Hurt me with lies...why can't he hurt with the truth?

Hi, I am so sorry to know that you are sad. if somebody is lying to you then probably the relation won't last long. But if it is his work related or something then there might be a genuine reason. Actually, it is quite situational. But lying is lying and one must not lie to a person whom they love. Pray, everything turns out well for you. Bodhi

Well, that is the hard truth. They lie because the truth is hurtful and they don't wanna see us get hurt. But we get deeply hurt with the lies all along. Either way, it hurts. So which is it? I believe that it depends on the character of the person and how they perceive you would be able to handle the so-called truth and lies. Personally, I'd rather be told the painful truth in one blow. It's easier to bear it than hear all those unnecessary lies and build up all the pain over time. This reminds me of the song Baby, Don't You Break My Heart Slow. You can still have a good day, sister.

I agree with the previous post. Get Rid Of Him! One lie is one too many in any relationship. Guys lie for a number of reasons and would really depend on what he lied to you about. Often times the truth is just too painful. That is if the guy is a total coward. Regardless, a lie is a lie! Do not put up with it by letting it happen again. Let go of this guy and be available to one who is going to treat you right!

hello jaiho, sorry to hear that you have been hurt again! huh! looks like you are always being hurt these last few weeks. i hope for you to moved on and found the man that will make you happy & will not hurt you. in my opinion, and just like what i hear to some men, they lie on us for the hope that we will not find out the truth! haha i mean, sometimes they lie because they don't want to hurt us...*sigh* because they know that they have done something that may hurt us, and so as an alibi, and to reason out, they will just be saying that i didn't say the truth coz i don't ant you to be hurt...but i didn't lie! haha but what they don't know is that it even hurt us more if we found out the truth through other people. i hope men would realize this fact... although the truth hurts, still its better to be hurt than be fooled... but some men do have the thought of what we don't know wont hurt us... but what they didn't know is that we always find the truth...by one way or another and no secret will be hidden forever...

i am sorry to hear that jaiho :( maybe he doesn't deserve your true love, i can't say much here coz i am not good at it i am young and trying to understand, build trust, all i know is it can hurt so much when someone would break our trust, truth is the only way to healthy relationship i guess, i hope you get over things soon and you deserve much better.. take care my friend..

Dear, I thought you have some untold connection with India. First of all I would like to say, when you have a problem, first deal with it. The cause and background can be analyzed at some later time. Now the situation is as I presume, someone did tell you a lie and you came to know it from someone else, and this whole thing hurt you. Now should you really care about why he lied to you? I think you should be thinking about how to recover from your grief in the quickest possible way. Problems are not solved by staying at the same level where they have been created. Ok. Now what you have to do is you have to detach yourself from the whole situation and then consider the simple fact that no matter how we care about people, only God is our true friend. Everything that you see, you hear, will eventually fade away. When you came into this world there was none except God who helped you. When you will be leaving you will also surrender yourself to that divinity once again. All we face, all we endure in between are just the intermediate stages. God has just devised them to help us reach our realization as quickly as possibly. Why should we be crying? What for? There is nothing here that truly ever belonged to me. None is gifted with any capability to hurt us. Its my ego that hurts me, yours hurts you. Just try to eliminate the expectations. Don't ask anything to any common man. They will invariably fail you. If you really wanna ask something, ask it from the sole person who is capable to give, who has the true right to give, God. Everybody else are humans, therefore, imperfect and incompetent like we are. God bless you

It may not feel like it now but it is probably for the best. Why prolong your hurt if this individual is hurting you with lies now that probably isn't going to change. It makes alot of sense what you said though If you can hurt me lies then why not hurt me with the truth at least the truth would make more sense then the lies. Sometimes we just need to get on with our lives and keep searching for that someone that is going to be true and live for you.

jaiho2009, Honestly, I am wondering if you can handle the truth when you are already so devastated with a lie here? Irregardless, if you have found out the truth or lie, something just tells me that your heart just does not have the capacity to accommodate. No offense taken, but you seem like another individual who wants their partner's honesty, yet their love and maturity are not evidently magnanimous enough accept the outcome. Sometimes, other than a partner's willful deceit, the other half (you) does play a part for such conjectures and outcomes. Where and when he pours out the truth to you, it's akin to the child opening the present, only to find a broken toy train. You are in that sort of situation: wondering what went disarray, despite giving a world to your love. Such circumstances often coerce a woman like yourself into retrospection that leads to befuddlement because it makes absolutely no sense why. (It can be explained via Classic Conditioning, but I won't go length with it for now). I feel the gist of this whole drama centered on one notable cosmic lesson: the need to readjust your definition of love and understand the concept of 'Moderation'. Too much of anything is a bad thing, therefore it goes the same for 'good behavior'. But that doesn't mean you have to employ a negative value to balance the equation like your peers or some sitcom have advocated. Ironically in love, when you have a figure of 3 and you need to get the sum to 2, it doesn't mean minus 1 will resolve the entire issue. In theory yes, but not or rather NEVER in reality. Love is not about looking each other; it's about looking at the same direction! Would you be able to educate your man to share this sentiment? Or would he influence you to share his? Perhaps you might want to do REAL communication (NOT sugar-coated chats, fear-imbued talks or even not-getting-to-the-point conversations) to check out the discrepancy and decide how you are going to patch the chasm from there. Loving him a lot is one thing - making it work is another. P:S If you want to learn about love, be prepared to take some risk in getting hurt and shed some tears - it's part of the growing up process in love. If you are unable to accept his errant history, then you might want to consider an exit because you CANNOT change the past. Acceptance is your only bridge to his foolish past and errant ways. If you decide to love, then you have to walk the talk and learn to build a house using bricks instead. Have a !

Jai dear, I think he does not deserve your true love. Think why a man should lie to a woman? he may be married and try to play with you for fun.(I wish he is a good man though) Let us see. Anyways concentrate on some other useful things dear. I will die for a woman who really loves me but will never care for a woman who does not really care for me. Will you follow me in this dear?

HI DIDI, u have forced me to think by this dis. i am already known about something wrong in your life that u have told me for a novel. its the real time to share it with me. do mail. i am always here with u . your bhai.

Hello Sad to know you are not feeling your best at this point in time, not sure how often you been through this all I can suggest that you do is take it as a lesson learned and think about the lies that were told to you and ask yourself is it really worth hurting/crying when this person is not worthy, I personally think liars stink so get angry at the fact that the person is a liar and be happy they are out of your life, who needs it. Good luck, feel better.

lies do really hurt, jaiho. lies are a form of betrayal and it hurts more if you know that the lie is intended. while truth also hurts -- that you know and he knows you're lying -- it is easier to accept it. but the most painful lie is from someone you love... because how can you be sure that his love is real when he keeps on lying. probably, his love is also one big lie...

hi! sorry to hear about it. it is really bad when someone who we love turns against us or lies us. But i think for many peope, it is just a way of living, they are accustomed to it, and just can't stop telling lie after lie, and in one moment we realize all these lies and just can't forgive them. But I also thing we can hurt with the truth! I don't know what exactly happened to you, but just imagine that your friend has cheated on you with some other girl and then came home and tell you what he has done. will you feel Ok or you will be hurt again?

Lying could destroy a relationship even worst it could cause a lot of trouble.. I am really sorry about what happened to you..The best thing you could do is let that guy go because he is not worth your love and attention.. Don't be upset there's always a rainbow after the rain... God never closes a door without opening a window.. You are destined for greater thing jaiho.. Don't let some lying ex boyfriend hurt you.. I hope that this could help you out and best wishes!!

jaiho2009 please you sound like a very sweet kind person, so why put up with lies from a thoughtless person who seems to either not know or not care that he has hurt you.Why do you want to be hurt with either truth or lies? being hurt is surely not love, love should not be physically painful or mentally painful. get rid of this thoughtless lout. Your love is misplaced if he is going around telling uou lies like that.Your heart is breaking because this fool hurt you and you love him or think you do, but how can love abide or even grow when there are lies? why do you want him to hurt you with the truth,this is sick you do not deserve to be hurt with any thing. get a hold of your self esteem and tell yourself you deserve someone who does not want to hurt you in anyway. but loves you.

hi jaiho. there are certain times that we have to tell a lies. white lies, as they say. but even what is its color, it will always be a lie. it really hurts us if we hear lies, all the time. and what hurts most is when someone you love lies to you. i am so sorry to hear this. but i hope you can overcome the pain it brings.

that's what always happen, painful lies oftentimes comes from someone we love because love could not be that painful if the one who does it is not important to our life. i could understand you, i also undergo that feeling. if you think that the lie isn't worth breaking the relationship, then stay. but if you think that you could no longer be happy with him, then you have to move on and find happiness for yourself.

Hi my bonita..there you are again. Heartbroken again. How many times would you be wise enough to handle heart problems? Is this your first time or second time??? Wake up...don't be deceived on this world that are full of deceivers. You know what? Did you still remember the saying " there are only two kinds of people living on this planet..the deceivers and the deceives.. The best solution I've known for that would be for you to cry and shout your anger throw your heart our in a closed room over night and in the morning am sure it would be relaxing again...he he he Cheer up again..my bonita....