Am I a bad person or just bad luck?

Hi Bunny I think for a start she should make him aware of the Dangers lurking outside I am sorry but if I asked her to make sure all is locked up and she would have given me that answer I would not have been impressed and told her that she needs to be aware and so does the Child that there is danger out there as she is running the risk of letting the Danger become more of a Danger Also she needs to respect your wishes in your House She has to stop protecting him like she does as the Boy will get a shock when he gets into the World and it will hit him hard He also sounds very spoilt he is 6 already and I can see this turning out not good as he does not seem to be rectified or anything like that So no it is not you at all

Sounds like to me u are going to have another problem if she sticks around. I think many people use the excuse of not making their children mind. he needs to be aware of being careful w/windows, doors or whatever. If stupid is the worse word he ever hears she will be lucky. I'm sorry things aren't going well but it might as well all come out while she's there. It's your home not hers & u have a right to say what u want. Girls are sonmething else nowadays, believe me i know . I have 2 daughter-in-laws that tick me off sometimes. i'm sure i do them to but that's their problem.

This isn't what you want to hear but it is my opinion and it is the way I Think this is going to happen. I can see where this lovely little boy is going to be what starts and ends most problems that will arise between your son and this lovely lady. This does not mean the mom or the child are bad people but let me tell you I know first hand what it's like in second relationships where children re concerned and face it what would you Not do for your kids. They're in what I call the honeymoon stage right now and because your son was raised the way he was this whole new experience will get old real soon, because it sounds like this is one of those what I call modern day mothers and that is a whole different situation. I wish them well I really do.

ADHD is used way too much! Normal little boys are being medicated because they are too active, etc. I'm sure a doctor has given her that diagnosis--you can't change that attitude. And naturally she wants her boy not to be afraid and feel safe--he's only 6. I think you might be over reacting a little. It's a big change for you to have a young one around that you can't send home, especially one that you don't know. See if it works out for your son and this woman. If it does, then you can set some ground rules and build a relationship. In the meantime, ask her privately to lock the windows in order to keep her son safe with everyone else.

In any new relationship there are plenty of ajustments to make. And in all parents there is a bit of spoilage going on. Hehehe. I think if it isn't a major thing I would over look it. He is the one who is in the relationship and if it doesn't bother him then I wouldn't go there. And, we can all improve our language and the words we chose to use. I can see where the word stupid could be hurtful. I think she is a little over protective but what are ya gunna do? Make a big fight? Or live and let live. Everyone raises their kids differently and I for one would certain not like to be repromanded or told how to raise my kids. I get help when I need it and I ask for opinions on my parenting skills at times. Stupid is a bad word! And we can all be more positive. I just fight the big fight. And by that I mean if it isn't a big deal I TRY to overlook it and move on. Life is short. People are only human. Mothers are unique and sensitive.

That's a toughie. Handling somebody else's kid is always kind of a minefield. On the other hand, it is your house. If it is just for a few days, the easiest way is to mutter under your breath and put up with it. Easiest, but not necessarily the best. There really are a lot of bad things that can happen, even to careful people. Maybe she just has an exaggerated sense of how hyped up all of our media outlets are about child abductions. Nearly always, when a child is snatched, it is by a non-custodial parent. The real cases of abduction by a stranger are rare, and they are big news (at least, it is big news if the child is white--nobody seems to care much about missing black children). Some parents have over-reacted by keeping their children virtually locked up. Still, setting aside all of the sensationalism, they are very real dangers in the world. Young children need to know not to get in a car with a stranger, just the same way they need to know not to run into the street. If you can't talk to her about it, maybe you can talk to your son. If neither of those is a good option, grit your teeth and bear it. It is only a week.

Oh dear...what a dreadful, stupid mother. If she wants her son to feel safe she should be shutting the windows she opened without being told. What a pain. Can you imagine your life if this woman and her child moved in? If you have to live with your son he has to be more considerate of the sort of people he brings home to visit. Can he not see how unsuitable this woman is? Or does he just want someone for the sake of having someone?

She's a weirdo, your son needs to stay FAR away from this one!

sounds like she is overprotective.the kid's gonna grow up with some issues if she doesn't let him just be a boy a little bit. i think sometimes doctors are to quick to say a kid has something like adhd.. after all,they make profits with diagnosis.(which is NOT to say it doesn't exist)..i shudder to think what my brother and i might be diagnosed with nowadays if we we kids.

I can understand your son's ex wanting the best for her child however, she's not doing him justice when she doesn't tell him the truth. He needs to learn what a stranger is and to not approach them otherwise, he's going to continue to have no fear and very well could be kidnapped and worse. So no, you're not being unreasonable, she is however, being WAY to protective and both are going to pay for that sooner or later if she doesn't change her ways.

I think that she is being unreasonable about the fact about not making sure that the windows and doors are locked. Doesn't she see that you are trying to look out for her. You are not trying to be rude to her at all. Just do the best that you can as far as making adjustments. You should not have to always keep your mouth shut especially when it comes to saying what is right.

It sounds to me like she doesn't know how to be a good guest! She should not be telling you what you can and cannot say in front of her son. She IS your guest, after all. She should be more respectful of your ways. I agree that she is way overboard on the protection issue. Her son is going to have many problems when he's old enough to go out into the world and realizes that life is not what she has allowed him to know about. I have the feeling that he will not be happy with the way his mother is raising him once he's out in the real world, especially once he gets out of elementary school. I raised my boys to know about life. If they asked a question, I answered, honestly. They have not had trouble adjusting to life and I'm happy about that. They heard words that are not widely socially accepted and I would tell them that very thing and that I didn't want to hear them saying them. I didn't "hide" them from these words, they heard them everywhere! Oh, and my youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. For that very reason I wanted him to know all he should know, about how there were many different kinds of people with many different views on things. I didn't want him being shocked once he was an adult. Heck, I didn't want him being shocked once he started school and started hearing other kids saying things that they shouldn't. I was protected from the "bad" side of life and had a hard time dealing with things that came my way for years after I left home. Oh, and I don't consider "stupid computer" to be anything that shouldn't be heard by a little boy! There is nothing bad about that phrase. It's all her. Your son is going to have problems with her if he decides to make this relationship any more permanent. He'll have to accept her way of doing things, and I doubt very much if she would allow him to discipline her son. She sounds very controlling in that area. I could be wrong but, from the way I read your post, it sounds like this woman has issues she needs to deal with before she can be happy with anyone. I don't see where you said anything wrong and she needs to learn to be a more grateful guest!

Hi Bunny! Was wondering where you've been! Now I know... I think there are probably as many parenting styles as there are children. Somehow most of the kids turn out ok anyway. It sounds like mom is over-protecting her son from reality. Then when I think about how society has changed in the past 20 or 30 years, I'm not sure if I can blame her. In being so over protective, it sounds like she has fears that she hasn't addressed. Being from NY, the horrors of 9/11 are probably right up there for reasons. I don't know anyone from Eastern NY or Southern New England who has not been permanently changed because of it. Living here in Oklahoma, I see similar fears resulting from the OKC bombing and from natural occurrences like hurricanes. On the other hand, she should remember that she's in YOUR home. So if you remind her to lock windows and doors, it's so everyone feels safe, not necessarily because you think some one is out there. And calling inanimate objects stupid? Give me a break! It not like you said, "stupid f'ing computer"...which probably crossed your mind. She could have used that as a learning example by explaining why we don't call people that, but computers don't have feelings... Look at the bright side. It's only a week.

Hello my friend I don't think you are wrong I mean this is your home and you should be able to relax and say what you feel, I don't think you were being disrespectful in any way, I think we all may have a story to tell when it comes to how people behave when it comes to their children, some good some bad, I would not like to feel uncomfortable in my home that would drive me nuts, you said the cild is 6 and you asked for the doors to be locked in front of the child like he is thinking about someone breaking in, maybe she needs to relax before she drive the kid nuts.

I would pray for your family and you. Hope you all have the strength and patience to forgive and overcome this tough period of time.

For me she seems a sensitive person and that you have to treat her with gentle gloves. I would do it for your son's sake and try not to be invasive as much as possible. I would not intrude or dictacte how things should be done in other people's houses or how other person's children should be raised. Unless they are suffering from some kind of abuse I would keep my mouth shut

My son has autism and I hear a lot of stories from parents and caregivers about other children with autism. Most of them are a handful. In my opinion, a lot of it has to do with the parents not being firm enough with the child. They are afraid to be because of the autism, afraid the child can't handle it, etc. Not to say that there aren't a lot of legitimate reasons why children with autism and other disorders have problems, but some parents use that as an excuse or tippy toe around it. Sounds to me like the son's girlfriend is too sensitive and over protective. Doesn't sound to me at all that you did anything wrong. She's going to have problems with him when he gets older imho.

Alot of people use a diagnosis as an excuse to let there kids get away things. I know an adult who tells people " o, I've been diagnosed as bi-polar" and she thinks she can go out and do what ever she wants to do. I've had a lot more go on than that of a mental disease ( which she doesn't take meds for) and i'm more stable than she is. She has major mood swings and then tries to put her kid off on every body else to take care of instead of her taking care of him. I've had mine by my side for the past 5 years and I can understand where you would see that as an excuse. The only way I would believe her would probably be if i went to the doctor with her with the boy and heard him say he has it. That's just me.

Umm, I don't think that you are being mean or acting out of line at all. He is six years old, my daughter is now seven years old. I think at that age that children need to be made aware of dangers that can happen in this world. The saying a bad word could be taken to have been in the wrong, but I think that all adults, whethere they are parents or grandparents, or just an adult in general are prone to use a bad word every now and then. And, it doesn't sound to me like the little boy suffers from ADHD.

I think you are not bad. you time is a bit bad. and when you come to know. you can do for either two things.one is wait for the good time and other is you do your things to make your bad time good. and i think the second option is the option where you can perform. you must not care now for anything to make the time good. goodluck