoe (293)
• United States
10 Feb 10
Well, I'm not married but I spend everyday with my boyfriend of 3 years. We used to fight a lot when we started dating. He was controlling and I wasn't going to deal with it. But we made it through and now we have little misunderstandings that are over within like ten minutes. It's like once or twice a week at most. As long as we communicate our feelings we don't stay angry. In my opinion communication is the key in and relationship.
@illfavors (590)
• United States
9 Feb 10
Not very often. We stay honest with each other and communicate openly. If we have a misunderstanding, which is rare to none, we always talk it out.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
9 Feb 10
it has been too long ago that me and my wife had a misunderstanding. maybe, a simple one or a light misunderstanding, with kids as the cause. if something happened between us today, we will just don't talk for a while or a night. but on the following day when we wake up, we'll make it sure, all has been settled...
@yogambal_64 (1014)
• India
9 Feb 10
Hi daliaj, I have some point of misunderstanding, and argument with my partner almost once every day like when he does some silly mistake and I point it out and he cooly says he never did it and it was my assumption and so many others like this. He never accepts it when he makes any mistake and I cannot stand it, and this is how all starts.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
9 Feb 10
Hi Daliaj,
We seldom have misunderstanding. We enjoy each other's company and do our best to appreciate each other and not find faults and focus on our weaknesses. in this way misunderstanding is lessen. we too avoid having so much expectations from each other. we respect each other's space, moods and being. then we used to say i love yous to affirm each other and at the end of the day give each other hugs and kisses.
@Ragtime99 (11)
• United States
9 Feb 10
I have misunderstanding problems with my wife nearly every day. I realize that there are some fundamental differences in the psychological and emotional makeup of men and women. Perhaps I should talk about different communication styles instead, since I'm not academically qualified to properly discuss the field of Psychology. Fact is, we communicate differently. I think that the key difference between her style and mine is that the ratio of reason vs emotion is much higher in opposite directions. I say pretty much say exactly what I mean to say and she often interprets it according to what she assumes I really meant. Her assumptions are usually wrong. She, on the other hand, does not necessarily mean exactly what she says verbatim, but whatever words she uses are meant to convey exactly what she meant, which I often misinterpret. This is because I instinctively expect her words to convey her exact meaning. Over the years (19), we have made some progress. For example: if we are out riding in the car and she says: "Do you want some ice cream, honey?" , she really saying, "Honey, I want some ice cream."
So if I just say "no thanks" and ride past the ice cream parlor because I didn't want any, the "coolness in the air" will let me know I missed her communication.
@cloud31 (5809)
•
9 Feb 10
I have misunderstanding with my partner several times a week,sometimes its almost everyday for tiny little problems but never we had it last for few hours maybe 2 hours later everything will be fine,.We don't let things unsettled till we can understand each other.We end up our misunderstanding by saying i'm sorry.
Its normal with partners to have misunderstanding just don't let it go so far.
Happy Lotting ,,God bless !
@natjohn20 (200)
• Philippines
9 Feb 10
Hmm Alot!, every time me and my girlfriend have a fright together because of something that I have done. I sometimes or always misunderstood the problem of my partner I tent to avoid and don't listen to hear cuz I don't want a fight to arise from the problem. I know deep inside that I am wrong and is the very roots the cause of the problem. We fought because of my misunderstanding and I think I need to listen more on the side of my partner what she can tell me about.
@Allie_xoxo (1063)
• Canada
9 Feb 10
Every journey together has its bumps. My partner and I are very good at communicating, we pride ourselves on communicating and we talk about it often. The only way to be with someone is to be with them openly.
@Nirishasol (879)
• India
9 Feb 10
Hi, In my life we often fight because my boyfriend he do have possessive thinking and he always put blame on me. If i talk with somebody else he used to fight with me and starts misunderstanding between us.
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