I need help!
By hughes232
@hughes232 (46)
United States
February 14, 2010 12:46pm CST
Ok so here's the situation I'm 17 and ive never had a gf and that just kills me on the inside but thats not what this is about. Now Ive gotten turned down like 20 times in my high school time. Most recently i got turned down by my dream girl who i thought i was destined to be with. I started talking to this girl i haven't talked to since like 4th grade. Shes really nice and she helped me get over getting rejected by "my dream girl" now i think im starting to feel for her but i mean for one im kinda afraid to love anyone anymore. they always turn me down. But anyway I gotta do something I couldnt live with myself if another guy started dating her and i lost my chance and ive had that happen before too. So i just started talking to this girl again like a week ago. And we've become pretty good friends is it too early to ask her to prom. Note prom isnt for like 2 months from now. Or should i just ask her out but if i do then i could destroy are freindship i just got back. I dont know what to do plz help someone.
2 people like this
8 responses
@LovingLife139 (1504)
• United States
14 Feb 10
Hey there. I'm sorry to hear that so many girls are blind to the love you're willing to give. You sound like a really nice person and hopefully someone will see that and realize it soon! 
If I were you, I'd bring up prom to this girl and suggest you two go together. Bring it up easily, so if she has someone she's going with or has other plans, all she has to do is say so and you two can continue being friends. And if she does say no, don't take it too hard. There are so many girls out there who overlook a guy's interest without meaning to. If you two don't go together at prom, who is to say you'll never be more than friends? Approach it lightly and see how she reacts.
Best of luck. I hope that no matter her answer, only the best can come of it.
If I were you, I'd bring up prom to this girl and suggest you two go together. Bring it up easily, so if she has someone she's going with or has other plans, all she has to do is say so and you two can continue being friends. And if she does say no, don't take it too hard. There are so many girls out there who overlook a guy's interest without meaning to. If you two don't go together at prom, who is to say you'll never be more than friends? Approach it lightly and see how she reacts.
Best of luck. I hope that no matter her answer, only the best can come of it. @hughes232 (46)
• United States
14 Feb 10
ill bring it up tonight somehow and like the person below you said ill hint we just go as freinds. And then ill see what happens. Does that sound good?
@LovingLife139 (1504)
• United States
14 Feb 10
That does sound good! Be subtle and gentle with asking her. And I'd do it as soon as possible, too, so no one else gets to her first. 
@shattered (1728)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
I agree that sounds good. Moreover, it should take away any expectations and relieve you of the stress of the entire affair which could lead to good things.
Be careful not to push yourself on her though. Always remember that she is your friend first.
Get to know her, not just the good things about her, know everything there is to know about her that you can possibly know. Without becoming a stalker LOL. I mean LISTEN to what she is saying. NOT just the things you want to hear.
Once she shows you a side of her she doesn't normally show to others, that usually means you are on her good side.
Take your time. DON'T RUSH. But don't do nothing, that's way worse then being dumped.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Well I think you would be wise to try and figure out how she feels about you. When you are talking to her do you flirt with her? If you do how does she react? Does she seem receptive and flirt back with you or does she kind of back off and shy away a bit. If she seems receptive go ahead and ask her out, if she seems uncomfrotable when you flirt with her then it is probably not a good idea to ask her out or it is possibly too soon. In other words be really in tuned if it doesn't feel right don't do it, if it feels comfortable then give it a shot, you will never know if you don't try, but don't put yourself out there to get hurt if she does not seem interested in more then just friendship. You could always ask her to go do something with you outside of school as a friend and see how things develop from there.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
I think you should just ask her out on that prom. Maybe invite her to a friendly dinner or lunch date then pop the question. if you truly want her then that's the only way to get her to go to prom with you.Think of the bright side, if she says yes then you've been rewarded for your efforts, but then if she says no you still have many options:
ONE - You can try to ask her again and again, as some girls likes to play hard to get, and sometimes a little persistence bears good fruit.
TWO - If you ask her early and she says no, then you'll have a chance to look for someone else before the prom day.
THREE - Maybe she'll change her mind after a few days, when you remain friends with her.
...and besides, whats another turn down compared to a chance to have a prom date you actually like to have with someone you like. My best wishes my friend!
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
15 Feb 10
Hi there, sorry to hear about your previous experiences. But still, I would hope that you find enough courage and determination to ask her out for a date. If you take a minute and think about your previous experiences, it does upset you because of the outcome but at least you won't live to regret that you didn't make any move. And since you have that much determination in the past, why do you stop now when you should grab hold of the chance before it goes to someone else?
@timasma (123)
• Poland
15 Feb 10
Do you feel that she is interested in you? Sometimes is good to know that before you ask, if you are scared to lose the friendship. But life is about taking risks, if you don't ask you might never know. Just make sure you make her feel comfortable about your friendship even if she rejects you. Tell her you can still be friends and you will still care about her. But don't feel bad if she turn you down, remember you have you all life ahead of you, plenty of time to find the right girl.
@lhadie (32)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
Being turn down simply means that you still have the chance to court for someone better...=) Life, is the about having with relationship with our Creator, and surely He'll provide us with the perfectly fitted person for us. =)
I your case, I think it is better to wait for the right time. A time where in both of you will mutually enter to that relationship. You don't to court and if ever, you'll not waste the friendship you built if ever, and you won't feel discourage. Not being pessimistic. In the right time, for sure if she's the girl then God will reveal to her what you feel and He will instill you within her heart...=)
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
14 Feb 10
You are not going to like this at all. Go to her first thing in the morning and ask her. It can only be a yes or a no. Nothing else. Make sure you let her understand that you only go as friends. That will at least let her think about it. If she says no, don,t give up as a lot of girls like to play hard to get. You do not really have much of a choice here. Good Luck. Please let me know what happened, then we will try something else if that didn,t work. TATA.
@jbaunillo (254)
• Philippines
15 Feb 10
Hey, sometimes, rejection can lose our confidence especially with situation like yours. But hey, you're still 17 and that means you still have the big chance to get the girl of your dream. Dont worry about rejection, just think of it as a clothes is a department you want to wear yet you cant have because you dont have enough budget. (what an example!). its not really a big deal. Anyways, about the girl you wanted to date on the prom, i must say that you go ahead and ask her before it's too late. before someone asked her first. dont think about the rejection as it always happen. not only you but to everybody. Who knows, after you ask her, she'll say yes and eventually you'll be a good couple. But still, i have to say that you're still young and you should not make this puppy love thing a serious matter. Why don't you go ahead and aim for the ace? In that case, a lot of girls will be be dying to have your love. If you have the ace, then you'll have the girls.
