Oh my I just can't do any thing without a man!

god have created women for men and men for women, women can't give away of men neither men can. they are super power together, and very weak to be separated.

Hi Hatley. First of all - love your new avatar! It is so fitting for you: a kaleidoscope with everything perfectly in place. You have so many facets, but together they make a complete, pleasant harmony. I believe marriage is a partnership as two people work together as one for the betterment of each and the family. We each have our "roles" but they can - and should sometimes - overlap. I can do most things myself, including (note to Lamb) change a tyre on the car. In fact, on the old style motor of yesteryear, I actually stripped down the motor of a Morris and reconditioned it. Don't ask me to do ANYTHING though on the new-fangled contraptions! Looking at things from a man's viewpoint, however, I know how PLEASED my hubby is when I ask HIM to do a small "male" job for me. I honestly think it is a boost for the man's ego when a woman asks him to do a job. Of course, this would have the opposite effect if she did it constantly! (Don't tell them I said so, but I think men are emotionally just overgrown children)

Hi Hatley! I'm one of those independent women that does NOT need a man to make my life complete however, I'd love to have a man in my life but I don't need a man in my life. Let me tell you a story and you have to laugh for it is funny now. When my husband was in the Army, he was stationed in Texas and we had bought our first home. He got orders to go to Korea for a year so I was going to be left alone for the year. One day our toilet in the master bathroom wouldn't flush and luckily I had hubby on the phone and he was telling me step by step on what to do however, he forgot to tell me to pull up on the stopper to flush out the water that was in the tank and proceeded to tell me to take the take out the plug at the bottom and I got water all over the floor! We had a good laugh about that but in the end, I got the toilet to work like it should. LOL That was one incident, there's a few more! One day I was opening the top of the cat box so I could clean it and in those days, the cat boxes had "keys" that go into the sides to hold the top onto the bottom. Well, not thinking, I had set the "keys" on the sink and one of them had fallen down the drain. (leave to me! lol) I got hubby's wrench and got the pipe opened up and stupid me, turned the pipe upside down above my face and splashed water all down the front of me! And no, I didn't get the key. It had apparently went down the drain. The next incident was the riding lawn mower had a flat tire. I didn't have a clue as to how to get it off for it's different from cars so I figured out that there was a pin and figured out how to get it off but to get it off the lawn mower itself was another story. I couldn't find the jack so I got some cinder blocks and it took all the strength that I could muster to pick that thing up (rear end) and set it on the cinder blocks. I tugged and pulled and tugged and pulled and that darned thing gave me hell but it did finally come off. I went and got the tire fixed and came home to put it back on which was a totally different story!! It just would not go back on! Finally, I put my back up against the wall and sat on the floor and kicked it with both feet which knocked the lawn mower off the cinder blocks a couple of times but I did finally manage to get that damned tire back on and of course, there was a lot of cussing going on but I did get it on! LOL Then another time, I had finished a beautiful cross stitch for my hubby because he said he wanted it for himself so I finished it and got it professionally framed so I wanted to get it on the wall but with something that would hold it tight so I got one of those things, which I call a screw with a butterfly thingy that goes into the wall and works like an anchor. Now, I don't know a thing about drills and the like so I tried to change the bit but I didn't know how and couldn't figure it out so I hoped it was a drill bit and not a screw bit so I was slowly drilling a hole into the wall and was going right slow and I thought I was doing alright then I hit the button a little too hard and ZIP! right into the wall and there I had made a huge hole in the wall!! I got to laughing at my self so hard because of all the crap that I had been through and now this, what else could I do but laugh! Crying wasn't going to make it better to I just laughed my butt off!! Then I got some spackle to fix the hole and had to wait a little while for it to dry and then sand it down a little bit then try again. This time I did it correctly and got the picture on the wall. So you see, I'm an independent woman. I don't need a man. I want a man in my life but don't need a man. LOL The other things that happened was, my car had broken down and it was going to cost me $700. to fix. That was A LOT of money back then! Plus, I had rescued a kitten only to have to put it to sleep because it was so sick and I didn't know till the morning I had to take it in to be put down which really killed me. I had helped a friend with a place to stay and then stole from me. Let me tell you, I had learned a lot about myself during that year. I truly did.

Hi Hatley! I definitely agree with you! What man in this day and age would want a woman who is needy and felt that she couldn't live without a man in her life? Women are more independent than ever and most men want them that way! Most men when they meet a woman want them to have their own job, their own place to live and be able to stand on their own two feet! If a woman is too needy and clingy most men would run the other way! My bf was seeing someone before we got together and that was one of the reasons he dumped her! There is no room for someone who can't hold their own in a relationship or marriage anymore! This world is just too tough a place for that sort of person!

I think just as there are women who can't get along without a man in her life, there are men who want women who are dependent on them for everything. There is someone for everyone....the real challenge is finding that person. I have a good friend who defines herself by her fella. She wasn't always like that but in recent years she has become very dependent on relationships to define her. When she is with someone she is really happy but when they break up or even when they are just fighting, she becomes almost despondent, and it makes me worry about her sometimes. I am very independent person, don't like having to ask anyone for help with anything so I definitely need a partner who understands and allows this. I couldn't be with one of those men who expect their partner to be the helpless, damsel in distress type. We'd drive each other crazy!

I have a friend like this, she can't hang a picture on her own. She is always asking me if I want her husband to come do this kind of thing for me. My husband works away from home most of the time, if I had to wait for him to get things done I would be sitting on a mountain of repair jobs. I changed my own furnace filter the other night and she was totally amazed. I keep trying to tell her that the coy helpless female act only attracts guys that end up being control freaks, but she's lived like this for years and then complains her hubby is a control freak. Most guys will love rescuing a damsel in distress once or twice, but a constant helpless female ends up being the proverbial ball and chain instead of the partner it takes to make a marriage work.

I hate these kinds of women! It's 2010. We vote, we have jobs, don't tell me you can't figure out how to fix a sink and you're an able-bodied person. We're firefighters and police officers. We should know how to mow our own lawns. If I weren't in a wheelchair, I would do all of these things myself and would not rely on a man to do all these things for me. I might break a nail, but so what?

I hate these kinds of women! It's 2010. We vote, we have jobs, don't tell me you can't figure out how to fix a sink and you're an able-bodied person. We're firefighters and police officers. We should know how to mow our own lawns. If I weren't in a wheelchair, I would do all of these things myself and would not rely on a man to do all these things for me. I might break a nail, but so what?

I maybe a woman but I have the mental capacity of a man. This could frighten or draw the opposite gender to me but as a woman I have never depended on the male species to provide for me. A man called a husband is only important to me to create and upgrade my status to a mother. Other from that I am a strong lady in all departments except probably my physical strength which I surrender as I was framed as a woman so my strength is not as strong as the physical strength of a man.

I don't understand electrical things and the mechanics of a car but I cna manage most of the rest. I wouldn't expect a man to be able to bake a cake so I could do that while he changed a fuse I feel that woman should be able to have a say in things and should balance a relationship out in all aspects, emotioonally and pratically. I see no reason why the male should have it all on his shoulders. They should not take over just as the woman shouldn't either. It should be a blend, a mix, half and half, neither one relying on the other but sharing. Women bear the children but both should help rear them, not just the mother. Then both the girls and the boys should do the same things in the house while growing up so that later, when they are adults, there are not biased with 'male things' and 'female things'. It all begins at home.

Hi I can't be a helpless woman and I don't wanna see helpless women as well. Women indeed are weaker vessel but that does not mean we are helpless. In fact God created us to be the helpmeet of our husband. What men can't do, women can. It should be a a healthy partnership. Each one should strengthen one. If our husband can work, we can also do.It does mean having our own job too, but the task of being a responsible wife and mother is the most noble job we can ever have. We should not be over dependent on them because we are not created to be futile and to be sponge all our life. We are created for a special purpose. A woman is a completer. Without us, men are incomplete and for that...we should prove our worth.

I think girls should be raised to be self-sufficient, so that when they get older, they can 'choose' to have a man, rather than 'need' to have one. Otherwise the message that they're sending is that they necessarily love their man, but have to have him. That is not to say that two people cannot need each other. We all have areas that we are strong in, others that we are not. Open the hood of a car, I am as lost as my husband is in the kitchen.

Hi Hatley, like your new avatar. I can say I can't agree more. There are roles that people fall into when they are married, but that doesn't mean they have to give up or create a whole new personna for the sake of that role. I think I'm a strong woman. If I can't fix it at least I know who to call. I can't stand marriages where both parties don't know where all the finances are. To me that is spelling danger in a hurry. I think all women want that softer side to come out when they have a partner, but I don't think you have to sacrifice everything you are and let go of who you are completely. I would rather WANT a man around then NEED a man around. I think that right there is the entire difference in a relationship too.

A strong YES to that Hatley! Women need to be self-sufficient. For it is only then that she could make the family tree perfectly whole. For some time we might say we need a man in some aspect in our lives especially on stuffs which require more strength like lifting heavy things...On the other hand men need women too in things like giving them children...With this we need to be whole enough so as to supplement which one might lack...And sure enough, a happily sufficient family will evolve...

One thing that makes me happy to be single at 28 is that I am independent. If and when I get married, I won't be following my husband around trying to gain his approval. I know I can stand on my own two feet, and won't be emotionally needy or lost without his direction. I would hope that a man would be able to appreciate that. I don't think any sane man would want his wife to be completely dependent on him.

YOu have a very strong point here Hatley, I agree with you. I believe in today's generation, we have a lot of independent, strong and very sufficient woman who are wife and mother!

hi Hatley, Very good point, my mother had always taught me to be independed, always worked hard and know how to pay my household bill, when I got married, my husband took over the paying of the bills why I buy the house food shopping but now I am unable to work but still pay something towards it, I do all the cooking and general house work while he does the washing, now he is at work all day and most time he warks late so I handle most things, to be honest, he gets underfoot when he is around, I am not a little housewife that depends on him all the time, but I do know someone who is, she cannot cook and has been married for many years, her husband has to come home from work and do all the cooking and everything else, she works partime and then go shopping to buy colthes, wow! what a nice life, but she cannot do with her husband and is very clingy to him, lol! Tamara

I've been on my own with out a man for my whole life,that's why I like to own dogs.They keep better company,I'm not interested in getting married.I do have a daughter ,but was never married.I don't have a relationship with anyone,I feel I don't have to be with a man if I choose not to.My lhasa apso wouldn't like me to have a boyfriend he's protective of me.I rather deal with dogs anyways.I do all the hard work around here,and if something needs to be moved I do it.I'm definately not helpless.I lived on a farm when I was a teenager and the guy who owned the farm paid me to help him out.I did heavy duty work at that age.I helped unload hay baild ,fed the cows.It was fun.

I agree. No women is suppose to be helpless. Cgange that plug yurself and open that jar. Men are a very handy and luxurious tool to have around, but really girls, wake up and smell the coffee. There is nothing wrong with you, or are there?

you have a very nice way of putting it, hatley. a marriage is a union that is basically and principally a partnership, where the two partners share equally in responsibility and grow together strongly to build their family. it is not meant to be an arrangement for interdependence. with one weaker and the other, the weak one would cling to for strength. you know, it's not always the woman who is weak in a union called marriage. at times, there are couples where the man is weaker than the woman and depends on her on a lot of things, including day-to-day survival and living.