extremely hard to leave...

you probably love him so very much, ambitiouslyleiah. you're dilemma may be out of fear for permanent relationships... and you know leaving is not the answer. otherwise, you have left him a long, long time ago...

You don't want to leave your man because of your things? Girl, I don't mean to intrude but since you open this discussion, allow me to give you some advice. Let me just get this straight first. I, for one, love happy endings but after reading your story, it seems to me that you already depressed and so overwhelmed by the things that are happening around you. You have to tackle it one by one. Your boyfriend first. Wedding cancelled. That is serious. It is not clear if the problem is with you bf's attitude or not. If you are staying with him just because you hope that he will change for you, well sorry, it will not happen. Change must be from his own initiative. No one can change anyone. The change must come from within. If that is not the problem, then work out a compromise with him with whatever it is. If no solution, then no use staying with him. Better separate now than after marriage with children. Believe me, it will be even MORE DIFFICULT by then! Next your things, have you heard of people who buy second-hand things? Sell the things that are no longer useful in your life. De-clutter, de-stress! Sell them online. You'll be surprise that some people will be willing to buy the things that you have. Lastly, you're user name says it all. You should be ambitious enough to aim for excellence. Go find a job. It seems to me that you are an intelligent woman. Just paralyzed because you have too much on your mind. Move on, girl. Life is too short for you to sulk. Enjoy life. To sum it up: "Today is the result of the decision made yesterday. If you are not happy, then don't worry. Just make that right decision today so that tomorrow can and will be yours." Good luck to you and enjoy life!

hi leiah! it seems that you're ready to leave your boyfriend any moment but because of some other reasons, you can't..i just want to know your real reason why you kept on coming back to him. is it because you really love him or because you don't have others to turn to?whatever your reason is, just follow your heart. happy mylotting!

I can feel exactally how you feel! If you are not in love with him, dont for ANY reason marry him. I am here to tell you i have spent , well more like wasted , over half my life tryin to be married to someone i never loved in the first place. Yes for me too it was just a way out , a place to live............ but then it turns to well im stuck now we have kids and i dont want them to be without a dad...... then it turns to ive been without a job and cant make it on my own income so i have to stay..... then it becomes the fear of starting over in your 40's or 50's. If i had to do it all again ......standing in a church waiting to get married when i was 17 to someone i wasnt in love with i would run like crazy and never look back! Good luck it is a very tough choice.

I know the reason why it is so hard to leave your boyfriend/fiancee its because you still love him, you are not well decided yet if you really are ready to be alone again. If ever you really wanted to leave him then you will do it no matter what it takes. So whatever decisions you make as long as its makes you happy go for it.

i think if you force you to marry with someone, it is not the true love. even you can bear and force yourself to do so at this time. what about the rest time in your life. are you ready to take the consequence of this fake love. are you ready to suffer from it? if you do not love him and still marry with him, you are actually hurting him. try to tell him what you are thinking and find another way to solve the problem

I cannot understand why would you want to leave the relationship and then after a while you would again go and patch things up. What keeps you coming back to him? If you have totally lost the love with him then I think it is just right for you to leave and if the furniture and other things are the ones that is holding you there then I think the next best thing is really find you own place to put this things or sell them so that it won't hold you in your place.

Hi ambitiously leiah, Yes, I had a hard time leaving my last live-in boyfriend. We were engaged and had a child between us and shared a house. I had 2 children from a previous marriage and even though I had a job, it was not enough money to just up and move. It took me quite a while to save up enough money to get out of there. I finally managed and I will not live with a guy again because I just never want to be in that spot again. Leaving my marriage which was abusive was pretty much the same thing. Now I have my own place and I won't compromise my independence for anyone or anything. It's hard and my heart does go out to you. Keep looking for a job because that is key in getting your own place.

If you do not love someone then it is best not to be with them. You must get your life started and provide for yourself and try to move on. As you say that you can not leave him it sounds to me that you really do love him if you can not leave him. Still that is just my opinion I'm sure you will see which path to take and what is the right thing to do.

You certainly have given yourself a lot of excuses to stay. None of them are good ones. You can get a job if you really want one, tho it may not be the job of your dreams. You can sell your furniture and your fish and find temporary homes for your pets and ask you mom if you can sleep on the couch for a couple of weeks, or find a friend that will temporarily take you in. You are telling me that "stuff" is more important than your happiness, your life and your future. You don't seem to think too much of yourself.