Goth Wedding is causing family problems :-(

YES, I think you're weird & wacky!!! However, I firmly believe that it is YOUR wedding & you should have it ANY WAY you want it!!! I'd tell ANY of the family that threaten not to attend that I'm disappointed that they can't find it in their heart to share the day in the way you & your partner feel most comfortable & that you'll miss sharing your MOST SPECIAL day with them!!! I'd also ignore ANY of the family that is upset by your choices. EVERY ONE of them had their wedding the way they wanted. Why should they be allowed to ruin yours???

Your wedding is *your* day. On my wedding day I wore black gauchos, a silver tank top, and a beautiful black haori with a colorful Japanese palace scene sown into the back. I hate dresses, you see, and I prefer to wear black. My mother, being a traditionalist, disapproved and wanted me to wear a dress...or at least something that wasn't black. I ignored her, and it turned out for the best. Everyone who went, including my mother, thought I looked good in my wedding attire. If people think you're weird, just shrug it off and let them know the invitation is extended, but the wedding plans aren't theirs to make. If they choose to come, they will probably find themselves forgetting all about the weirdness factor. If they do complain, tell them "sit down and shut up, this is my day."

It's your wedding, you do it the way you want to.

Who's paying? It's your wedding, you have only to please yourselves. Send out the invitations and go ahead. If people want to attend they will...unfortunately they might attend even if they don't want to ...people can be such hypocrites when there is free food and booze available. Congratulations to you both. I hope you have a prosperous, happy and healthy life together.

Firstly, congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful wedding, however your family feel about it. If you and your partner are goths, I can´t imagine why your families would be surprised that you´d want to incorporate this into your big day. Here´s an idea. Take the unhappy parties with you to a wedding dress shop. Find the biggest, frilliest traditional white dress that you can find, and model it with an upscaled version of your normal goth make up, hair, nails and accessories. I bet they agree that the black and purple velvet looks a hell of a lot better! Could it be though that some of the dissenters are worried about the reception being held in the goth / rock club? People sometimes have weird preconceived ideas and perhaps they have visions of a ´scary´ environment full of ´scary´ people where they´ll feel out of place and uncomfortable. Maybe you could reassure them.

Clarify to the WHO 's getting married......... and make them thank their lucky stars they're gonna get a free meal... those jerks XD

I looked at your profile and I think at your age you should do whatever suits you. It is different for a couple in their twenties who might have an unusual wedding and then grow out of whatever phase they were in, and later on hide their wedding pictures from their children. However, in your case you should tell your family that it is really your wedding, for you and your partner to enjoy. Tell them you would be delighted to have them share your special day but if your arrangments don't suit them you will feel a bit sad but it is they that miss sharing a joyful event.

While I would not have a goth wedding myself, I certainly don't think you are weird!!! A wedding is supposed about to be about the two people that are being joined together. I don't think there is anything wrong with you making the ceremony a true reflection of the two of you. Sometimes the people on the periphery can get caught up and forget that it isn't about them!!! Frankly I think your relatives are being utterly selfish. Let them pout like children and miss out on the festivities!! If I were you, I wouldn't stress at all, it isn't worth it. The most important thing is that you and your partner can look back and be happy with what you did.

Oh no, that sounds awesome!!!! Be yourself, my friend. I have learned that being happy with your wedding plans will make for no regrets later. My next dress, though not black, will definitely be Medieval style. Hope you take lots of pictures. And I am hoping your family will attend and see the beauty of your uniqueness. Much happiness to you.

first of all, you are hardly a virgin, so the white dress would be.. well, lying so to speak (I mean, if you want it, nobody much cares anymore, but...) That's one nail you can use against them. another thing, if you are paying for it, it should be how you want it - you can maybe even get the most hypocritical ones out of the picture by telling them you want them to dress "goth" too. Now, I'm personally not sure that medieval garb is "goth" but, of course, I'm in fandom and would call that more SCA. I would say, that if your families are upset by your plans and won't come, you are probably much better off without them!

Hi Sweetheart! I am Sooooooooo Happy to see you! I have missed you ever so much! First off congratulations on being angaged, secondly no I don't think you are being weird at all for wanting the wedding the way you want it after all you guys are the ones getting married not your family members. I don't think that they are being very fair! I think that they should want to attend and be there no matter what ... no matter how "weird" it may seem to them I really think that they should put their own personal feelings aside! Just my opinion anyhow! Hugzz, congrats again and good luck!

This is you guys' wedding, not your families'. You should have the wedding the way you want because it is the day that you will remember for the rest of your lives, and it should be perfect the way you want it. If your families say you are weird and don't want to attend, let them stay home. It would be their loss, and not yours. If I were you, I wouldn't change a thing.

it's your wedding.unless they are paying for it,i would tell them deal with it, it's your day not theirs.it sounds cool to me i'm not fond of white either.i never wear it,and i think the color looks horrible on me anyway.

Hi there. I don't think you're weird at all. My older brother has been goth his entire life, and despite the claims of "it's just a phase," he's in his mid-twenties and still embraces the goth lifestyle. Although I'm not goth I've always respected those who are because people are so judgmental toward them it's crazy. My goth brother is not a Satan worshipper nor is he "evil." I think your gothic wedding sounds beautiful and individualistic. If your family is against it, they don't have to come, but I'd suggest not encouraging your relationship with them afterwards if they don't. Wait for an apology. If you invite your family and they don't come due to the "weirdness" of it, that is a sad and pathetic excuse for being family. Have your gothic wedding, and have fun. If your family doesn't like it, too bad. If they ask about it you can let them know how beautiful it was and that they missed out. My wedding only consisted of my to-be husband, myself, and the minister, and I wore a bright blue dress. Yet it was unbelievable how many comments I received from my family about how that wasn't right, how it was excluding people, etc. Weddings are a union first, celebration later. You only have a responsibility to make the wedding into what you and your partner want it to be.

It is your wedding and your business to have it exactly the way yoiu want. Yoiur guests dont have tomdress in Goth, do they? So why should they object? I certainly dont think family should interfer, and it is an insult if they refuse to attend. If they dont come, let them know your feelings.

"Weird" = awesome in my book. Technically the word means "anything out of the ordinary"...and it's good to be unique. Families should never interefere with what a couple wants to do for their wedding, also it's not very nice of them to just refuse to attend because it's not the "traditional" type of wedding. It's supposed to be an event for you, not for them...can't they suck it up for ONE day? So what if they feel out of place or awkward, you know?

hi recycledgoth, You are not weird at all or maybe you are very weird but who cares if you are comfortable with who you are. If your family is not paying for your wedding then it is their choice whether or not to attend and while it hurts to know that how you dress means more to them than you, well, you can't deny it says more about the type of people they are than you. I know you care about but this is YOUR day and the day that you and your husband will look back and remember. Do it your way. Their adversity will only add to your memories.

Your wedding is the choice of what the 2 of you want. We had a redneck wedding and everyone loved it. From her being driven down the isle on a tractor with a trailer to mud wrestling and the DJ we had everyone had a great time. I will attach a pick of after we were just married. Yes she wore a dress but everyone else in the wedding wore hunters camouflage.

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!! Right on the heels of the famous love day, I am thrilled for the both of you My wedding I had was an anti-wedding, our little daughter was 14 months old and present, we had ONE friend there, and I wore a dress but it wasn't white and it wasn't long. We chose our own vows and the JP was a woman and the ceremony took 15 minutes lol. We also went on our honeymoon a little over two years BEFORE the wedding. So anyway, your plans sound wonderful, I'd love to see a picture of the dress! I think those couple members of your family are weird and if they are not going to attend and celebrate your marriage, they should stay home and sulk and not ruin your day or the day of those who are there to celebrate with you. I certainly would not want to come face to face with one of them, I'd speak my mind and clearly! I very much believe when a couple in love decides to get married, it is up to them, the plans, the timing, whatever. It is nobody else's business nor is it up to anybody else how things go. They don't even need to know why you want to do things your way, it is enough that it is your wedding and your marriage, so it is your say. I think if they refuse to attend, they will simply miss out, and I would not try extra hard to try and help them make up for it either. If they choose to act childish and sulky, let them. It will only hurt them in the end because it will mean they weren't there to support you and bless you on your special day.

I think that your wedding is exactly that: YOUR wedding. It should be what you want it to be because it is your special day. I understand if Daddy is footing the bill (as is tradition but growing less and less common as time goes on) he should have some say in what you do with his money but he should also want you to be happy and have what you want (as long as you don't go thousands of dollars over budget). If dressing like an overgrown meringue cookie isn't your cup of tea, then your family should accept that and let you have your day the way you want it. I've decided that when (and if) I get married, my Maid of Honor's primary job is to fend off my relatives and answer their stupid questions because she will do a much better job than I could ever hope to.