Is it deserved to not divorce for the sake of kids?

Here in the Philippines, we don't have divorce instead we have annulment. Annulment takes so much time before it'll be granted so maybe that's why a lot of couples prefer to be together even though they no longer have feelings for each other. Aside from that, annulment is very much costly. My cousin already has her own family and her husband also has another family. They weren't legally separated so they can't marry their current partners. I guess it doesn't matter to the couples if the family will break during the time that they realizes that they no longer love each other. In the end, the kids will suffer more.

i dont think the kids will happy to see their parents always fighting and always have arguments every time they saw them together. and i dont think the kids will happy to see their mother always crying. kids are already smart in today's generation, they are gifted with wide mind enough to think and understand everything as long as the parents will explain the reason of divorce. as for me. i would rather see them separated as long as i can see both of them are happy with it. besides they're still my parents anyway and as long as i can see them happy then no problem with me. it will only be a tortured in the kids part to see their parents always fighting.

Children learn what they see and hear. Although the ideal environment for a child to be raised in is with both parents, if the parents aren't close and are at odds with each other, if there's tension, anger, disrespect and coldness...what lessons does the child learn and the bring into his/her future relationships? I believe that parents should try their best to save the relationship but if that's not possible, providing the child with a peaceful, loving environment with each parent separately in two homes is better for the child's emotional development.

Well, not really i think. Some of my friends decided to divorce after they have kids, even one friend will divorce after she has 2 kids!!!and some other friends still stay in marriage even though they haven`t had kids yet for several years. Today, women are more prepared to take risk. If their hubby is not responsible, why should they stay in their marriage just for their kids?

I'm not quiet convinced to stay in marriage just for children sake.Marriage has no meaning at all without love though it blessed with children.In my concept marriage has to be filled with love and care,i believe some parents can sacrifice to stay just for their kid's sake but i think its not right, sooner or later the kids will know exactly whats going on inside the family and it would be better to tell them honestly what was happening than to pretend a happy family and finally it will end like you have cheated yourself and the kids. Happy Lotting..God bless!

First of all, a couple should not get married if they are not sure that they can stick with each other through thick or thin. Love, in a relationship, may come and go but trust and respect, when maintained would be enough for a relationship to go on. There are times that I feel like love is just a state of mind, so when it is gone, you can replace it with something else that would glue the relationship together. not divorcing because of the kids, well I think that is fair enough because the children should not be the ones to suffer because of their fault. However, if the situation at home where you said marriage is meaningless becomes more excruciating than healthy, I think that the children must be spared of that. Maybe the parents should try counseling and creating a stronger bond with God. Find a copy of "fireproof" and make your parents watch it. It is a good movie about how marriage that seemed to be doomed was salvaged by faith.

A six month old baby is not going to be all that upset if his or her parents split up and then get divorced. A toddler might get over that fairly well. However children older than three can get upset if their parent's marriage splits up. It can take a child two years to get over his or her parent's divorcing. I think that if a couple stay together for the sake of their kids none of the family would have an awfully pleasant time. There is bound to be some tension in the household. A couple might have twin beds instead of a double bed. The man might work late in the evening to avoid seeing much of his wife. The children would be the lack of love between their parents. I know that if a relationship is not working then discussion and therapy might work. Divorce is a horrible step to take. It would be better to be honest with the children. The family could work better if the parents stay together with clear language or divorce but stay friends.

Either way you go the kids suffer. if your unhappy within your marriage it will show and cause your kids to be unhappy. no matter how you try your attitude, arguing, and poor communication will affect your kids. If Parents divorce it will affect your kids. I think the best thing to do is find a solution to be happy , it will hurt at first but its a growing pain that will eventually become strength, I am not saying to just give up and divorce but if you tried all you could to make it work, prayer, counseling, therapy and it still isn't working then its time to separate

I don't think it's proper to stay with each other regardless how much the guy maltreats you, to the point of abusing you physically, for the sake of the kids. Most especially if the kids know or see that their dad is abusing the mother. I think that traumatizes them, which I guess is the reason why kids would understand (if the father is really abusive) that it's time for the parents to separate. On the other hand, if the fights is all about greed like need for money, complaints because of lack of funds all the time (even if both parties do work hard but just don't have much luck), I think it's good to think beyond our happiness because we do have a family and we did have kids and these kids didn't choose their lives, we chose for them. So I guess we should put our selfish wants aside for the sake of the children. I guess if it's okay to leave or get divorce if we're dissatisfied, that's really an act of selfishness because we're practically blaming others for a life that we should have given our share of working it out too.

yeah! one should think thoroughly before giving divorce with his wife or her husband for their innocent children. Why they are sacrifice despite they done nothing wrong. It is disgusting to take divorce without thinking what will be happen to their children in future...

Children often sense that things are not comfortable when the parents are not happy or pretending to be, so therefore I think teaching a child that they have to be uncomfortable or unhappy to keep the family together is not right. I think they are less likely to seek a family connection of their own when they are adults.

i'm not so sure about this. sometimes it's not right to force what's not meant to be. the children will suffer a great deal. just seeing their parents fight all the time because of irreconcilable differences would deeply wound as child growing up. sometimes, it is best to just let it go. sometimes it is best to know when there's no more sense fighting what was already lost in the first place.