Do You Teach People How to Treat You?
By canesfan1964
@canesfan1964 (544)
United States
February 15, 2010 7:46am CST
I recently came across something that Dr. Phil said and I find it to be quite true. He said "you teach people how to treat you". If you don't set boundaries and let people walk all over you they will. If you give respect and demand respect you will get the same in return. If you treat people with kindness and generosity the result is usually the same. I realize that some people are going to treat you however they wish but we have control over that. Some may be disrespectful, unkind, uncaring, but we have a choice whether or not to allow that to happen by setting standards for people and deciding what we will tolerate. What do you think?
2 people like this
8 responses
@Tallygirl09 (1380)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Powerful words and I do think it is very true. I do think that there is alot to what Dr Phil says and many times he makes it sound so simple yet it's true. I am going thru a tough time and it's in part because I didn't set boundaries when and how I should have. So I am learning a big lesson but a valuable one!
I try to treat everyone the way that I like to be treated but as you say, it doesn't always work with some. And those are the ones you avoid or if you happen to work with them or for them, tolerate.
Interesting topic! I think I read it at a very good time. It'll set my mind going in the right direction today! Take care!!
@canesfan1964 (544)
• United States
15 Feb 10
I felt the same way when I read his words. We may know these things but sometimes it is just good to be reminded. Your never too old to learn! :) I hope your situation works out. I too am going through a difficult time. Sometimes life's lesson can be so hard.
@Tallygirl09 (1380)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Yes indeed they can! But I do have a phrase that I live by and I think it might be from the bible, not sure. This too shall pass...always comforts me when I am feeling so very overwhelmed.
One day at a time and I love learning so don't think I'll ever stop! Take care!
@angemac23 (2003)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
I don't take any s**t from anyone.....if someone treats me bad or disrespects me, I let them know and demand they treat me with the same respect I give them or they are out my life for good!
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
15 Feb 10
While there is some truth in that, I firmly believe that if you have to teach others how to have moral and common courtesy that they're probably not someone worth being around.
@canesfan1964 (544)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Thank you for your response Zoey. I think you might be right about that!
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
16 Feb 10
I guess it's just human nature. If people can get away with treating you badly, then they would continue doing so, until you learn to stand up for yourself. And I think that the time you say 'stop' is a form, or a way to teach people around that mis-treat you.
In the same way, I think it's human nature that if you show kindness and fairness to the people that you know, then they would also continue doing the same, until friendships are built.
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
15 Feb 10
Hi canes..I tell my kids all the time that people treat us the way we allow them to. We can't control someone elses behavior, only the way we react to it. If we allow someone to treat us badly they will continue to do so. We need to advocate for ourselves rather than suffer in silence or tolerate bad behavior, every time we let someone make us feel less than we are we give up a little piece of ourselves and become someone we aren't happy with. Do it enough and we become someone we don't even recognize.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
16 Feb 10
I never really thought about that before, but I guess it is true. If you let people walk all over you, they will. If you give respect and demand back, you will get it. Problem is, people these days don't always know how to treat other people, and so we abuse everyone.
@Mady2791 (545)
• United States
16 Feb 10
Yeah, you have to treat you because some people think that by the way are and carry yourself you are going to take crap from them and that's when you have put a stop to them and give them a taste of their own medicine and then they take a step back and say :"whoa..I better watch out, this chick is a tough cookie. She is not as dumb as I thought"
