She was shocked! Her daugher is dating a married man!

I wouldn't say I would blame her. Temptations these days are very strong, and people needing attention too much fall into them quite easily, mistaking lust from love. It's sad but people learn it the hard way most of the time. Regardless how you would want to separate them, it'll not be your decision. But I would do everything I can to make my child or daughter come to her senses. For one thing, I would tell her that I'm disappointed. I'd tell her that if he could do that to the wife, how much more to her? As for telling the wife, I'd probably do so. But I would risk losing my daughter forever if she would blame me for separating them. But definitely, she would sooner or later understand that it was for her good.

i would first talk to the man and not the daughter. it would be more complicated it we start by talking with the wife, that could be a tragic for the partners. though it will also be a desperate move, i think this is better than we start with the daughter. if the man can stop seeing the daughter, daughter could find other man that she most deserve.

It's a sad fact that your friend's daughter is in this relationship but I would not think of interferring. The more people interfere, the harder she will dig in her heels and refuse to see the reality of the situation. All you can do is be supportive and hope that the relationship comes to an end.

This is a very sticky situation. And settling something that concerns the heart is not easy. The more you say DON'T, the more the love deranged person do the unimaginable. She is in love but her lover belongs to someone else which only might complicate matters if she prolong her relationship with him. Telling the wife at the moment will not help that much. He might have personal issues with his wife so find a young lady to fill the void. Usually the heart doesn't listen to the head and it is pointless to say much at this time. She is being blinded by love and she will only get her sight back when she gets married. By then it is too late as she has ruin someone's marriage while she could have gotten herself someone who is in the same status as her, single.

Hello salonga, I am a guy but i can't believe am saying this, MEN are animals! even if were married we just can't get enough. thie proves that Love is blind for sure, i know she feel something i believe such can destroy marriage and for me it's better for you to talk to the man rather than her.

Hi salonga! I understand how upsetting is that. For parents, we all want the best for our kids. We don't want them to get lost. We will try our best to correct them and make them realize the wrong things they are doing. That is really saddening... the daughter you took care for YEARS... when grew up and can make her own decision do something like that, that we know in the end it is she who will lose... I guess your friend, tried talking to her daughter many times... but because the girl is very inlove, she acted like blind and willing to give up everything even her own family and dignity just to be with the married guy. I cannot guarrantee you that if your friend, make this known to the wife would lead to a better result. The wife might leave the husband, then making them more free... Or the wife would get very mad then confront her daughter in front of many people, putting her daughter to a very shameful situation... Do you think your friend can handle that circumstance? Of course, being a mother, even how stubborn our kids, we still want to protect them and not to be in such situation... But I also understand and believe that sometimes, a person needs to hit her head hard first before she learns... I suggest to again talk to her daughter again, and try to sound not mad and controlling (though sometimes it is hard to control our emotions). Tell her and cite all the possible consiquences of her actions... Tell her about the guy's kids, how would they feel... and if she can stand the fact that she is ruing not just the marriage but also the kids life. Kids are more affected in situations like this... There are love, that should not fight for. Give her daughter a chance to think, give her few days... then talk to her again, about her decision. If she remains hard heated, the tell her that, she left her no choice but to tell the wife about it... As mother and as a woman--- we cannot stand to see somebody being cheated by husband... Good luck to you and to your friend. I hope that this matter will be solved without talking to the wife. I hope that your friend's daughter would realize very soon that it is not all about love... A mature and TRUE Love is not selfish. If the man can do that to his wife... then what makes it difference? Can she confidently say that the guy would not do that again to her in time? Worst, she cannot complain for she was once the other girl... What is her right???

salong if I were the silly daughter's mom I would grab her and sit her' down, and make her listen to me. You are only going to get hurt as very few married men divorce theirs wives over the other woman no matter how much you love him. stop this at once. You are not a home wrecker or are you one? If you persist in this I will tell his wife and maybe we can end this stupid prank of yours. Also this man wants you as a mistress but after awhile he will get tired of you and give you the boot. so saver yourself all this trouble, and find a single man to run around with. if you do not I can disown you so think about it.

this is a very difficult situation. when you are a parent situations like this is truly a heart ache and a head ache as well. since my son is only four it is hard to think of a solution for this. for my mind is far of thinking this kinds of senario. i will put myself in their shoes, i want to know why this married man is in this situation. now if he says that his own married is on the rocks then my advice is to fix that first. now if he is divorsed already then maybe they can go on with the daugther. ask the guy if he really loves the daugther or he only wanted a company or someone to be around with before he goes home and that would be not fair for the daugther. i didnt say that i am not against this affair but sometimes we need to know the reason behind. maybe the daugther has her own reasons as well. they need to sit down and talk.

I don't think that would be a good idea. It will only make things worse. The wife might end up exposing the realtionship of her husband with her daughter in public and might make desperate measures towards her daughter, which would put her to shame. I think, it would be better if she talked with the man. Make him understand that he should be responsible enough to face the consequence and that he can never give her a better future because he is already married. That he is being unfair to her daughter for staying in the relationship when he is already committed. I think, if her daughter is really or is madly in love with him, there is nothing she can do to prevent her from seeing him. Unless, she inprison her daughter in their house and never let her go out and stop all communication with him and of course, we could always ask for His help to enlighten the mind of her daughter. I hope that i was able to hlep a little and i will also pray for her daughter.God bless!

I think it's bad idea to tell the man's wife. Maybe just acceralte the seperate of this couple. I think it will not work to sepearte two people in the love. In this situation, your friend's daughter already know that man married, it will never work just seperated them. If she had shame or regret about herself break into a realtionship, her mother's advice may have worked, but if she don't care, it will never work. Maybe the mother should talk to the man, let him choose daugher or his wife, or maybe tell his wife's friends, it will be better her friend tell her, not the girl's mom. Love is so complicated, but I think it's never right to date a married people. Even they didn't love each other, it's their problem, just don't intervene a relationship. Hope your friends will solve this problem

Any new message as 10 months have passed by.....

It is very dangerous when messing with a married man... Someone is going to be hurt whether it is feelings or otherwise.... You see women or men in criminal trials all the time for assault or even murder..... Your friend is probably so shocked because she did not raise her daughter like that also....As parents when our children sway away from teachings in morals and values sometimes we blame ourselves but it happens... Her daughter hopefully will realize if this man is cheating on his wife then chances are he will cheat on her.....Although she may think she may be helping but she may ruin the relationship with her daughter.... Trust me it may be months, weeks, or days but her daughter will find out if it was her that told.

My sister had the same exact problem with her daughter a couple of years back. She was only 12 years old and she fell in love with her teacher who is married. The teacher's wife was pregnant then and that made it even more horrible to think about. The problem with my sister is that she was also involved with a married man who is now her husband and my niece's father. So it was difficult for her to advice her daughter on something that she herself had done before. Anyway, my sister went to talk to the man and he promised to leave my niece as she's still under age. But that didn't work. They were still texting each other so my sister sent my niece to study away in a neighboring country. That stopped the relationship. I don't think it's a good idea to tell the wife. You might threaten the man that you'll tell the wife but I think you should spare the woman the heartache. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

If talking to the daughter and to the man doesn't work, by all means let your friend report to the wife.

Hi Salonga, The news should be a shocking one for every mother. I think she can sit with her daughter and make her understand the consequences. She may be very young to understand the importance of a family relation. She is fascinated with the man and I think he was responsible to encourage this girl. Conveying the same to his wife is more dangerous; it may create problems in their family and may be his wife become angry. We can’t guess what will she do on anger and it may affect badly on this girl’s future. If she feels she can talk to the man and I think he is the only one can solve this problem easily.

I suppose these days it happens more frequently. It is a shame. But after a certain age, a person needs to make own decisions. Even if those decisions lead her to get hurt. I would let her know as a mother , how I feel. That as a whole I am disappointed in her behavior. I am not sure about dealing with the wife. I might talk to the man 1st.

Hi Salonga! I am shocked either Well it's tough ... but i'm not thinking that letting know the man wife is a good way, i'm sure that she might be blame your friend together with the daughter ... My advice is just telling your friend daughter that loving the man wife was never been true, or correct, you can tell that you (your friend daughter) was in her wife place when the man is dating another girl again one day, can you accept it?? Your friend must set the daughter mind that she might loving the wrong guy, and there's no guarantee that he really loves you while with his current wife, he did the same things with your daughter in the future, what did you feel if the wife is you? I hope you understand what i'm gonna to say, and hopes it helps

hello friend, First,i will talk with the guy. He should know what he is doing...and if he will not listen to me,i would go straight to his wife. I know i might lost my daughter,or maybe she will hate me,but,for her welfare i would't care. Sooner or later she will realize that,what i did is for her own good. This is so sad...really,no parents ever dreamed their daughter to had relationship with a married man.

For me it's better must to tell the wife so that she make shy of doing that even if the situation in the long run make it cruel for them part.

I would recommend your friend to stay out of that situation, her daughter know exactly what she is doing, it is bad to date a married man, it is horrible, but she should learn on her own way, and believe she will, those affairs with married man always finish bad, for everybody, for the wife, the husband and the mistress, but the mother has to stay away, because later on, the daughter will blame the mother for anything bad that happen, and she really wouldn't learn her lesson.