What should be the best to do?
By nykel88
@nykel88 (999)
Philippines
February 15, 2010 11:18pm CST
My friend confess to me that he had a certain crush with a girl who has already have a boyfriend. I told him that is okay we all get to experience infatuations even though they are with someone and it is not wrong to have one and he laughed. After a few days I've seen them together with my friend and I saw them holding hands! Okay I was shocked and wondered if she broke up with her boyfriend and got my friend as a rebound. I asked my friend did she broke up with his girl friend I saw you two together.. He said No, she is still with her boyfriend but she told me she liked me to be her company. Okay I was like huh!?! Are you nuts? What if her boyfriend knows.. wouldn't that make a feud? He replied Don't worry Nobody will know that. I'm kinda disappointed on what he said because first of all it was wrong and second if the girl was doing this then that means it isn't the first time she had someone like that besides my friend. I don't know what to advice my friend now since they go out every Sundays now. Should I leave them be?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@chocolatelle (277)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
hello nykel88. as a friend, you wouldn't want to get your friend in trouble or get hurt and i'm sure you would protect him as much as you could. so talk to him and give him a piece of your mind. tell him to straighten things up! cheating is never a good deed and it will result to something bad eventually. if he still don't want to listen to you then he must face the consequences of getting into that kind of relationship. It's their choice to stay that way and you know to yourself that you've done your part as a caring friend.
1 person likes this
@nykel88 (999)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
Yes that is what I am anticipating. Few weeks just pass and their still at it. This won't last long I'm sure of it. I never thought he'd do such a thing since this friend of mine hasn't have any experience about relationship. I'm guessing he wants to experience one but it started in a very wrong way. The term maybe implied as "Opportunistic". Oh well let experience be his upbringing for change.
@summer77 (414)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
chocolatelle, you got a point! Very well said. If I put myself on nykel888 shoes, I would be concerned and I will talk to my friend and tell him that what he is doing isn't right and tell him of the possible consequences if he don't listen. If he really doesn't then, he must be prepared for the outcome. I don't want to get through the situation, as long as I've done my part, then it's his decision already. That's really a complicated situation.
1 person likes this
@chocolatelle (277)
• Philippines
17 Feb 10
to nykel88: so it's his first time to be in a relationship? oh my.. what a wrong way to start a love life. tsk tsk. hmm.. i just hope that friend of yours is old enough to take full responsibility if things got a little out of hand. Let him learn from his mistakes. (and I just hope he WILL learn)
@draniembohol (55)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
thats the problem with us we tend to collect and select the best and we dont know if we have hurt someone. why not one at a time. and if they're meant to be then good for them. we are just too fast in collecting. and in the process we are hurting someone. its a matter of attitude and values.
@mariashieryl (61)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
that is so true drainiembohol, it is not only the consequence of having to hurt somebody else feelings but the worse is him ending himself.
As an advice I think you should ask your friend if his relationship with this girl will not end up good; can he accept it? He should be ready to face rejection because what his doing is breaking up a relationship.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7808)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
It is quite alright to be concerned with the friend of yours, especially that it seems like he's going to be in a lot of trouble eventually. You should stress the situation. Why does it have to be a secret to begin with? He is just pleased that he is with this girl that she likes but, it is not permanent until something better happens. He should be wary with her.
If he knows that he is in a very bad situation, he should also know what to do and don't take any risks. If he doesn't you just have to make it clear to him. As long as this kind of routine is kept hidden, it just means that the girl doesn't want anyone to find out, you ask him why is it so and he give an excuse why, just tell him that relationships aren't about deceiving people. 
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
16 Feb 10
You can't stop your friend from seeing this girl so there's not much that you can do to get him to wise up. You might want to mention that a girl who cheats on her boyfriend is likely to cheat on him also if he becomes her next boyfriend. But, don't be surprised if he ignores your warning. He's not thinking clearly right now.
@nykel88 (999)
• Philippines
16 Feb 10
I suppose so. I'm trying not to get involve with them for I don't want to have further investigations from his boyfriend if ever they get caught because of this girl we don't see him to often anymore. We use to hangout with my other buddies and even they opposed to this situation and yes he should be taught a lesson in his own way. Thank you for the information.
@dksemke (65)
• United States
16 Feb 10
That is a tough call. You haven't really seen them in a compromising position so you don't want to assume that more is going on. However - it certainly doesn't look right for them to be seen holding hands in public, because other people are going to jump to the wrong conclussion regardless of how inocent they claim this relationship is. Actually there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time. I do feel like you do, that it is wrong to deceive the other guy. But at this point you really can't do much since the girl is the one doing the deceiving. I guess all is fair in love. And to tell him that if she cheats on one guy, she'll do it to your friend too, is only going to make him defensive. HE is your friend, so keep your loyalty there, and hope that he doesn't end up getting hurt. You don't owe the boyfriend anything.
1 person likes this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
17 Feb 10
Yes, just let them be. There is a saying ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’…I think this would describe their situation and its future perfectly. Your friend and that girl knows that what they are doing is not right, you’ve warned your friend enough, now if they don’t come to their senses, there’s nothing you can do about it at this moment. Only thing is that you can be there for your friend in case of the inevitable heart-break and tangle he’s headed for.
@smileonstar (4007)
• United States
16 Feb 10
HI,
I dont think you can do anything about it cuz they went to far already. just let it be and please dont be advice on anything that involve with his love, otherwise it will end up with u in that complication love.
This called a CHEAT, not COMPANY... wow!!! I dont know how the his girlfriend and her boyfriend would act when they know. sound like, they didn't know anything even someone else was stepping on their head. why would they do that for? is that something they can't let each one go or something? if they think they really need each other then, just break up with other first. Better leave them alone and this will not last long though
@smukherjee_on_line (578)
• India
16 Feb 10
I think the girl is just doing flurt with your friend. As soon as he should come out of it.....
@fairytale123 (334)
• China
17 Feb 10
I am sorry to hear that.I think that girl not such a good girl.If she loved your friend than her boyfriend,why didn't she broke up with her boyfriend?and don't want anyone know that she is together with your friend.You need to take tomes to give your friend advince let him leave this girl.or let this girl broke up with her boyfriend and together with your frind.It is complicated.include 3 people.wow...best wishes to you.
@niravt4 (19)
• India
16 Feb 10
first of all,you dnt have to bother about them!!!!
and if he is your best friend then also you can only worry because he knows about the girl that she has a bf. so there is nothing you can do about it.!!!
and dont worry about your friend because as far as i believe he is only having fun with that girl!!!
he'll never take this relationship further!!!!!
