can you forgive your wife, after catching her sleeping arround?????

Whoa.. this is a very interesting topic. I believe that marriage is founded on both love and trust. If one of its foundation is broken then the relationship is put to test. It's hard to judge a person or make a comment about an issue without first looking at both sides of the situation. What was presented to us is that from the point of view of the husband. Whether married or being merely just a dating couple, it's really heartbreaking to find that your partner is cheating on you. I agree on what the other mylotters have commented that it may be possible to forgive the wife for what she had done but to forget the incident would definitely not be easy. There will always be a feeling of doubt on the part of the husband. As for the wife, if she felt there was something missing or lacking in their relationship, then she should have told her husband about what exactly is bothering her. Communication is one of the keys in keeping a healthy relationship, specially if they are distant from each other. We do not know the real reason why the wife had an affair with another man but nevertheless there is no rightful excuse to commit such a thing. I suggest that the couple spend some time alone, away from each other and reflect on what they really want in their relationship. I don't think that making quick decisions of ending their marriage is the best solution to the problem. Everybody makes mistakes and deserve a second chance. When they are ready and have calmed themselves down, I think they should try to talk and compromise. It is up to the husband to forgive his wife and try to move on. It is also up to the wife to accept and learn from her mistakes and hopefully do not commit it again. If things still didn't work out then atleast they've tried to save their relationship but that it's better for them to lead separate lives. =)

I'm not really in the position to judge the wife since i don't know what's going on in her head. But at least she's honest. I just think it's unfair to the husband, granting that he is not doing something bad either. At the end of the day, only the couple will be able to solve this problem. But based on how the story goes, this would likely end up in a divorce because i don't think the husband will be able to accept that his wife consider him lousy in bed. You can consider a man lousy in everything but never tell him that his lousy in bed

We hear these stories a lot whether it is female or male. For one if my husband had to work so much and I not see him, I would get lonely. But I want to take a look at the situation in another perspective. She is alone all day and gets bored. She notices a young man and he notices her. We don't know who made the first move but the result was they ended up sleeping together. We blame the lady for her lustful and lonely actions. The young man is forgivable because he is a victim of her desires. What if she was his victim instead? What if the young man had taken advantage of her? He knows that she was lonely and that her husband was away. There was no barrier that will stop him from going forth. They both will eventually learn something which passion always want, possession. Once, you have that it doesn't make you feel lonely anymore. You can freely possess anything or anyone and it will temporarily alleviate your needs. That's kind of unhealthy but we do that all the time with our emotions and attachments just not to a critical point. Overall, hearts are broken and lives degraded. That's the soap opera of our generation.

I'd forgive her, wish her the best of luck, and move out. Be well darling, I'll miss you, but not your unfaithful ways. Wave from the car, as you drive away, and find a decent gal.

There is alot of things that might of caused her to do this just like if it was a man going out on his wife..... I think a serious conversation needs to be established between the two of you.... That might be the main problem you never know.... I think anyone that goes through this they need to go and talk to a counselor whether it is a pastor at your church (if you go) or a trained professional.... I see so many marriages fail just because all the reasons and guilt was not taken care of before they tried to make it work again.... there is alot of hidden feelings probably in both of you that need to be explored and discovered...

well, much as i would like to give a response taken out of experience, i simply can't. i've never been through such ordeal. perhaps, if i catch my wife doing that thing, i wouldn't give her a chance to explain. in your hypothetical situation, there is a room for consideration as the wife was not caught in the act and she confessed... perhaps, there's a second chance...

Dear friend, I have been faithful to my wife but I had known that my wife have slept with not one may be few people. I will forgive her provided she would give a mutual divorce which I waiting for. Moreover my child too. I would happily forgive her if she give me divorce without any demands. It is cheating her husband for being faithful to her. No more can she be trusted. One will know when they face the same situation as being faithful and getting cheated by their loved and trusted spouse.

I understand that the wife was alone and maybe bored and this new guy showed her some things she hadn't before experienced. I understand her but that doesn't make it right. It's wrong. There is no way to justify cheating for any reason...it is just wrong. I think the husband should forgive her but if it were me the marriage would be over.

It is really unfortunate what happened and it really hurts but I believe that he can fogive her it all depends on how deep his love is for her. She was honest by confessing to him. I can fogive but it will take a lot.

I think its right to be honest with your husband because there is no such secret and still will be reveal.Honesty is the best policy. You have to forgive as God forgave you. Vengeance is only for God. As in the bible a man there for gave his wife after commit an adultery, he accept her for what she is.

Well if I was the wife I would never do anything like that. If their is a ring on my finger then you won't see me go anywhere or cheat on my future husband like that. It seems quite sad when people cheat on each other and I just don't like that.

I'm a woman. but I will not forgive my partner if he cheated on me. I can't forgive a betrayer..

No one is right in a situation like that, first of all there is no way that you can maintain a marriage seeing each other a couple of times a month, the bond that you form with the marriage fades a way in a situation like that, unless, there would be an extreme commitment from both parts. But the fact that wife cheated, is the worst part of the situation, if she didn't like the arrangement of seeing each other a couple of times a week, she didn't have to accept them. But if you are in a situation like that and you feel bad about it, the solution is not cheat with another guy, the solution is talk to the husband and see if a solution can be found. But if my boyfriend would cheat on me I wouldn't forgive him, and I would leave him right away.

he shouldnt forgive his wife because i think that if a person does something like that and get forgiveness he/she will do it again. so if i were the guy i wont forgive her no matter what. i would leave her and never come back! but hey thats only my opinion! ;)

I feel it very much for this husband. I was engaged to a guy in my ealrier years and I found that he was cheating and got a girl pregnant. I left him. Teh girl lsot the baby and he came back. We were happy but he went back to the girl again and got her pregnant so I gave him back his ring and left him. it is hard when soneone cheats on you to take them back because you will always be remembering what they have done and it will cause a problem. My advice is to move on.

Actually marriage in all its sacracy is based on trust and love if you trust and have faith and loive for him you will never do this if it is by mistake also i cannot forgive and forget i will let her go from my life .

Yes I can forgive my wife. You gave to be somehow flexiable with your wife.

i will say...no! it should be end of the relationship...when a trust is broken...there is no reason to be together! he can forgive his wife but there is no reason to be together anymore....

The question is not forgiveness, but rather did he really think she was going to be faithful when she only saw him once a month? If you are going to married and you want your spouse to be satisfied in bed you need to be there taking care of her or him. Once a month is not going to do it, and if he was ok with just once a month and she was not, this would have happened even if they were living together.

I think that with that marriage its over. Not because of the act of cheating,but because I think for most women cheating starts in the head, passes through the heart and ends in the other man's bed. I don't know what I'd do if I was the husband. I don't think I could forgive or forget. Probably the best thing will be to visit a therapist with the hope that will help.