Friendship because of pity and mercy ? you want a friend who just pity on you?

i have 2 thoughts acout this - it is somehow good to have ths friend as he can be suportive whenever you face difficulties - it will lower down your self confidence in long run my advise is for you to balance your friendship with this person, do not be too dependable on this person as well as dont give up on her as yet. take this as a challenge and try to build your own cycle of friends dear cheers

I hate to say that, but I think with most friendships, a lot of it is out of pity. It shouldn't be, but when you feel desperate for friendships, you will do anything to have friends, even if those friends are toxic to your life. I will not name names, most you know my policy on that, but I know a man who is so desperate for friends that he will be friends with almost anyone who takes pity on him or who will talk to him, and some of these friends are taking massive advantage of him, and yet he does not see this. Some of these friends have gotten him into a lot of trouble and have even caused him to go broke, and he will still be friends with them. Pretty sad.

There is no question of pride..first of all, why would I want anybody to pity me! By expecting so, I am insulting myself before the other person can even think of doing so. When I meet a person for the first time or maybe in subsequent interactions, I would never do anything that would make people pity me or help me out of pity. So obviously having a friend just for a shoulder to cry, is not my cup of tea. Friendship should always be on equal terms over something…its from there that as we get to know our friends better, we share their joys and sorrows and help each other.

Pity is not a good basis for a friendship. I would want a friend that I have something in common with. Then I can build on that. I would feel something is lacking if pity were the only reason to have the friend. I don't think it would last very long.

No, I can't see it either. If that's the only basis for the friendship, it isn't really a friendship, is it?

Hey icesmile! I wouldn't be friends with someone who is just being friends with me out of pity! What kind of a reason would that be to be friends with someone? That is not a reason to build a friendship on! I have tried to befriend someone that I have felt sorry for, but we had things in common and that wasn't the basis for the friendship!

Then that relationship cannot be termed friendship.it is his grace to become close to you and lead you in all aspects of your life.So,he/she should be called your guide and not anything less than that and you should be thankful for your whole life for his kindness to step down to you.

I would probably tell them to go away and leave me alone, personally If they don't want to be around me, then they can never be classed as friends, and I will never be able to feel any bind of friendship in the same way if I naturally choose a person to be friends with.

I know all to well what you mean. I've had so-called friends like that. It pissed me off to no end, but I wouldn't act, dress or look like the popular girls. I had no interest, and still have no interest in looking like the rest of the world. I refuse to allow society dictate what I should do, how I should dress, or how much time I spend on myself. People like that are to self-absorbed to know what's going on on planet Earth. I refuse to be like that, or give the impression I am like that. If someone wants to be my friend that's fine, but if they are doing out of pitty because they "feel sorry for me". Then I don't need them. My real friends may be few and far in-between, but they are there.

If the person really shows honesty and genuine,it's ok to accept he frenship.For the start, just insist on your true feeling if you are not comfortable with the approach.Just nicely say that you are in trouble and would appreciate if someone can be a listener, if not a resolver.Its not that our life is over when there are no pity around us rite.

Pity initially is okay to start with. But real friendship takes time to develop. And the ease to confide to a person requires trust. If initially they pitied you, move forward and show them that you can offer more than that to really develop friendship.

I would stay several feet away from a person like that. He/she is just using you. A friend who pities you does not respect you, and a friend who doesn't even respect you is no friend at all.

Definitely not.. i don't want that kind of friendship.. friendship and love though opposite have similarity in this.. it cannot come due to mercy or pity..

hi frnd... i will keep away long distance from that kind of frnds.. but true frndship take more times to understand both. so never miss true friends. u too one of my frnd keep smiling.. good luck.....

Of course I don't like to have someone pity on me too. However to look at another point of view, maybe some people just want to pacify or reconcile the feeling of ours which are blue.

Of course I don't like to have someone pity on me too. However to look at another point of view, maybe some people just want to pacify or reconcile the feeling of ours which are blue.

Hello I have never had this problem, but I do find myself surrounded by some people that are how can I say this, pitiful its sad but true, I try to give everyone a chance and know that in life there is always room for improvement but crap there are some sad cases out here and some people just suck, no I will never befriend someone out of pity but when I see you are just stuck and don't want to better yourself in any way then I move on. We should learn from our experiences as well as others but when you meet someone that just have no clue as to what is going on then that is sad and for me I can't deal with it. Thanks.

If I need someones pity sometime to get well soon or come out of some thing which is not good for me, I would not mind such friend. Someone is helping me and saying that he is my friend, does not matter if he is showing pity to me. A timely help is always good whatever the way is or whoever is the person helping me. I am ok with this.

Its rude to say to a person that you just want to be friends with them because you know you have worth with them. Friendship is not about that. You need to be willing to be their for that person not just obligation. I don't want to have a fiend like that who thinks that this person cannot survive without you. Its like your thinking that the person can' live without you. Hope none of my friends are like that. And I'm not like that as well. I don't befriend people just because I pity them. Its the chemistry and care that you want to give to your friends.