what is true friend?
By babyfat
@babyfat (9)
February 10, 2010 12:29am CST
X is one of my best friends. We have been friends since we were two or three years old. When I was 7, my family moved to another city. But she always came to my home during summer vacation. She is the only child of her parents,and me too.So she is more like my sister than a friend.
Recently, she goes out with a boy.A bad guy in my eyes. stupid and rude. What's worse, I heard that he dated with a married woman.After the woman divoced for him, he broke up with her. X knew his story, but she doesn't care. I worried about her,and told her that she should leave this guy,blablabla
heard this, she is very angry and said " a true friend should support my decision. no matter what i decided to do"
is what she said true?
4 people like this
31 responses
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
20 Mar 10
I don't see anything wrong with you voicing your opinion to your friend about how you feel about her boyfriend, but you should expect bad feelings, since she sees things differently and this is who she thinks she wants to be with. At the same time, she should not be angry or upset with you just because you don't agree with her all the time. Think about how boring it could be if we always agreed with our friends. There is no reason you should compromise your own opinion. She should be friend enough to understand differences of opinion.
@acie_21 (5633)
• Philippines
14 Mar 10
hi there!
A true friend is someone special
Not many people possess
A true friend is warm and tender
And comforting in their caress.
A true friend is always by your side
If only in your thoughts
A true friend is there for you willingly
And come free, they're never bought.
A true friend is someone who listens
And hears what you have to say
A true friend is never judgemental
And stays with you come what may.
A true friend will love you always
In them you can confide
A true friend will greet you lovingly
With opens arms so wide.
A true friend you cherish dearly
Feeling grateful for their love
A true friend is very special
A blessing from above.
A true friend will feel your presence
Whether near or far
A true friend I hear you question...
what makes you say the guy is bad??
hehehe!you know we can never stop someone from loving..
and specially if she really loves that guy so much....you cannot make decisions about her life...and you must understand it..
lets put it this way that you are right the whole time...
but what if she's also right??
we can never question a person from loving...
just guide her as a friend..be their for her in times of her mistakes or heart breaks..and let her realize and experience whats good or bad for her..
all of us experienced wrong love....this is a good way to let her know whats really right for her...right?hehehe!
do you love your best friend??
happy posting!
cheers!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
18 Feb 10
If you allow her to do harm to herself then you are not a true friend. If she makes a decision that will harm her you have to try and steer her away from that. You are right, she is wrong. It's like saying if she decided to kill someone, you should support her decision. No my friend. Your friend is doing herself harm.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
24 Feb 10
Your friend don’t know what she was saying and what you did was just right. If the friendship you have is really genuine she will come back to you when she later realized what her decision is. Give her time to reflect on her decision. For me a true friend is very transparent. They will tell your mistake honestly and in your face. A true friend can support you but they can’t tolerate bad decision much more if they have experience about the said things. A true friend will never leave you and a true friend listen. I hope you and your friend will fix things the soonest. I feel there is still a chance.
@craftyhomebody (443)
• United States
12 Feb 10
well i do think that you really don't have a choice she going to do what she wants to do and if you don't want to hang out with them or double date with them just go your own way and when he dump' her on her bouttom and comes running back that is when your choice comes in do you take her back a be her best friend again or walk away. only you can make that choice. but that is when she will need her friend the most and you will here why didnt i listen to you good luck
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
11 Feb 10
I would have a rough time with stupid and rude, too.
Sounds like she's willing to dump a lifelong friendship because of some guy she just met. Maybe she should think about who is the true friend here.
But word of advice, people don't like it when people say things against the person they love, even if the person is stupid and rude. Since she knows all this, and still loves him any way, that would be your first clue that she is not going to get rid of him just based on what other people say or think.
I had a friend who was living with an abusive person, I couldn't support that decision, but I could help when she got her head out of the love blind spot she was in.
On ther other isde of the coin. Maybe the guy did learn something from the divorce. I tend to not listen to what other people say. Some people I dated, other people didn't like, but they weren't the ones dated that person, now were they?
@churchill1980 (764)
• Philippines
12 Feb 10
hi babyfat!though you are bestfriends since you are small,you are still two different individuals with each own feelings and convictions,for this reason,you cannot make a decision on her behalf.you must not forget that the only thing you can do is to give her advices and it is up to her whether she will take your advice or not for after all,it is her life and every decision made by her is her responsibility.the only thing you can do about it is give her the best advice which you think will help her and a true friend,will always stay whatever happens.just support her when the outcome of her decisions will turn bad,after all this is what friends all about,a shoulder to cry on when the time gets tough.
@jyzl999 (181)
• Brazil
11 Feb 10
babyfat,I think what you do is pretty right.you are best friends,if you will not give her advice,then nobody will give her.I think a friend indeed is tell the truth,the purpose is for her happiness.when you friend fall in love,she will be infatuated,she only think that guy is the right person and she is so happy and so on,but when the time goes away,she will know the reality,I think she will thanks for your advice.so I think you should do what you want to do,because this behavior is really the behavior that a true friend to do.
@Picquarian (724)
• United States
11 Feb 10
I think that you are being a true friend by speaking about how you honestly feel about this guy and letting her know that you are worried and that you care about her.
@venkatachary (1165)
• India
12 Feb 10
True friendship should always be in understanding each other. If a wrong thing is likely to happen friend should stop it.If true friendship exists , certainly both will discuss matter like this and the decision will be arrived after analyzing all pros and cons.
@LadyDD (515)
• Romania
11 Feb 10
A true friend is that person that is ready to give help and advise not taking into consideration the eventually bad consequences. And above all a true friend is the one who has no profit or advantage for himself in the friendship relations. The person who is hiding truth from the friend is not a true friend. This is the way I see true friendship.
@blueglass (30)
• Indonesia
11 Feb 10
She said like that because maybe...just maybe she face resistance from all of her friends,
the true friend for me is more to be warning me, get the light green when i do the right things, get the yellow if it seems to have a bed effect to the next day, and give me red light and also the solution if i goes wrong...
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
11 Feb 10
a true friend is someone who's there for you come hell or high water, babyfat. at least, that's what i believe. for what kind of friendship can you have when your are only friends during good times and no longer now each other during bad? friendship, is being there, no matter what...
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
11 Feb 10
no, you are a real friend to her by telling her the truth. she isn't acting like a friend right now, however, because of this man. you can only hope she comes to her senses as she will not listen to you. i have found that when it comes to guys, you have no girlfriends. it is every woman for herself. i found them jealous not introducing me to their dates, etc., get jealous when someone paid attention to me and if he lost interest in me, would go out with them if they asked them-- and some did. i wouldn't do that to them i would not feel right. i am glad to be rid of them. you are right. if she leaves or stays angry, your friend is no longer your friend. the best to you and hopefully she will come to her senses and open her eyes.
@illfavors (590)
• United States
10 Feb 10
A true friend to me is one that cares enough to be honest with me. It's hard when the other person doesn't see things the way you see them, however after time goes by she will realize him for the jerk he is.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
10 Feb 10
A true friend for me is the one who still beside you whatever happen to you like you may become rich, poor or have diseases and yet her behavior and true concern to you never change. Even the whole world may left or despise you she still care and would never bother to neglect or disregards you whatever may happen be it ups and down.
@FRANCISCOANDLEE (750)
• United States
10 Feb 10
It is true that a true friend will stand by your side through thick and thin, but a true friend will be the first to tell you that your making a huge mistake and being dumb. So you my dear are doing the right thing. When this guy is done with her she will come to you saying how right you were. Just as much as you are gonna want to try not to use the cliche I told you so....
Your friend is going through the bad boy syndrome she will find out that they aren't want you want for a life partner. Their fun crazy you can laugh and have a great time with them but the day will come when the fun will end.
Just be there for her as true friends do. I wouldn't mind having you as a friend I wish many of mine would have been honest with me in the past.
@Dezzaan (80)
• Sweden
10 Feb 10
I can understand you both in this question. Ofcourse you should try to support her as much as you can, but you also need to help her when she is about to make a wrong decision, like now. I have gone through this with a lot of my friends and I know now that there is nothing you can do as long as they dont want to listen. All you can do is to try to support them as much as you can, always tell them when you think something is wrong and be there for them when sh*t happens. I wish you good luck!